I have found that sticking to my plan is much easier when I don't let the rest of the world in. In the safety of my home, I don't have food that is "bad" for me. I don't have picnics that have giant buffets of wonderfully destructive food. I don't have fast food restaurants to turn to for a quick bite while out for the day. I don't have the temptation of family and friends offering me foods that I shouldn't eat. I love being at home because here, I know I can stay on track. Out in the real world, I have a tendancy to lose control. I hate that. I need to change it, but don't quite know how. How does everyone else deal with the real world, and all it has to offer?
It can be rough, but I've found that I need to ALWAYS have a plan.
BBQ? I ask if I can bring something, so that if nothing else, I have some amazing fruit salad/green salad/other veggie-based dish that I really love to fall back on. Then I can find a protein of some kind and know I'll be roughly on plan. And I look at what's available and choose ONE treat for myself (for example, I will sample a single dessert, or have a single serving of guacamole and chips), and when I'm done, will pop some gum in my mouth.
For fast food, I make sure I know of healthy options EVERYWHERE. That means I have several local restaurants where I can grab healthy foods (a local salad bar, Subway, and a restaurant that mixes salads with lean grilled meats to order are my favorites in my town), supermarket/convenience store options (Deli turkey plus package of sandwich thins plus a packet of mustard in my purse plus veggies from the salad bar = delicious sandwich from the store, even while I'm out). I also carry emergency snacks if I'm going to be out for a while, so I don't get to that desperate-hungry place where I need to eat something RIGHTTHISSECOND.
You need to practice strategies to turn down offers of food. Sometimes it can help to set firm rules in place - "I don't eat free food" or "I don't eat refined sugar". Then, just say NO. If people press, again, you're going to need some strategies...blaming your doctor is a good one ("Oh, my doctor wants me to cut out refined sugar, but I'd love to have some fruit salad!").
Yes, home is easier, but you can stay on plan EVERYWHERE. It just takes strategy and a bit of practice.
I've learned to bring my own food to a lot of things. My family BBQs a lot in the summertime, and I always bring my veggie burger, and have actually learned to enjoy them. Sure, I'd like a big juicy cheeseburger more, but it's all about finding ways to be able to be included in the social activities and staying on plan.
I also familurize myself with the calories, fat, and fiber of different things at different restaurants, so I know what I can and can not eat on any given day to remain on plan.
When I need to turn something down that I would love to be stuffing my face with, I ask myself one thing: Is this (insert yummy food here) really WORTH being fat over?
I have yet to find a food that the answer is "yes"... and when I think about the better ME that I'm TRYING to be, and for that moment, the only thing between the current me, and THAT me... is whatever is tempting me at the moment, it's pretty easy to pull strength from it.
If it is a family thing, my defense is to bring lots of my own food both to share and to have. Then I eat before going and I ignore the dishes that are inappropriate by eating my own.
If it is a restaurant, I want to know what the online nutrition is to help me choose.
It can be hard, but I view it as maintaining practice.
That sounds wonderful. I've always thought I would probably do better if I didn't live with a bunch of other people. People who bring home chips and ice cream and all kinds of tempting crap. I just have to tell myself, that is THEIR food, not mine.
As for going out, planning ahead is crucial! If you know what's going to be served you can make a plan; if not, you can offer to bring a salad with some protein on it.
Mandalinn's advice is fabulous, and I'd add one little detail: she's right about how you need to practice, and I would add that it's a good idea to practice OUT LOUD. Like literally say into the mirror "I'd like the grilled chicken breast with double veggies, no butter on the veggies please." Say it until it is a reflex.
Remember, too, that you CAN resist. All those times when you told yourself "I can't turn down X", that was your greedy inner child tricking you. She does that, because she likes cake. You can turn these things down, and every time you do, it gets easier.
Sometimes, honestly, I find it easier to just not eat. I'll order coffee when my friends order lunch, or at a BBQ I will stand on the opposite side of the yard from the food and if anyone asks if I want anything I will say "I'll get something later" or "I'm fine, thanks". (I practice these lines out loud as well!). My rule is "Never explain, never complain". People really don't care what you do as long as you don't make a big deal about it. If they really push you and you don't want to tell them you are dieting, imply you have severe "stomach trouble". NO ONE asks for details about diarrhea!
Yes, it's easier at home, less temptations, but I know I didn't lose all this weight just to sit at home. No, I lost it so I can be active and outgoing and socialize and LIVE.
Strategies and planning. I have strategies and plan ahead for every food event that comes my way.
If I'm out shopping or doing errands - I bring snacks with me. An apple, a bag of popcorn, a bag of string beans. If I'm out for longer periods of time, I take more food. It's like bringing home with you. I never want to be in a situation where I'm hungry and have to succumb to the donut or bagel shop or a candy bar. NEVER. NEVER.
DEFINITE NO'S. Set limits. Make your choices narrower. Decide ahead of time what you will DEFINITELY stay away from - no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. Desserts, fried or saucy foods. Bread, etc. Decide what you WILL have. Veggies, grilled chicken or fish, barely dressed salad, fruit, lots of water, some diet soft drinks. Make that decision ahead of time. STICK TO YOUR GUNS. Don't make it an option TO eat it.
Stay accountable. Count your calories. Write everything that goes down your throat. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And for sure you have the power to say no to food. You've got to keep in mind what you want the most - to BE a health minded person who cares what she puts into her body, or a few minutes of pleasure which has awful side affects and isn't all that pleasurable.
You will get used to eating well - everywhere in every situation. It eventually becomes automatic, second nature - if you allow it to. Start now.
Oooh, one more thing - I urge you not to feel deprived when turning down high calorie foods, but feel deprived by EATING them. The deprivation is in eating them, remaining overweight and not being the optimal you.
Eating well, regardless of the circumstances, is no prison sentence. It is the key to freedom.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 07-08-2010 at 11:01 AM.
boy, you've already gotten great advice. even home can have it's food traps, so it really is something that has to be dealt with brain wise. I'll add that this is something I still am working on too.
one thing the responsible adult in me has come to acknowledge, there usually almost always is a healthy, better option. there really isn't an excuse to splurge calorie wise, even at picnics and buffets: lean meats, salads, fruit.
all of that good stuff is still going to be there, in abundance, AFTER I've gotten rid of these excess pounds, and I can manage treats in moderation if I so choose to. It's not a deprivation, it's a new management system. You definitely are not alone with this challenge, believe me. Peope of all sizes have to deal with it.
One of my triggers is my "other mother" Roses house. She has TONS of yummies all the time of my favorite variety. As a matter of fact I am going there this afternoon for a pool date... and I am taking a container full of raw veggies and a source yogurt. And tons of cold water. Because that is what I have PLANNED to eat so that is what I WILL EAT.
I understand what you are saying. For me it is not the the safety of my home so much as the safety of my routine. Everything goes great while I can stay within my daily routine. Diet and exercise is even easy. I struggle when I am off my routine.