I think I'm finally ready to truly being a journey to wellness. I've always struggled with my weight, losing chunks of weight and then slowly gaining them back. I've been over 200 lbs for over 10 years (since I was 23; I'm now 35) and seem to lose/gain the same 40-50 lbs. over and over.
I have had a challenging year, losing our baby girl at 23 weeks in April 2009, then becoming pregnant and giving birth to our son 10 weeks early this January. I was overweight (250) going into my first pregnancy with my daughter and overweight going into my pregnancy with my son (255). Though I lost weight between pregnancies, I became pregnant quickly. With the stress of having a baby in the NICU (for 50 days) and then becoming a first-time mom (and also still mourning the loss of our daughter), I turned to food (as I usually do).
Though I began working out soon after giving birth, coupled with the emotional eating, I've essentially maintained my "pregnancy" weight (around 265-270). I have continued to exercise consistently, doing fairly intense workouts (elliptical sprint intervals, Jillian Michaels DVDs, Turbo Jam), but have not changed my eating habits. In the last week, I've started to notice soreness in places I haven't had before. At first I thought this was due to the exercise, but now I believe it's due to the weight. It's like it has finally caught up with me. My shins hurt, my feet/ankles hurt when I first get up in the morning...my knees are starting to hurt. I can't believe it! I cannot be this person! I am not this person!
Though I have struggled with my weight and have been a plus-size person for a decade, I have always worked out and have maintained a solid level of fitness. I prove the rule that you cannot lose weight by exercise alone. In addition, I've noticed changes in my body that make me believe that my body will have a tough time bouncing back like it has in the past. I'm sure this has something to do with back-to-back pregnancies, but areas that I previously thought looked o.k., I now want to cover up (e.g., thighs, arms, etc.),.
Change has to happen. I know that. I just need to take the first step. Thanks for letting me share.
Welcome to 3FC! This is a great place to find support, answers to questions, and a great reminder that you are not alone! I am so sorry about your loss. (((((((HUGS)))))))
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. Congrats on your son, I had a baby girl in January, although she was due in January and not early (actually she was 2 weeks late!). I can't imagine having a baby in the NICU especially after what you've been through...hugs.
It sounds like you're doing great with exercise, so way to go!! A lot of your post resonates with me, I am 32 now and I have been overweight (ok, obese) for well over a decade as well. Like you, I feel like the weight is also catching up with me. I felt like up until the past couple of years, I could still do most everything, I wasn't sore, I felt good....that's changing. I don't want to be that person either. And I want to be able to play with and chase after my kids, without issue.
Anyhow welcome again!!
Last edited by sept15lija; 06-25-2010 at 09:54 AM.
Our now ten year old was in the NICU for five days. I can only imagine what you've been through. Not easy!
You're right about not being able to lose it through exercise alone, I think. My two best friends disagree. They both want to lose it that way. One of them is successful at it, but it isn't fast at all. She was losing about a pound a month and often just maintaining. She ended up adding in some calorie counting and now things are moving. I've heard weight loss is 80% diet and 20% diet and that seems true for me.
That's not to discount exercise though! It does wonders for toning and training for life. For the first time in years I'm looking forward to going to fireworks tonight! It's a long treck out to where we want to be lugging junk and kids and then a long treck back. And in the past I've found my spot, sunk into it, and did not move for the six hours we were there. (It's a major event) This year, I'm looking forward to getting there and staying active with the kids!
You are in the right place. I know how hard it is... and I am so sorry for your loss. After my pregnancy losses I too had the NICU experience with a very sick, 2 1/2lb baby and I gained a LOT of weight through that. That's when I hit 278 pounds. So I get it. But you are doing the right thing by taking care of YOU now, because your little one needs you to be healthy! Welcome to the forum and I wish you the best on your journey to better health!
You DON'T have to make any changes you hate. That attitude "God, I don't want to do this, it sucks so badly, but I HAVE TO" held me back for years and years. There are healthy ways to live--ways that will take the pounds off at a nice steady pace--that are not painful. There are more choices than either being morbidly obese or being miserable with your lifestyle.
I'm sorry for your loss. You have surely come to the right place. I have been coming in here for the past two weeks and I am so ready to get my life in order. I don't post much but I spend a ton of time reading through the stories. There are so many brave women in this board that have accomplished what we want to get.
This has to be it...I have to make changes
