I've hesitated for a couple of days about whether to post or not because I'm mainly venting about feeling overwhelmed and panicky right now.
DD's school finishes for the summer holidays tomorrow for just over 6 weeks.
I began this journey on the 27th July last year so was only just easing myself into it during the school holidays, and really started to increase the workouts etc after.
Currently I go to the gym Mon-Fri while DD is at school and get my workouts done, then I sometimes go one day on a weekend depending on what we have planned. I find it easy to stick with my eating plan during the week when DD and hubby are both at school and work, but weekends are much harder because when I see them eating some things it's very tempting at times.
During the 6 weeks break we are also going away for two separate weeks in our caravan, the first one being this coming weekend.
SO, by Friday I need to have all my usual jobs done at home, my usual workouts, shopping and packing our caravan for a week away. I feel totally overwhelmed, like I've got so much to do and don't know how I'm going to get it all done. I can't say anything to hubby because I know he would say that I should miss a couple of gym sessions if I don't feel I have time for the other things, and that is NOT going to happen lol. So I'm just keeping my mouth shut, gritting my teeth and trying to stay calm although right now I feel totally overwhelmed.
But that leads me onto the panic I'm feeling. I am so used to going to the gym at least 5 days a week for at least 45mins, how am I going to cope over the next six weeks when I can't do that? I have the two weeks when we are away when I obviously won't be able to go to the gym at all which is freaking me out lol! I love going to the gym, some days are harder than others, but I feel so strong after my workouts and I get antsy when I don't go for some reason... I'm taking all my running kit on holiday with me and having researched the area we are going to for our first week it seems that, weather permitting, it should be good for me to go for a run every couple of days at least to keep me from going stir crazy. I'm also going to research the area for our second week and see how promising that is. Then there are about 10 days when DD is going away with MIL or my mum so I'm planning on having some mammoth gym sessions then. But the other two weeks hubby is going to be working and I've no childcare so I won't be able to go to the gym at all, unless I can go on a night once hubby is home and DD is in bed. I do have various exercise dvd's and the wii fit which I could do if I can convince DD to play in her bedroom for a little while, but I'm never motivated to do them on my own which is why I joined the gym in the first place. Plus I want to be able to do things with DD on those days.
And as for healthy eating, how can I stay focused for the next six weeks with two weeks holiday and the other weeks my routine being totally shot to bits?! I've thought about just trying to maintain my weight during this period, but I really don't want to do that. I still have almost 21lbs to go to my initial goal weight and I need to keep the momentum going if I'm going to get to goal before the end of the year which is my aim. It's like I have an angel and a devil in my head at the moment. The angel is saying, just treat it like normal, find some way to exercise everyday, eat on plan, just have your treat on a Friday night as normal, or change that to another day if necessary, but no more than one treat. Then the devil is saying, you're going on holiday for goodness sake, have a good time, you deserve a few treats and hubby and DD will think you're being a martyr if you say no to all the treats they're having, and as for the exercise, you deserve a rest!!!
See my problem? I'm just so scared that I'm going to lose control this first week we're away, and then not be able to get back on plan because of my lack of routine til DD goes back to school, and by that time I'll have piled the weight on.
I keep trying to ask myself "what do I want most" and in this moment I love feeling slim and wearing my new UK14 clothes more than any food, but then it gets so that hubby and DD are eating one of my favourite treats and I'm suddenly thinking "you can get back on plan tomorrow" and you know where that leads.... I really feel that I need to work through this somehow in my head before the weekend or I could be in trouble. I also need to get my head around dealing with holidays and changes in routine for when I eventually get to maintenance.