My problem with losing weight for a specific future event is two fold. One, if you don't make it, not only do you feel horrible being fat which is bad enough, you've also added a feeling of "failure" to your list. If you set a goal to lose weight for a trip, a wedding, a dance, etc., you WILL remember that you meant to lose weight whether or not you actually do so it's a bad set up.
I gave myself a one year deadline, but not for any event or function and not with any goal weight in mind. I wanted to see where I'd be if for one year I could be on plan every day without any excuses. My biggest problem was giving up when the scale did not cooperate. I've had my fair share of days where the scale did not match my effort!! But it didn't matter because I had committed to this for one year. It's been eight months for me now and I've lost 62 pounds. That's double every past weight loss attempt I've ever had. And when that year mark rolls around, there's no looking back because I've developed habits and it's no longer hard. I've been sailing through this riding on the wings of habit for the past three of the eight months. There is a long initiation phase, but it passes.
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Originally Posted by ubergirl
It's true....! It seems like what is hard is 1) getting started and 2) persevering through the first few weeks when you feel the sacrifice more than the reward.
Because it doesn't take long before the rewards start to outweigh the sacrifices, and from that point on it's relatively easy.
This!! But I'd personally extend the "persevering" part past a few weeks. I had to persevere for about five months before my mind caught up with reality. I wanted weight loss to be fast and it has taken a LONG time to come to peace with the fact that I do not lose weight fast and that losing inches IS better than losing pounds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hpnodat
What happened is, I have an all or nothing mindset, I give up to easily, I feel deprived, I want an easier softer way, I'm a big baby, I have OCD & ADD, I hate healthy food, I hate drinking water, I hate exercise, I want to do nothing and watch myself miraculously lose weight.
Yeah, I know. Whine a little more. I could supply a whole city with the amount of pity I have.
I just need to (wo)man up, put all those feelings aside, rub some dirt on it and just do it. I know how to do it.
From your post, I highlighted that which fits me!! All or nothing mindset, heck yeah!! That's why I had to give myself a commitment of one year. I am all in for one year. Use that all or nothing mentality to your benefit! Giving up easily? Yes and no. I'm no quitter, except in the face of the scale. So I started weighing daily so I could get a grip on the reality of scale fluctuation. This has helped me cope tremendously. Feeling deprived? We all do...at first. That's a hurdle you just have to get over. You'll find most, if not all, maintainers do not feel deprived anymore at least in part because living just feels so much better. I can give up dessert every night for the feeling of fitting through a turnstile at the amusement park. And I can still have dessert...I just have to plan for it. Wanting an easier way? Yeah...we all do. But is being fat easy? No way!! Trust me...really trust me...dieting is way easier than being fat. Hate water? Others can help with that. I always liked water and have come to love water. I was a big soda addict and haven't had more than 3 sips on 3 separate occasions in eight months. Hating exercise? Yep, I did too! But then I started to see that I fitness goals were within my control. I could not control the scale. I could not set and meet a goal to lose 10 pounds in 10 months but I could darn well set and exceed a goal to run a 5K in a month, or whatever. I can increase the weights I lift every week. I can do 20 push-ups in one set and I can do THREE sets of those whereas as at the beginning I couldn't do even one with proper form. I am constantly amazed at how good fitness feels.
I totally understand how badly you felt on your trip. I have been in that situation too. But, I've learned that we can NEVER stop trying again- if that's what we need to do. Really - you must keep trying because it could be the time that really is for the long term.
It's time to forgive yourself, figure out what food/lifestyle plan you'd like to do (it can tweek as you go along) and start to plan, plan and plan some more.
I agree with what Eliana said up thread, especially the part about, "I'm no quitter, except when faced with the scale. That is SO TRUE for me too.
I had worried and fretted and agonized about weight loss for YEARS but I had never really figured out how to do it.
And the MAIN thing I had not figured out was that it is normal and inevitable for the scale to bounce up and down, sometimes rather a lot.
In past weight loss attempts, I really never had a sense of control. I tried to follow "a plan" but usually the plan was a little vague in my mind. Sometimes I was doing well and the scale either didn't budge or went (gasp) up, and so what did I do? I cried. Then I told myself I'd always be fat so why bother. And then, I binged. And then, I told myself that I really couldn't help myself and I might as well not even try because dieting "made me binge..." Of course, that pretty much ignored the fact that I was morbidly obese because I ate too much ALL the time, I just noticed it more and felt more guilty about it when I was doing it after abandoning a weight loss attempt.
So, what helped me this time, was two things.
One: I track my calories every day. That way, if the scale doesn't move, and I start to panic, I can tell myself, at least the rational part of my brain, that there is no way the gain is "real"... and I should just wait it out.
Two: I relied HEAVILY on 3FC. Each time I started to panic I posted an annoying and whiny thread here. Each time, the wise citizens of 3FC jumped in, gave me tips and pointers, calmed my frayed nerves, and told me to keep going.
A two to three week stall, where your weight bounces up down up down up down is enough to send anyone to a mental asylum. But this time, I learned to stick with it anyway.
The hard thing about weight loss is that you constantly weighing getting pleasure now versus a possible long-term reward. It's like putting money in the bank versus buying that new thing you really want.
Now, if over the course of years and years every time you've put money in the bank, a couple of weeks later the bank closed and you lost the money, you might be less inclined to put stuff in the bank.
And that's how it is with weight loss. Most of us have a history of failure and for the first weeks, or even months, we're just not sure it's going to work.
In a way, it's rational.
But it WILL work if you work it. So post often share your fears and read the success stories over and over.
A year from now, you will be posting an entire different kind of "one year ago" thread.
I think one of the biggest problems is that people (I was surely one of them for decades) think that adhering to a healthy lifestyle - eating well - is some kind of miserable thing. But it's not. It's not!!! You must look for the joy in this - not the dread. You must focus on what you are GAINING - not giving up. Fairly quickly into my journey I fell in love with eating right. It turned out to be a joy, not the burden I always feared.
It's a matter of working past that initial, temporary discomfort stage as your old eating habits die down and you incorporate the new healthy ones. That is the most difficult stage. But you MUST push through it. You must, you must, you must. It is the only way. You've just got to suck it up and do it. You have to hang on till you get to that sweet spot - of the old habits dying down and the new habits taking over. And they do. They do! This new healthy lifestyle eventually becomes automatic, second nature - and yes - enjoyable. But you must allow it to, working past that initial discomfort.
Doing what is necessary to get to and to remain slim, trim, fit, active and healthy is nothing to fear or loathe - STAYING OVERWEIGHT IS. There is no deprivation in passing up high calorie/high quantity food - eating it is.
Eating well is no prison sentence - it is your ticket to freedom, that will open up doors for you didn't even know were closed.
I think one of the biggest problems is that people (I was surely one of them for decades) think that adhering to a healthy lifestyle - eating well - is some kind of miserable thing. But it's not. It's not!!! You must look for the joy in this - not the dread. You must focus on what you are GAINING - not giving up. Fairly quickly into my journey I fell in love with eating right. It turned out to be a joy, not the burden I always feared.
It's a matter of working past that initial, temporary discomfort stage as your old eating habits die down and you incorporate the new healthy ones. That is the most difficult stage. But you MUST push through it. You must, you must, you must. It is the only way. You've just got to suck it up and do it. You have to hang on till you get to that sweet spot - of the old habits dying down and the new habits taking over. And they do. They do! This new healthy lifestyle eventually becomes automatic, second nature - and yes - enjoyable. But you must allow it to, working past that initial discomfort.
Doing what is necessary to get to and to remain slim, trim, fit, active and healthy is nothing to fear or loathe - STAYING OVERWEIGHT IS. There is no deprivation in passing up high calorie/high quantity food - eating it is.
Eating well is no prison sentence - it is your ticket to freedom, that will open up doors for you didn't even know were closed.
Totally agree with this.
Too many times I see people refer to greasy, high fat, sugary foods as "good". They are not good in my book and though I have a something that may fall in that category from time to time, normally a planned one, I enjoy healthy foods way way better now and definitely enjoy being healthier.
Last edited by Onederchic; 07-10-2010 at 05:32 PM.
That's double every past weight loss attempt I've ever had. And when that year mark rolls around, there's no looking back because I've developed habits and it's no longer hard. I've been sailing through this riding on the wings of habit for the past three of the eight months. There is a long initiation phase, but it passes.
