I wasn't going to weigh myself. But i'm up 8 pounds just this week. I'm surprised it wasn't more like 15 tbh. I guess thee was a few days of dieting in there. Back to where I was a few months ago in one fatal week. Very depressing. Anyway I need some time to myself. I am extremely depressed and going through something tramatic right now. When I get over this mourning and crying maybe I'll hop on. My liver is already back to hurting and I just feel yucky and nauseas and back to constipation and painful anal fissures so back to chugging my miralax. My tummy is so dang sensitive. I don't know why I felt like posting this. Punishing myself perhaps. Maybe I can get back on the wagon through my depression. We'll see. So embarrasing. Dh just told his mom i lost 30 pounds and now I've already gained a third back. I feel like a loser but right now I wanna crawl into a hole too much to go on. Hey, maybe I will only feel like this for a few days. The thought of it taking a few months to lose this weight i gained in two weeks is not very... motivating.
I'm very sorry you aren't feeling well. It's especially hard when you feel crummy both physicially and emotionally.
But just some things I noticed from your post. The gain notwithstanding you lost 30 pounds and were able to stick to something for several weeks!! I've NEVER been able to do that yet. That's great! If you did it once it stands to reason you can do it again doesn't it? And then do it more and do it better no?
I also don't think you are exactly where you were months ago- you are still a net of 22 lbs down and you have the experience of losing the first 30lb under your belt which must be a tremendous releif to a body that seems to be having such a hard time.
It' also looks like you have a husband who is proud of your success. That's also awesome.
I do think you can get back on the wagon through your depression and maybe getting back on the wagon will help alleviate it some. I've done what seemed like really unbearably hard things when my life was a mess and my heart was breaking i.e I had to apply to colleges and get through senior year of high school when my mother and I were homeless. It was VERY hard to be motivated then but I had to do it or my future would have been even bleeker than my present. Getting through school meant I have a much easier time financially now than I did a few years agao- even in these hard hard times. I was never sorry I did it though it did seem pointless and hopeless when I was wiping tears off of textbook pages.
Will losing weight make your future better or worse?
I hope you didn't come here for punishment- I hope you came for help and I hope you get it if what I said wasn't helpful.
I binge eat, so I have gained that much weight in only a few days. It's depressing. But the cool thing also is that if you clean up the eating, that weight will disappear pretty quick, too. Don't give up because you had one back week! Please! You'll only feel worse. You have still lost 22 pounds!!! That is AWESOME!
We can't be perfect. It's like we wait until one little slip up, and then there is our evidence that we are failures. But the truth is that you were successful for all that time. Don't choose failure now.
One other thing. I notice you mentioned tummy troubles. It might be worth looking into whether you have a sensitivity to gluten. It can cause the types of problems you are describing, and the sensitivity has been linked to gluten.