Quote:
Hee. There's a part of me that always thinks the Fat Police are going to show up and escort me off the premises, and back where I belong.
|
Imagining some dude wearing mirror-lensed sunglasses.
"Excuse me, ma'm. I'm with the Fat Police." [Flashes his badge, which has something like the Venus of Willdendorf embossed on it.] "One of those skinny little blonde teenagers behind the counter just made a distress call to 911. I've been requested to escort you off the premises for loitering without any intent to buy anything whatsoever. I mean, c'mon, nothing here fits you but the earrings. We're taking you into custody in the back of the squad car & bringing you over to Lane Bryant [or Pennington's], where you belong."
TraceyElaine: "Ah, dude. I know my rights. And clearly you can't see anything through those sunglasses when you're indoors, cause I fit into lots of stuff in this particular store. Look at me. This body is getting pretty sick. I am not shopping in Pennington's anymore."
Dude: "Well, then, would you like to have coffee with me at Starbucks sometime? Or Dunkin' Donuts? I am kind of into donuts."
TRaceyElaine: "I'm not. How do you think I got myself this body?"