so heres my whole thing at my heighest weight i was 259 ( im 5'6 ) i got down to 212 .... been OFF the wagon scince xmas ... suprise suprise ..... 220 here i am ... 8 pounds in two months .... im not too upset because i know i can do it again ... but of course if i had maintained the 212 ... and i lost 8 pounds instead of gaining it i would be closer to onderland ... i just put myself back .. and i HATE it
anyho this is not the problem ... i take pride in my apperance i NEVER want to appear as one of those girls that just gave up .. which i feel like doing but i wont .. im always smelling good and looking decent i wear fashionable clothing i dress to suit my figure and i always have my hair done nicely my makeup done nicely ... i usually think i look great when i catch a glimpse of myself walking out the door ... then i see a picture of myself from the event and im like phuck a duck i look god awful !! omg noo is that really how i look??? seriously .... omg im disgusting !
i feel terrible because now i wonder what i look like to other ppl i knew i was fat but disgusting looking is a new one .... im horrified i near burst into tears when i saw some pictures
this was spurred when i went to the website of a club i visited last weekend and i saw my picture in saturdays gallery .... and it was the 4th picture to boot so ppl i know will definitley be bound to see it .... i want to contact the site owner and ask them to take it down but that would make it seem like im a cry baby
i was all excited i was about to post a NSV post before i saw that picture too ... i finally fit into a size 14 womens jeans @ old navy and a womens size XL top from rainbow ... i really thought i was getting somewhere .. before i saw that picture that is .. omg i look god awful i cant belive thats really what i look like ...
i REALLY need to stay on track .... but im having a hard time today ...