Yesterday was a bad day
Since my 15 lb truimph whilst on vacation, I have lost NO WEIGHT at all in two weeks. Infact I have been playing upsy downsy with 2 lbs. Grrrrrrr
There's been no change, I have stayed on plan, worked like a demon in the garden and generally been doing the usual.
Last night, DH, as a reward for the hard work done in the garden decided to order Pizza. We don't have many take aways in this country, and the only thing I find hard to resist is pizza. No-one remembered I wouldn't eat it, no-one cared I had nothing but 2 day old soup to eat.
Soooooo, the pizza arrives, and it smells amazing- I was also hungry because I had been working in the garden all day. My family (who I adore btw and who are usually very sensitive) barged me out of the way, scoffed loads of pizza, and then tucked into chocolate pizza sticks !! Meanwhile I ate my 2 day old soup and a salad.
Later I went to clean up the kitchen, found my son tucking into yet another piece of pizza (he's 13 and does nothing but eat and sleep). I was just so frustrated and mad and pi**ed off that I got mad with everyone and stomped of in floods of tears.
This is very unlike me. I am the queen of positivity, but I feel so mad that I haven't lost since returning, am so close to halfway I can taste it, but can't achieve it, and felt very unsupposrted by my family, who incidentally chomped their way across Florida whilst watching me not eat a thing, or chew on a lettuce leaf!!!!!
They love me Fat or thin, and want me to be happy. I know that I can't expect other people to support me in the way I need sometimes. I also know that whilst they say well done, and keep it up, and you look so much thinner mum, they also don't really understand how I feel. I have tried to explain so much to them about how I feel and what this means to them, but still feel that they don't understand. My best friend who is like a sister to me has the same approach - she just says stupid stuff like do you eat in secret !!
I guess what this rambling rant is trying to say is that I am
- Frustrated at not losing since vacation
-annoyed at my family for not understanding that
-looking for some support here
-hoping to change the funk I'm in.
Thanks for listening to me. Thanks for reading my garbled nonsense. Thanks for any support or advice you may have for me.