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So ashamed. . .

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Old 10-13-2002, 09:09 PM   #1
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Default So ashamed. . .

Hello, everyone. . .I don't know if anyone remembers me, but I joined 3FC back in the summer when I was all gung-ho about losing weight and getting healthy. I remember how I was all excited, dedicated, I posted and responded to posts as much as I possibly could, and I thought THIS time was different. I had all of these lofty, poetic ideas about losing weight and felt inspired. (Remember the "Dreams" thread?) Then I dropped off the face of the planet.

Well, here I am heavier than I was only a few months ago, with no motivation and I am so ashamed at what I have become. I am on a fast food binge as if there's no tomorrow. My cholesterol must be like a telephone number. Physically I have never felt worse. . .my knees ache, and when I try to stand up, it feels like I'm carrying a whole other person on my back. I'm about to turn 31 this Wednesday, and I think I'm trapped in some sort of self-destructive cycle. . .those old birthdays roll around and then you start to kind of take stock. I'm single, and it gets lonely out there. . . most times it's just me and the food.

But I want to get back in there at whatever level I can, and maybe by taking baby steps I'll find my true self again!

Anyway, it feels so good to be back, if you'll have me!

Love to all ~ irishwings



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Old 10-13-2002, 09:56 PM   #2
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Irishwings -
I'm a total newbie to this board, but I have been the yo-yo dieter through-out my life. Being gung-ho in the past makes it embarrassing to come back after you drop out - that's a tough thing to do and I'm proud of you for doing it!

You can do this!Make this birthday the one you'll remember as the year you turned your life around!

Angi
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Old 10-13-2002, 10:14 PM   #3
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You're in the right place. Welcome back. Good Luck. Peace!
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Old 10-13-2002, 10:57 PM   #4
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Welcome back
You need to replace food as your friend (some friend, making you heavy and unhappy!) with the wonderfull people here. Wright down your goals, start small, making minor changes. If your lonely making friends will help you no end. Get some email diet buddies and if you feeling adventurous prehaps put an ad out there in a personals site. Maybe having some male oline friends would lift your spirits... Just suggestions Boredom and depression are the dieters enemy! Let me know if I can help you at anytime, glad your giving it another go.

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Old 10-14-2002, 08:38 AM   #5
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Default Welcome HOME, Irishwings

No shame allowed here. We do understand. And I do remember your enthusiasm. And we all know how hard it is to keep up the valiant fight. I've been in a slow period too. But I keep reading the posts. When you catch up with some reading, you'll see some of the faces from when you were here also are absent. Many of those who inspired me originally are MIA - but others are still here plugging away, sometimes losing, sometimes not. And there are many newbies here to keep up the enthusiasm. Welcome back, STAY back - at least lurking. Take your babysteps - I know you know them. I'm remotivating myself this AM as well realizing anew that it's up to me and anything I want to do I CAN do (that's a scary thought).

ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR IRISHWINGS AND HER RETURN -
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Old 10-14-2002, 08:55 AM   #6
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I am such a believer in baby steps! Congrats on coming back... I think that takes a lot of courage.

Let's set some realistic goals for you. How about limiting the fast food for this week. or always eating at the kitchen table. BABY STEPS

All the best to you - irish wings! and welcome back.

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Old 10-14-2002, 09:09 AM   #7
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The important thing is that you came back! Stay with us, and we'll try to help you along the way.

Welcome back!! I do remember you, we started around the same time. Come on girlie we can do this, one babay step at a time.
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Old 10-14-2002, 09:16 AM   #8
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Irishwings--Don't be ashamed of yourself; be proud that you are willing to get back on track. I think "babysteps" is definitely the way to go--trying to change every single thing at once is too overwhelming and you'll set yourself up to fall. Just for today--change one thing. Drink an extra glass or two of water or eat half your lunch and save the other half for an afternoon snack (my favorite "tip") or take a short walk. Just do something different today.

Welcome back. Keep posting!!

Barb
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Old 10-14-2002, 09:31 AM   #9
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You are not alone. Of course I remember you, you're right..the determination was flowing out of every pore that you have. And you know what? You can have that back again. I completely understand the feelings you have right now, believe me, I go through it too. I had a re-gain and while I could beat myself up over and over, it's not doing anything but making me sad and turn to food.

So..with all that said...take a deep breathe and start making those baby steps. You will be back where you were in no time. Give yourself some credit. You came back in..and you know how hard that was.

Were all rooting for you!!

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Old 10-14-2002, 10:30 AM   #10
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Don't be ashamed, but proud that your back You have the strength to do this. Just make up your mind that you ARE going to do this & keep coming back here & posting. We're all here to support you & give ya a kick in the bum when you need it
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Old 10-14-2002, 10:48 AM   #11
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Welcome back. Just take it all one step at a time!
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Old 10-14-2002, 04:56 PM   #12
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I remember you!! Of course we'll have you!!

I know the feeling of being on a binge cycle. I think everyone was right baby steps. Change one thing. And then go on from there. Think you can do that?
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Old 10-14-2002, 09:16 PM   #13
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so glad to see you again, irish. and these ladies are so smart with lots of great ideas.

now, just hang out. we're not going anywhere [and this from a recent lurker-only!!!!!]
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Old 10-15-2002, 09:04 AM   #14
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Hey, at least it's just a few months, not a few years ... I can relate to those sore knees, something that has motivated me to lose weight in the past (I still have them sometimes, but usually only when I'm doing lunges, and I'm working on building up those muscles!)

None of us is perfect. And there is nothing to be ashamed about.

Make little changes. Let those sore knees be an incentive, even for small things: what got me was thinking that if I kept going like I was going, I would eventually be completely immobile, not able to exercise .... surely you've seen stories about people who had gotten so large they couldn't get out of bed and emergency personnel had to knock down walls and use big machinery just to move them onto a flat bed to take them to the hospital ... I vowed that would not happen to me.

Stick around!

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Old 10-15-2002, 11:21 AM   #15
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*sniff*

Oh my goodness, you guys. . .I am overwhelmed, speechless! The outpouring of acceptance and welcome and encouragement you have given to me has done more for my self esteem and you have made my spirits soar!

I Love all of you ~ you're all angels!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. . . . .this means more to me than I can even say!

I'll be seeing you all around the board!!!

Love, irishwings
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