This weekend we took a little trip to an herb farm/zoo. Well, they had this huge pond with ducks, geese, and swans, and paddle boats you could rent for only $1.00.
Of course my 7 year old daughter wanted to go on a paddle boat and I had to tell her I couldn't. First of all, I had no idea if there was a weight restriction. I also saw a man who was probably 75 pounds less than me with his little boy in a paddle boat. The man's side was way deeper in the water.
There was no way I was going to get one of those boats and capsize us or have my side of the boat practically underwater!
My daughter was sooooo disappointed and I don't blame her. She still doesn't know how to swim because I don't get in the water with her. How sad that she's missing out on fun things because I'm so heavy. And it's not just her that's missing out---I am too and I'm tired of it. (We do lots of fun things together too, it's just sad when there are enjoyable things we miss out on ONLY because of my weight and not anything like how much it costs).
So, I'm back at the gym working out and making better food choices. And definitely we're going back to that farm next summer and riding the paddle boats!!! I'm so tired of missing out and having my kids miss out because mommy weighs too much.
I try not to let myself miss out on anything... ( I try to miss out on dessert sometimes...lol, but usually, I even have that ) I'm fat, not dead... I go to the pool, in my swimsuit for all to see, and I swim... I go to the park, and swing on the swings, run the kids around on the Merry go round til I think I'm gonna blow...I dance, I run, I lay out in the sun, ain't no 200 or so extra pounds gon' hold ME down
Jinkies....... I know exactly how you feel and it is for that very reason that I am finally lossing the weight. I realized if I didn't do it I would leave this life without doing all the things I would like to do and miss enoying life to the fullest. I could do some of the things despite my weight but I would not enjoy it to the fullest nor feel comfortable in so many situtations. Not because of what others thought of me but because my pride in myself would not have been there. I know how I look to me what anyone else thinks is neither here nor there. I see myself and I always strive to put my best foot forward. That is just me and I think anyonre who does not have that type of self image deserves a lot of credit. I do not feel that freedom.
I'm not sure if in my first post I made it sound like I don't do anything. Actually I do go to the park with my kids--we play outside, go for walks, go to the library, go to amusement parks, etc.
But, there are some things I literally cannot do because of my weight (like riding burros at the Grand Canyon--there's a weight limit). Certain rides at amusement parks--I don't fit in them. These are the things that I feel me and my family miss out on.
I wish I could have more of the "who cares what other people think" attitude about being in a bathing suit. But I don't. Like Pam said, I guess it is having enough pride in my appearance to know that I don't look good in a bathing suit. I wouldn't leave the house without doing my hair and makeup because it enhances my appearance. I won't appear in a bathing suit because I feel it definitely detracts from my appearance.
So I am making changes for my health and to lose weight but it's still hard right now to realize how much I am missing out on. Next summer, I want to smile and enjoy going on those paddle boats with my daughter and not have her sit on the sidelines with me. It's one thing if I miss out, but it really bothers me that my kids miss out too.
The swimming thing is a big one for me. I grew up on Miami beach, and I swam nearly every day of my life. My kids have never seen me in the water. I have decided that this Spring my 5 yo then 6 yo is getting swim lessons at the Y. And I am going to be right there beside her no matter what bulges under my suit. This summer I stayed out of the family swimming pond in Vermont because I'm a big self-obsessed woose. Bigger people than I were in there having a great time. Yep, I need to get over it.
-- How to Keep Young by Satchel Page:
1 Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood.
2 If you stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.
3 Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.
4 Go very light on the vices, such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain't restful.
5 Avoid running at all times.
6 Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.
I think we are ALL sensitive about different areas in our life.
I know that I for one, (most likely because I found a GREAT bathing suit) do not mind swimming in front of my family and people I know, but I get real shy being in a suit in front of strangers. I usually wear a t-shirt or something else. I want to be proud of my body!!!
__________________ Beth Anne
The Ability to persevere is what separates whiners from winners.
I feel good about who I am. I like me. I am confident and carry myself well.
But like so many others, I am missing out on alot of things in life because I allow my weight to hold me back.
I can only imagine if I had children, I would be doing the same thing.
Don't beat yourself up over this. Don't feel that you're not a good Mother. You are. You're daughter knows that she is loved. She may not understand why she couldn't go in the boats. But I am sure, as she grows up you will share this experience with her. And she will then understand.
Let this be you're strength to get through this. Keep this vision in you're head through the ups and downs. Keep the vision of you and you're daughter in the boat, smiling and laughing. Feeling good with no other thoughts.
I refuse to allow another summer to pass without going to the beach. I am not getting any younger.
Know that you're not alone.
1st Mini Goal: 239
Got lost along my way, started over 09/19/09
Follow your dreams and dance to the beat of your own heart. Fly to the stars and claim one for your own.
I spent a lot of time riding roller coasters as a kid & I love to do it. Haven't done it in nearly 8 years. The last time we went we had to squeeze into a car or ride in 2 separate cars. And I weighed a lot less back then than I do now!
I'm looking forward to next summer, when I will hopefully be skinny enough to go on every roller coaster 10 times!!!
I know where you're coming from w/the swimsuit issues. I used to have them too, until my little cousin begged me to go to the pool w/her. I finally took her & you know what? It wasn't that bad. I thought if nothing else, she might be embarrassed to be seen w/me, but nope. A wonderful day!
You're not alone at all. I wish I could say I am confident enough in myself to do all the things I want to do, but I'm not... yet. And like you, there are things that I *physically* can't do yet. For instance, before I started losing weight, I no longer fit into 2 of the rollercoasters at the amusement park that we enjoy going to. I didn't fit (at least comfortably) in the movie theatre seats. I could go to water parks technically, but I don't have the self-esteem to do it yet. This last one really stinks. A new waterpark opened up about 1 1/2 hours from our house & dh wanted to go all summer long, but I wouldn't
Anyway, next summer, I can't wait to go to that water park! And I'm going to go to the amusement park, too! I'm already fitting in the theatre seats! I think it's wonderful and exciting to lose weight & know that even though I may have been able to do these things while still extremely overweight, I now am going to do them confidence & enjoyment.
Wife to John
Mommy to Patton
heh, my ability to wear a swimsuit in public comes from the realization one day that my big shirt wasn't fooling anyone as to whats under it... lol, and I have a great suit that keeps most of my problem spots under control...except, my most hated, my arms...bleah, but, once I'm in the water, no one can see much anyway... and if you're actually swimming, anyone who would have anything to say about it is a fool anyway, because you're EXERCISING...doing something good for YOU... another thing that makes it different for me I guess, is we don't have beaches, we go to an indoor pool at a hotel gym, it is pretty crowded most times though...
I can't think of one activity offered here that comes with a weight restriction, except maybe horseback riding at one of the ranches, and we wouldn't go to one of those anyways, hubby doesn't like horses, and I would never support a place like that anyway, the horses are worked to death practically...there is one thing that is difficult for me *physically* getting into the booths at my favorite greasy spoon...ha, but I count that as a good thing
I found my great suit at Famous Barr, i.e. Robinson May on the clearance rack, so I got it for about 20. It hides most of the yucky stuff, except the thighs, but the water does that for me. I just bought it in June and it is already too big!!!!!!!
Personally, I found that I was very limited in riding the train at the park with my boys. I hated going because I had to squeeze in the seat, but it is getting better! I just try to keep trucking along.
PNG - ROTFLMAO at the "big shirt" remark! It's almost like those bald guys with one last hurrah of a wisp of hair that they take from the bottom of their earlobe and comb ALLLLL the way over the top of their head!
get out of the 230s by July 23rd: Met 7/23/2009
52 lbs. in 52 weeks (12/31/2009): Met 10/29/2009
180 (driver's license weight):
170.8 (100 lbs. lost):
160 (10 lbs to go!):
150 (final goal):