I've been having back pain (sometimes very intense) for a while now and I finally got sent for an MRI. I talked to my doctor and it's worse than I thought. I have three disks that are herniated, spinal stenosis AND the vertebrae was so inflamed they thought it was infected! Oh, geez.
I've been to Physical therapy but that didn't really help. My next move is an epidural but the doctor thinks I will eventually need a laminectomy or even a lumbar fusion. I started crying in his office when he told me. A big part of this emotional pain is due to my guilt over not being in shape and making my back worse with bad posture, way too much weight. Even tho' I know I couldn't have totally prevented everything going on I'm still feeling so much guilt and shame over this.
Another thing: I am always in pain and it's making me crazy. I can't take care of the house and it looks that way. DH works hard at work and has to come home and take care of what I should have but can't. I'm also looking for work and I am just scared that even if I find a job I won't be able to sit for 8 hours a day! I just got through the 2nd interview for a job I would really like to take but I'm just thinking "what if I start and I can't handle it?" My self-esteem is soooo low right now. I feel so worthless.
I'm doing okay with staying on plan with my food. If I kept up with my bad food habits I'm sure I'd even be in more pain. If I could exercise it would help my mood and fitness but I can do very, very little (like walking) - any tiny overdoing it causes major amounts of pain.
Sorry for the vent. I'm just scared because I really didn't know how actually injured my back was. Anyone else with back problems or chronic pain and still trying to get fit? I sure hope it's possible!