I was reading The Weight Loss Diaries by Courtney Rubin and I read one paragraph that made me go "ah ha!"
But mostly I've learned how little of being overweight is really about food. It's about priorities and boundaries and fear and avoidance of anything you don't want to feel. It's about demands that are too high and resources that are too low. I've also learned I'm not alone in feeling alone. I've learned that if I sneak my food, it won't ruin the facade I've created, but it will rot me on the inside.