Okay. I'm back up in the 260s. I had gotten down to in the low 230s late 09. What happened? Well, I starting eating myself into an emotional fog again and I'm certainly paying the price.
Mental note to myself: Self, you were doing well when you were posting and journaling everyday. hmmm . . .
It's Spring break and I'm stuck in bed. My back is out - again. I realize that thin folks can have bad backs but I'm very out of shape and my weight is hard for my weak muscles to haul around. I ended up in the Emergency two weeks ago. I could barely move and the pain was blinding. They pumped me full of pain meds (thank you!), took some xrays (some "degenerative" stuff going on - yes, I know. That's not the main problem), and the doctors asked me if I had considered losing some weight. I had to laugh at that (& it wasn't just the morphine!). Considered it? Yes. From every possible angle and intent. Done it? Over and over again.
I started physical therapy and I'm trying to stay away from the pain meds. I know how easy it is to get hooked because of back pain. Last night, I woke up about every 1/2 hour in a cold sweat. My back is spasming. My GERD is back and burning like a wild fire. My feet ache. I'm depressed. I'm obese.
My blood pressure is way up (this is totally new for me - NEVER has been high before). My life is passing me by because I'm stuck in a trap that I could have avoided - but didn't.
So many of us tried and succeed and backslide and fail and try again and . . . well, you know how it goes. What is it about the demon fat that makes him (her?) such a powerful foe? I don't want to get religious here but I'm positive that Satan is real and he's made of donut batter.
My thought is that when I don't pay attention, everything goes wrong. Weight creeps up. Exercise goes away. My home is a cluttered mess. Family and friends get neglected. All that I see is the next treat I'm going to eat.
Since I'm in bed anyway I have no excuse not to get back to keeping my food journal, my posting & reading here (which helps SO much). It puts my attention back where it belongs!
Here is my mini-goal. Every day this week I am going to log my food. I will weigh myself ONLY ONCE and log that. I will make getting healthy again a priority by NOT ignoring it!
It took a lot but I think I may have learned something!!!!!