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Missing some of our friends

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Old 08-29-2010, 08:47 AM   #1
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Default Missing some of our friends

I know a lot of us suddenly got really busy, me included. I also know a few of you out there who pop in every now and then to let us know you're still on the wagon. But I was reading through some old threads today and several old friends appear in those threads that I haven't seen around in a long, long time and I miss them.

Do you guys do that? Worry about the welfare of those who disappear? You hope they're just super busy, but you wonder if they've lost that spark. I'm always so encouraged to see people come back who maintained while away or gained only some of what they lost back.

Too many times I've been the one who disappeared only to regain everything plus 5-10.
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mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html

Last edited by Eliana : 08-29-2010 at 08:47 AM.
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Old 08-29-2010, 09:11 AM   #2
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This is a community in many ways as real as the one you live or work in so it makes sense you'd notice when folks have disappeared.

Two years ago when I was first getting serious about eating healthier I joined 3FC and started a topic for folks who work swing or overnight shifts. We face additional obstacles to weight loss and there was some good info shared there but Fall came, we all got busy with life, and now, two years later none of those folks are still here. One person posted once this summer and then disappeared again.

It makes me sad. I hope they are all doing well, especially on the part of this journey we were sharing together.
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Old 08-29-2010, 03:09 PM   #3
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Yes, I do wonder that myself. I hope that some of it is due to summer and vacations and whatnot. It seems it got quiet around march too like an after New Years lull. I like the support here. I hope anyone who is deciding to come back reads and sees that we are here ready to provide support, advice, encouragement, etc.
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Old 08-29-2010, 03:50 PM   #4
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I wonder about it, too. It kind of bums me out even while I know I haven't been as active in the last month as usual. Hopefully they will come back!
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Old 08-29-2010, 04:04 PM   #5
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The statistics about regaining weight are probably a pretty realistic answer for why some people go away after a while. Even though that's probably when they need this site the most, they push away from it because they may feel twinges on reading threads on others' success, or because they're embarrassed to say what's going on with them.

As for me, I get busy sometimes. And every now & then I start thinking I ought to be on the Internet less, and I resolve to keep away from the forums except for certain designated times. (I'm sure I'm not the only one who occasionally rues the amount of time she spends online when she ought to be doing other stuff, and tries to recover more lost time to use for other purposes. Some mornings, when I'm reluctant to get my butt in gear, I have to remind myself: Is it really better to sit here **reading about** losing weight than going to the gym & actually working at it?)

Or maybe people save 3FC for times of trouble. Or else it's like a school where they learn things & then eventually graduate & move on, and afterward use their online time mainly for some of their other interests. They don't want to be completely consumed by the weight-loss project & they pick up their old hobbies & preoccupations again.
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Old 08-29-2010, 04:29 PM   #6
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Agreed with what Saef said about pulling away from 3FC when you're not doing well. I'm definitely one of those. When I'm on plan, I log in to keep myself there. I post my food, workouts, weigh-in and one reason I'll stay on plan today. But when I'm not doing well, I don't want to post all those things. The one reason I'll stay on plan feels like a lie when I seem pre-destined to go off plan. It is nice to see those who come back and have stayed on plan. I'm not one of those. If I go away, it's bad!

I do have that tendency to feel that I spend too much time reading about weight loss and not enough of that time working on it. But I've also come to accept that I need the support and accountability of this site. I'm much happier with myself spending my online time here than wasting it on facebook and hulu!
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Old 08-29-2010, 05:49 PM   #7
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Unfortunately many of the names I think about who have gone MIA have come back with big regains, it rarely seems to be anything else, if we're talking months on end of absence. Sometimes different circumstances precipitate those regains (like work transfers, deaths, spousal issues, etc etc) but site or bloggy silences generally seem to point to weight problems.

It makes me sad
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Old 08-29-2010, 07:06 PM   #8
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I've done the disappearing act on other sites. Most notably Soul Cysters and a South Beach site. I've come here and have been the most successful I've ever been. I understand the disappearing act, and for me it's never good. If I'm not here, you can be sure it's because I've given up. I do always end up somewhere again, but I never revisit those old sites.

And yes...I could use a little less screen time.
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Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
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Old 08-29-2010, 07:31 PM   #9
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Some do, some don't.

I personally don't visit as much as I used to.... chalk it up to a hectic family life, midnight shifts, and a long distance love.... or whatever ... but not all of us who don't visit quite so much fall off the wagon. I'm still losing, although a lot slower than at the beginning... and still very much on my diet. I have more off days lately, but that's because it's summer and other circumstances, but I could never go back to eating the way I used to, THAT'S for sure. I feel too great, by far, to do so!

So have faith... some people don't fall off, they just get on the wagon called Life and don't look back.... maybe quite so much.
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Old 08-29-2010, 10:33 PM   #10
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I DO wonder about people and one thing that really does bother me about the internet is the way that people can just disappear from one day to the next and poof! They are just gone...

Sometimes I feel genuinely connected to people and when they disappear it's weird....

I have been SUPER DUPER busy lately, but I still try to check in at least once a day. It keeps me on track.
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Old 08-29-2010, 11:54 PM   #11
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I've been less active here recently due to a host of reasons. I still check in and read the forums when I can (usually late at night) but I've been missing lots of threads.
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:53 AM   #12
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I've been here lots less over the summer, due to us having been on holiday twice and then my usual routine being a mess with DD being on school break, but I do still check in and read posts most days if I get chance.
Unfortunately it's also meant that I've been struggling to stay on track and have been reverting back to some comfort eating due to various issues at home. Overall I'm still losing but slowly, and my focus hasn't been there.
Now that school is about to start again I'm recomitting and really want to try to get to goal before the end of the year, as well as trying to tone up my awful saggy bits that are getting me down lately.
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Old 08-30-2010, 07:00 AM   #13
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Having been around here for awhile I too worry about some people that I felt really connected to here. I may not always post but I read almost daily. I need it to keep on track. Sadly, if I'm not reading, or haven't posted for awhile, I'm struggling...
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Old 08-30-2010, 08:02 AM   #14
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I have been on less since the Target ad slowed down the site so much. I read about the work arounds but decided it was probably a good thing that I break myself of the habit of mulitiple logins per day, so now only showing up once or twice a day and not always commenting.
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:02 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caryesings View Post
I have been on less since the Target ad slowed down the site so much. I read about the work arounds but decided it was probably a good thing that I break myself of the habit of mulitiple logins per day, so now only showing up once or twice a day and not always commenting.
I don't seem to have the problem with the ads. I haven't noticed any change in accessing the site....

I can't decide if it's a bad habit or not, but I DO sometimes worry how bereft I feel if I stop by the site and don't see "old friends" who have shared the journey with me. I wish I had more real life support. I don't know any "big losers IRL.

There was another site connected to my freelance job that I used to frequent multiple times every single day for at least three or four years. Now, I only check in occasionally and I rarely post-- I just feel like I'm in a different place developmentally from others who post there. BUT I shared professional connections with those people and ended up being real life friends with some of those people-- I count some people I "met" there as being among my best friends.

The whole internet thing is just weird.
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End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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