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Some things we are doing RIGHT this time...

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Old 05-14-2010, 10:26 AM   #1
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Default Some things we are doing RIGHT this time...

I'm so happy about hitting the 90 lb mark and closing in on onederland that I started thinking about some of the things I've done right this time... at the same time, sort of scratching my head and wondering why it took me twenty years to figure it out.

So, here are some things I've done right this time.

1. I appreciate my body. Let's face it. At age 48, I'm not imagining any Victoria's Secret models in my head. I'm not competing for guys. I'm not fantasizing about wearing amazing sexy outfits in size 0 or 2. I feel lucky that I've made it to this age with no major health problems, and I'm frankly amazed that it has been easier than I expected to regain a lot of fitness. When I was younger, I really didn't appreciate my body-- I focused a lot on flaws and had unrealistic expectations. Now, I really just want to be normal-- being normal is a lot easier to achieve than being perfect.

2. I take the long view. When I was younger, I was not especially good at being patient and setting long term goals. When I was younger, I would have had a hard time thinking about sticking to a plan for a whole year and still having a BMI of 31. I was a lot more black and white about it. I didn't realize that every pound lost is good. Again, the perfection thing-- better is good. Perfect is not necessary.

3. My plan does not require a lot of thought or a lot of planning. I'm not a planner in any area of my life, so I do best with a plan that I don't have to think about much. I eat a variety of foods, but it's pretty limited-- toast with peanut butter and banana in the morning, protein and veggie for lunch and dinner, I have a few single serving items: low-fat cheese stick, yogurt, cottage cheese, apple, that I eat for snacks. I shake it up sometimes, but not that often. I like it because it feels flexible so it doesn't kick up my old binge behaviors, and it's easy to follow, I don't have to think about it too much. Thinking about it, for me, leads to obsessing about it, which leads to feeling restricted, which in the past, led to bingeing.

4. I practiced positive self-talk until it became a habit! This might be the most important one of all. Gone is the whole "you're fat, you're a failure, you can't do this..." I replaced that script with a much more positive one. And if I feel myself getting out of line, I call up the voices here, and remind myself the things that people here say. It gets me through.

5. I bought new clothes on the way down. Every time I went down a size, I felt good about it and told myself I looked skinny-- I celebrated when my 24s got loose, I celebrated when I got into a 20. I celebrated getting into the 280s, and the 270s, just as much as getting into the teens and zeroes.

So, I'm not there yet, but I'm really happy with where I am now, and just anticipate it getting better.

How about you guys? What have you done differently this time?
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End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014

Last edited by ubergirl : 05-14-2010 at 10:27 AM.
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Old 05-14-2010, 10:41 AM   #2
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One thing I'm doing differently is not "dieting." I've done Weight Watchers, South Beach, Metabolic Medical Center, Slim Fast, and more. I've lost with each of them, and I've gained when I stopped them.

My mentality up to this point has been, I'm either dieting or I'm not. So if I was on a specific diet, I would be very strict with myself and I would lose. Then as soon as I was "off" the diet, I would eat anything and everything and I would gain it all back.

This is especially bad with any diets that include special meal replacements. Because when I wasn't on the meal replacement, I didn't know how to eat!

So this time, I am not dieting at all. No food is off limits to me. I just wake up every day trying to make healthy choices. I try to eat according to what my body needs. If I have a piece of cake one day, no big deal. I just don't make a habit of it. And I exercise a little more that day.

I am also blogging about my weight loss journey for the first time. I have really enjoyed it (even though I don't have any blog readers yet! ha!) I look forward to getting followers and having people post uplifting and motivating comments for me on my journey.
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Old 05-14-2010, 11:03 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by ubergirl View Post

5. I bought new clothes on the way down. Every time I went down a size, I felt good about it and told myself I looked skinny-- I celebrated when my 24s got loose, I celebrated when I got into a 20. I celebrated getting into the 280s, and the 270s, just as much as getting into the teens and zeroes.
I think this one has been a big contributor to my success this time. And it may not always be buying new clothes. I have been hitting thrift stores and consignment stores to have a few new pieces for each size I move into to.

The one thing I can add that is different for me this time is once something was too big I got rid of it. Every time I go to the thrift store to buy I also bring a bag to donate. I do not want "Fat" clothes waiting in my closet for me to fit back into.

Quote:
Originally Posted by My Body in Motion View Post
One thing I'm doing differently is not "dieting." I've done Weight Watchers, South Beach, Metabolic Medical Center, Slim Fast, and more. I've lost with each of them, and I've gained when I stopped them.

My mentality up to this point has been, I'm either dieting or I'm not. So if I was on a specific diet, I would be very strict with myself and I would lose. Then as soon as I was "off" the diet, I would eat anything and everything and I would gain it all back.

So this time, I am not dieting at all. No food is off limits to me. I just wake up every day trying to make healthy choices. I try to eat according to what my body needs. If I have a piece of cake one day, no big deal. I just don't make a habit of it. And I exercise a little more that day.
I also am not on a "diet" I totally get your mentality that previously you had always been on or off a diet. I have been telling people, I am not on a diet, I am being mindful of what I eat, and I may have a onion ring, or even put sourcream on my potato but I no longer let that sabotage me into thinking "it's over". I keep going, maybe add in some additional exercise but this is now my nutritional lifestyle.
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Mini-Goal - Lose 10% - 318
***Met 12/21/2009! ***
Mini-Goal is to be under 300 ***Met 2/8/2010! ***
Mini-Goal is to get to 261 ***Met 5/27/2010! ***
Mini-Goal is to have lost 100 lb's by July 1st! 253 ***Met 6/19/2010! ***
Mini-Goal is to be 239, out of the 240's! ***Met 8/20/2010! ***
Mini-Goal is to be 215, No longer Obese!


Running my first 5K 11/13/2010 - COMPLETED!
Running the Atlanta Peachtree 10K 7/4/2011 - COMPLETED!


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Old 05-14-2010, 11:21 AM   #4
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I like this thread! I am such a list person. I will probably come up with more but here is my list, in no particular order.
  • Accepted that I can not eat the way that I wanted and live the life that I wanted. Strangely, now I don't even want to eat the way that I did before.
  • Patience - I accept that losing this weight will take some time.
  • Accepted that I will always have to count something and keep a written record of what I eat.
  • Accepted my weaknesses and then found a work-around so that I can still succeed.
  • Decided that I don't have to accommodate everyone else. I can say "No thank you, I can't eat that." or take my own food to celebrations. That kind of thing.
  • Recognize that the scale is not the only measure of success.
  • Made lists - things that I was missing because of my weight, things I looked forward to, things that I am enjoying now that I could not do before, and many more.
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Old 05-14-2010, 11:22 AM   #5
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I agree 100% with the "I am not on a diet" mentality. Nothing is off limits to me, I just chose not to eat it (or when I do... it is a rare treat ... as it should be!!!!!!) I am now eating a normal sized portion with real food (as often as possible). I cook, I do not rely on anyone else to keep me on track... I don't feel I need that anymore.

I also have very real expectations. I want to be healthy not hottie. I am realistic in the fact that even after I get to goal, the chances of me getting into a bikini are not good... I will have lots of extra skin and stretchmarks I will not want to show the world, but I will be healthy. My son will have a mom who can go outside and run around with him.

I also decided exercise was not an option. I wouldn't give brushing my teeth or taking a shower as an option for myself... why would I give exercise. It is part of my day now. When I watch TV I do it while I am running on the elliptical, same amount of time spent... just killing 2 birds!

I am realistic about what I can and can't live with. I rush like a mad woman in the morning... cooking breakfast isn't going to happen and if I eat too many carbs in the morning I will be ravenous all day... so I keep microwavable light breakfast sandwiches on hand for during the week. I keep WW microwavable meals in the freezer so that is an option if I am running short of time or don't have left overs from the night before. I pack up 2-3 days worth of salad stuff in baggies at a time and keep fresh fruit in the house as a snack option. I have taken the guess work out of my food. I know that I would have to go completely crazy overeating to go over my calories for the day with what I keep in the house.
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Old 05-14-2010, 11:32 AM   #6
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I don't know if I'm allowed to post here, but here goes:

-I log each and every thing I eat. It forces me to be honest about what I eat.
-I'm not setting limits for myself. Nothing is off limits. If I do indulge, it'll be a rare treat. I read on here about cheat days, and I think I should look into that.
-I exercise every night. Whether it's biking or walking, I'm moving my ***.
-I got rid of all my fat clothes. I've lost 89 pounds (109 total over my weight loss journey!) and I don't want to fit back into them.
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Old 05-14-2010, 11:38 AM   #7
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The things I have done right/different this time.
1. I'm not following a "diet". I realised what had caused all the weight gain, and in turn realised what I needed to do to lose it, eat less, eat healthier. Nothing is forbidden, but I've learned about balance, and that's the nature of my life now, balancing the good and bad.
2. I exercise like a demon now and get withdrawal sympoms when I don't lol. I've lost weight lots of times before but very rarely exercised as well. This has helped speed up the weight loss, toned my body as I've gone along, and made me feel SO strong and proud of myself, like I never have before. It's also given me something to focus on rather than just the number on the scale.
3. I've learned to love myself. When I started this journey I really didn't like me or my life. I knew I needed to make drastic changes and I have, and I've congratulated myself every step of the way. I have done this myself, no-one else has done it for me, I deserve every ounce of credit. For the first time in many years I've put myself first and I now love myself and am a better wife and mother as a result.
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Old 05-14-2010, 11:45 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by time2lose View Post
I like this thread!
Me too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ubergirl View Post

Now, I really just want to be normal-- being normal is a lot easier to achieve than being perfect.
This is my favorite part! This has had to be my biggest mind shift. I don't have to get to my goal of 135 to be successful. I am a success even when I stall.

Quote:
I take the long view.
This I'm not yet so good at. Patience has had to be a part of my success, but I have to remind myself to have patience daily. I got around that by committing to this for one year. I don't need to have patience to stick with this for a year.

Quote:
My plan does not require a lot of thought or a lot of planning. I'm not a planner in any area of my life, so I do best with a plan that I don't have to think about much.
I've had to keep my plan simple as well. I'm fairly automated now and "protein and veggie" is what I live by as well. Simple.

***********

My biggest mind shift has been the patience thing. I've had to learn that this takes time and that the weight is NOT going to come off in my time frame no matter how much effort I put in. The number one key factor to my success has been that year commitment I made to myself. Period.
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Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
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Old 05-14-2010, 12:06 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by My Body in Motion View Post
One thing I'm doing differently is not "dieting." I've done Weight Watchers, South Beach, Metabolic Medical Center, Slim Fast, and more. I've lost with each of them, and I've gained when I stopped them.

My mentality up to this point has been, I'm either dieting or I'm not. So if I was on a specific diet, I would be very strict with myself and I would lose. Then as soon as I was "off" the diet, I would eat anything and everything and I would gain it all back.

So this time, I am not dieting at all. No food is off limits to me. I just wake up every day trying to make healthy choices. I try to eat according to what my body needs. If I have a piece of cake one day, no big deal. I just don't make a habit of it. And I exercise a little more that day.
I have written pretty much this exact thing several times. This has been the biggest change for me - I am not on a diet, I have changed my life, including the type and portions of the food I eat. But I'm not perfect so I don't make perfect choices every single time. However, since I'm not on a diet, I can't fall off!! I just make the decision to make a better choice the next time.

The other major thing for me is sustainability - this isn't solely about weight loss, so I'm not doing things just to lose weight. I'm finding ways to change my life - to eat a wider variety of nutritious foods and to incorporate more activity in my days, through both formal exercise but also through increasing incidental movement.

I am building good habits to last the rest of my life, and whatever happens on the scale, these habits are making me healthier and happier.
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Old 05-14-2010, 12:37 PM   #10
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This is a great thread. I have only lost 8.8 pounds so far, but I too am doing it differently this time around.

I accept that I need to weigh and measure until I am *perfect* at eyeballing.

I accept that I need to log what I eat and count calories, lest I deceive myself about what I am really eating.

I accept that exercise will have to become a part of my lifestyle.

I accept that I can't eat large quantities of food anymore and I don't want to.

My goal also is for health, not hotness. I am 38 and married and while I do want to be *hot* for my husband I know that he already loves me and isn't with me for how thin I am. I too want to run around the yard or the park with my youngest son. I'd love to be able to go hiking with my 14 yo without getting winded or tired. I would like to feel good in a bathing suit when we get together with other families at the pool. I want to buy new clothes, but also want to wear the awesome jeans hanging in my closet.

I decided while hanging laundry yesterday that I am also going to get rid of the fat clothes. I kept my thin clothes because I want to wear them again, but there is no reason to keep fat clothes since I don't want to wear them.
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First Mini Goal: 240 - CHECK

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Third Mini Goal: Onederland 199

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Old 05-14-2010, 01:19 PM   #11
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Loved your message!

Differently for me was really a mind set. Changing my bad habits that I always knew were bad but didn't want to bother to change. Now it's a new life for me and a new way of life. I am not going to say all those bad things are gone but how I look at them and handle them are different.

Exercise - running - wow I love it - never thought that would be me! But guess what - it is and i am enjoying this new sense of me and what I can do with my body.
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Old 05-14-2010, 01:31 PM   #12
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What an awesome thread!

I, on the other hand, AM going for hotness...sorta . Really, I'm only 21 years old. I don't need to look like a Victoria's Secret model but I would like to look like an average 21 year old. I don't care how much weight I lose, I won't ever wear a bikini. But a cute-one piece that looks awesome on me? This I can do. And I'm sorry, but looking healthy and being happy...that is what is qualifying at "hot" in my mind atm.

This time, I'm making my own choices, cooking my own food and holding myself accountable. If there is junk food in the house, I can't blame my mother, father, brother or best friend...I must have bought it because no one is buying food for me. I know it may seem trivial, but it feels really empowering to know that every calorie i put into my mouth was a choice made by me. Maybe not the best choice, but its still mine. '

I'm also being really realistic about this whole thing. I can't be angry because I didn't wake up 100lbs thinner overnight. Three months of good habits won't compensate for years of poor ones. I have to think long-term, about how i want to feel when I'm 31, now next week.
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Old 05-14-2010, 01:56 PM   #13
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Hey DuckyYellow... nothing wrong with going for hotness. It's not like we 48 year olds have lost all our vanity either. I totally would like to be as hot as I am able....

But I know when I was younger I had really unrealistic expectations-- especially because I was pretty much a normal weight but HATED myself...

I wanted to be gorgeous and beat myself up that I wasn't. But now I realize I wasn't born gorgeous, just average. Now I can handle that.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and you will definitely meet your goal with that kind of attitude.
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Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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Old 05-14-2010, 02:00 PM   #14
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I LOVE this thread! WOW very inspirational!!!!!

1. I realize i NEED to keep moving, I NEED to exercise!
2. I need protein... I don't need HALF as much starches or milk like i used to ( i dont like them anyway :P)
3. I realize that I have money I can buy the groceries i need instead of accepting the "fat food" my family continues to buy.
4. I make my own food separate from people because i make what I NEED and have more control over it.
5. The scale doesnt always show your success.
6. I want to be hot, I want to look amazing for my DH *he thinks i am already, but i want to feel the same way he thinks of me*
7. Junk food doesnt taste that good. Pop, Chips taste kind of gross.
8. Instead of sitting in front of the tv.. i could be on my bike peddling! infront of the tv!!!
9. I realize too that I dont need the support of my family, I just need to support my self!

just a few little things i'm thankful i've either done or realized.
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Old 05-14-2010, 02:11 PM   #15
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1. I have a different attitude this time. This isn't a diet it is a lifestyle change. It is not something to do just to lose weight. I'm not going back to eating fast food, junk food, processed stuff when I reach a weight that I'm comfortable with.

2. I keep lots of healthy foods on hand and prepped ready to go for lunches, snacks, easy dinners.

3. I am not giving up or giving in when I stumble. I haven't quit just because I slipped and had McDonald's in a weak moment. All is not lost nor have I gained back 22 lbs just from one bad meal.

4. I'm being kind to myself. I am not "dieting" to punish myself. I have changed my lifestyle to add years to my life, a spring to my step and a healthful glow to my visage as a kindness to myself.

5. I am talking back to the 'mini-me' that lives in my head that used to spew negative things. "You are lazy" "you are fat" "you don't deserve to be healthy". I am my own best cheerleader.

6. Most importantly, I have made tiny infinitesimal changes this time instead of jumping in with a 1000 calorie a day diet/go to the gym 5 times a week. Baby steps work best for me. First I cut out fast food, then starting journaling, then found a level of calories that leaves me satisfied yet losing a very sane and do-able 5.25 lbs a month. As I lose weight and feel healthier I have increased my activity level and soon will be actually exercising!
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First Mini-Goal: Lose 10 lbs. Met 2/22/2010
Second Mini-Goal: 20 lbs. down Met 4/23/2010
Third Mini-Goal: Lost 10% body weight (27 lbs down) Met 9/13/2010
Fourth Mini-Goal: Lose 8 more lbs to = 40 lbs lost :
Back on track:9/5/2011 First goal: get back to 246
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