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Old 08-18-2010, 05:27 PM   #16  
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I think "starting over" is a concept that we need to get rid of. There is no starting over, there's just moving on. So do you really want to postpone getting on with your life (the life you're trying to build for yourself), or do you want to wallow in your mistakes for a while. Maybe make a few more whoppers to dig that hole just a little deeper before you start climbing out.

Doesn't sound so great when you put it that way, does it? It's become "traditional" to binge before a diet. It's also traditional to believe that dieting must be done perfectly, and if you make a mistake (no matter how small) why that means "you blew it" and the appropriate response is to eat like a maniac until you can "start fresh" being perfect tomorrow morning. Unless of course your mistake happens on a Thursday or Friday - then you have permission to gorge all weekend and "start fresh" on Monday.

It's an unwritten game we're taught to play, and we follow the rules without questioning them, because it's just the way dieting "is done" in our culture. Problem is it's a game that doesn't work - no one wins it, except by refusing to play by "the rules" we've all been handed.

To win, you have to break the rules. You have to make new ones, ones that will get you where you want to be, and "blowing it," then bingeing and "starting fresh" those are all the "old rules" the ones that don't work.

Every mouthful is a choice that can help or hurt you - so which is your next mouthful going to do. Is it going to get you closer to your goal, or move it further away.

I titled my 3FC Blog "Starting Over, Take 1847," and I regret it, because I learned (shortly after creating the blog) that there is no starting over. I've been dieting since I was 5 years old, I'm 44 years old now, and I realized that the concept of "starting over" has been my biggest obstacle. If I had understood from the beginning that even "failing" isn't starting over, IF you learn from the mistakes instead of deciding to mess up even more and start fresh tomorrow. It usually isn't the days honest mistakes that set you back it's the "might as well stuff my face all night so I can get it out of my system and start fresh tomorrow."

When there is no starting over, just moving on, you ask yourself which direction do you want to go backwards or forwards.

I constantly use the climbing analogy. If you're rock climbing and you slip and fall - do you keep climbing or do you throw yourself to the bottom of the canyon, so that you can "start over?"

The choice is obvious and yet it's not the choice we're "taught" to make. We're taught to throw ourselves to the bottom of the canyon - you can see why so few people ever make it to the top. Break the rules so you can get where you want to be.

Last edited by kaplods; 08-18-2010 at 05:29 PM.
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Old 08-18-2010, 06:37 PM   #17  
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Originally Posted by mandalinn82 View Post
Well, the way I see it, you can either decide to "start over" RIGHT THIS SECOND, saving yourself the calories you'd eat by remaining out of control today, or you can decide to continue being out of control and start tomorrow.

Given that the difference can be hundreds of calories, I think starting over now is a really good idea! No time like the present!
I agree 100%!
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Old 08-18-2010, 07:08 PM   #18  
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Whenever I mess up midday, I don't actually let the carry-over affect the rest of my day. I learned from monitoring my blood sugar levels while pregnant to consider each and every meal as a separate entity, so I don't give myself an overall daily calorie allowance. I pick an overall daily calorie allowance, then divide by three (roughly) and then give each and every meal its allotted calories. So usually for me, 3-400 calories per meal (with extra calories divied up for snacks inbetween).

So in a sense, if I screw up a meal, I "Start Over" for the next meal. I don't detract calories from dinner because I ate too many at lunch. Nor do I add calories for lunch if I eat a smaller breakfast. It was easy to see this with monitoring my blood sugar, how each and every meal needs to be treated separately, not days to be treated separately.

i.e. if you're going to organize your calorie intakes and separate it to visualize in your head, don't look at the next three days as:

Monday 1500 calories
Tuesday 1500 calories
Wednesday 1500 calories


look at it like:
Monday breakfast 400 calories, lunch 400 calories, dinner 400 calories
Tuesday breakfast 400 calories, lunch 400 calories, dinner 400 calories
Wednesday breakfast 400 calories, lunch 400 calories, dinner 400 calories


so I guess what I'm trying to say, is you have NINE opportunities to "start over correctly" looking at your calorie control the second way, instead of looking at your calorie control the first way where you only have 3 opportunities to start clean.


It also helps (in my head) to isolate the screw up to only 1/9 meals instead of 3/9 meals.

Its worked for me, like I said, I learned to think this way from sugar control and a finger pricker and lots of blood (literally!). It really helped me visually see the affects of one meal on my body chemistry. Great and painful experience for my nutrition control.

Its also good in just developing healthy habits, instead of gorging at one meal and starving yourself the next. If I gorge at one meal, I then "start over" and stick to the plan the next meal. If I skip a meal for some reason, I don't gorge at the next, I just stick to the plan. Each meal is in itself a goal and an opportunity to meet my goals for THAT meal.


Good luck!

Last edited by boots; 08-18-2010 at 07:11 PM.
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Old 08-18-2010, 07:37 PM   #19  
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I'm so glad you decided to start today! Now you can wake up in the morning with the feeling "I'm so glad I started this yesterday, now let's keep it going today" instead of "oh no, time to START this" or even worse, "one more day, THEN I'll start". You started already! Make tomorrow just a continuation of what good you've already got going on! And I agree with caryesings, log what you ate earlier in the day, too! Accountability!
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Old 08-18-2010, 08:06 PM   #20  
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Absolutely, as the others have said, start right now. Right this very minute.

Every calorie counts. It's not like there is some magical binge fairy who will make any calories eaten today not count as long as you pinkie swear to start back "on plan" tomorrow. One of the things that took me way too long to wrap my head around is that every thing I eat is "on plan" - and it's up to me to make sure my plan is a good plan.

It sounds like you've had all the food your body needs today and that the best plan would be to give eating a rest until tomorrow.
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Old 08-18-2010, 08:18 PM   #21  
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Originally Posted by Arctic Mama View Post
Starting tomorrow, Monday, New Years, etc etc, is just giving myself more time to make excuses and indulge today, make bad choices today, by holding myself continually accountable, I never let myself get into the all or nothing mindset that would defeat me! Its just all part of the journey, and one I am committed to for the rest of my life. Nothing is an excuse, not pregnancy or vacations, stress, you name it. If I DO take a break, it is just that, a break, maintenance, not on or off a diet.
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Originally Posted by caryesings View Post
Not only start now, but make sure you log everything that you ate earlier today. It's easy to log when you're eating on plan, a lot harder when you have to see those numbers when you've gone off course. If you let yourself not log whenever it's going to be ugly, it gets really easy to stop logging or to "eat all the bad food today" while not logging. Your body counts it even if you don't record it.
Amen to both of these---and thank you all for the encouragement!
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:23 PM   #22  
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I am always MOST successful when I make a decision and change immediately. 8 years ago, I was a chain smoker who was desperately trying to quit. I would always make it a few days-a week and then buy a pack. And every time I quit, I tried to do it at the "perfect time": a weekend where I had no responsibilities, a weekday where I'd be so busy I wouldnt think about cigs as much....whatever I deemed the perfect circumstances at that moment. One day I realized that there WAS no perfect moment/circumstance and, even if there was, that moment won't last long enough to STAY quit. So I looked at the cigarette I was holding in my hand and put it out. I crushed the rest of the pack and haven't smoked since.
So I say go for it!

Last edited by katkitten; 08-18-2010 at 09:25 PM.
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:37 PM   #23  
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So many good points were made in this thread! Every single decision we make matters. Every single one. The meals we ate earlier in the day are gone; we can't do anything about that. Except for things that people with eating disorders do, but we don't want that. So let's consider those decisions over. Done. In the past. All we ever have is the decision that we are facing for this meal, this snack, this moment in time when we could either exercise or not. Sometimes we don't make the best decisions; OK, that's done. Let's learn from that and make a better decision next time. I don't agree with the crowd that says, "Don't worry about it; it doesn't matter". Because they all matter. So for me, the most productive thing to do is to analyze WHY I made the bad decision, and come up with a plan of how I can avoid that circumstance next time. Usually it all comes down to planning.

So. That's the long-winded way of saying that I agree it's best to start now. Because that's all we have. Now. Planning to start tomorrow is like making an excuse to continue making bad decisions for the rest of the day (or week, or month, or.......)

Congratulations to you as you start this journey--I know you will succeed as you continue to make good decisions!
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