I hope it's okay to post this here, but I had an NSV today that I was proud of. I've recently realized that I've become VERY sedentary, and I often let things get in the way of getting exercise, even just going out for a walk. I joined the August points thread, so I actually had some outside motivation to go for a walk tonight. Anyway, I left my husband to put my sons to bed since he's not working tonight, and I went for a walk by myself. I didn't know where I would go or how long I would be out for, I just walked. I ended up walking down to the park I take my son to, and I decided to do a few laps around it. I decided I would do 3 laps and then walk elsewhere. Well, I got to the baseball field part of the park and there are a bunch of guys playing softball. I have seriously let my weight stop me from doing stuff lately because I'm so embarrassed by the way I look, so I was mortified to have to walk past these guys while I'm all fat and sweaty. At this weight, I feel like I'm such a disgusting blob of yuck, how could someone not look at me and make comments and just generally be disgusted. I made my first lap, and as I was closing in on the ball field the second time, I started thinking that I would just go walk somewhere else. I was getting all nervous and anxious thinking about walking past them, and I had made up my mind to just go walk somewhere else. As I got to the corner where I would either turn toward the ballfield or go off in another direction, I decided that I can't let what other people may (or may not) be thinking about me stop me from doing what is best for me. So I turned, walked past the ball field, finished that lap, and then did another! None of those people gave a crap about what I was doing or what I looked like doing it. If I hadn't turned at that corner, I may have let my self-consciousness keep me from exercising again in the future. But actually doing what I was afraid to do made me realize that I can push myself and do things that I'm not really comfortable with and they will turn out okay. I know it may sound lame to some, but this was truly a victory to me.
I am often the heaviest person at the gym but I have had to teach myself not to care what other people think. I do get very self conscious at times but I try to always remember that I am there for me and no one else.
05/16/10 -20 made it 02/24/10
10/19/10 -40 made it 07/31/10
12/25/10 -50 made it 10/04/10
04/24/11 -70 made it 04/28/11
10/19/11 -90 made it 05/14/12
10/19/12 -100 made it 10/11/12
Long Term Weigh Ins
11/28/11 185.5 1/29/12 181 3/29/12 177 5/29/12 172 7/29/12 170 9/29/12 164 11/29/12 166.5 1/28/13 164 3/29/13 161.5
This is a big NSV, overcoming that sinking feeling about your weight and doing something healthful and good for you. Not only that but refusing to let's others ' opinions or what we imagine to be their opinions guide you. Good for you!
__________________ Onederland: 12/24/2009, Class I Obesity (197): 1/16/2010, Overweight BMI (169): 8/28/2010, Normal BMI (135): ??,
10% of start weight lost (193.5): 2/02/2010, 20% (172): 7/25/2010, 25% (161.25): 11/26/2010, 30% (150.5): ??, 40% (128.5): ??
Good for you for getting past the physical AND the mental hurdles!
As I lose weight, it's becoming easier to get past the paranoia that everyone is looking at me and thinking things about me. I think most people are so wrapped up in their own thing that they give others at most a passing glance or thought.
Thanks for all the support. It was actually a pretty good thing that this got bumped with the comments, because I was sitting here after a cruddy day in which I was tired, kids were being terrors, nothing was going as planned, plus the hormonal roller coaster of TTOM, and I was contemplating eating some chocolate or drinking a glass of soda, something nice and sweet to take the edge off my stress. Then I saw my post, read all the comments, and reread what I wrote. I reread my last line about pushing myself to do things I'm not comfortable with and they will turn out okay, and I decided to apply it to my cravings. I'm going to push myself to resist those cravings, and even though it's not how I usually deal with my stress, I will get through it and it will turn out okay. Now I think I need to get moving to dissipate this stress! Thanks for the kind words!
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy.