My sister... (I love her and she's one of my best friends)... but sometimes she says something so beyond insulting to me in such a casual way that it shocks me.
This weekend I was sitting on the couch and she came and sat down on my legs and started pinching me. First I think she was doing it jokingly but then I told her to stop. She says something about how it's not her fault that she could pinch me because I have loose skin. I was like, "Loose skin?! First you insult my boobs yesterday and today I have LOOSE SKIN?!" Her response, "It wasn't yesterday. It was two days ago... And, I was joking. It's not like I told you that your boobs look like two tube socks filled with nickels."
Umm... OUCH. WOW. SHOCK.
That came so out of left field... It's not like I insulted her first and gave her a reason to be so mean to me. And the fact that she can so casually say things so hurtful and not understand why I am upset just baffled me! And trying to play it all off as a joke... give me a break!
I suppose I shouldn't be terribly shocked. She has always had a tendancy to insult my body and show no remorse over it.
Ugh, I know I shouldn't let her get to me but it really bothers me. First off, I am still too fat to have much loose skin at this point. I am sure it will get worse but I don't want to think about it until I get there. So really, can't she save the insults on that one for a few more months?? And the chest comments... I am very busty and therefore naturally not as perky and that alone makes me insecure so I really didn't need more insults there. Furthermore, this really doesn't help my situation. As it is, the idea of ever dating a man again and having him see me naked is beyond horrifying to me. If my sister of all people can notice all the things wrong with me and have no problem pointing them out, how can a guy not be revolted by the way I look? I know I am... And how can I ever even be brave enough to put myself out there and into that situation again? Ugh...
What a mess.. this surely didn't help anything. I have been struggling with staying on track and going up and down the same 8 pounds since Xmas...