So she just says 'whatever' and calls me a crabby b*tch. I was like, "I'm not crabby. I just won't want you pinching me or saying things to me.
Good for you!
Start reclaiming your body space. Don't walk around half undressed around her any more. Don't allow the sitting in your lap or pinching business. Tell her that's inappropriate touching and MEAN it. Be calm, and cool when you do it.
Long term you might make plans to move out, but short term own your space, and don't let her act like a baby. It sounds like she needs/wants you to be larger than her for her self esteem and is commenting/acting like this because she's seeing you change.
And she can call you names all she wants and act like a child -- you keep reacting like an adult.
"I'm not being crabby. I'm setting boundaries and calling you into account when you cross a line. Don't like it? Don't do it."
Ugh, my family makes me crazy. I think my weight loss was just getting to her. Both of my sisters are thinner than me (and always have been) and both of them have told me that I can't be thinner than them. Really? I didn't know I didn't have that option. But both of my sisters are kinda heavy right now too. As I had been losing weight, my younger sister had been gaining. And it got to the point where I was 15 lbs higher than her. That was just before Christmas and if I think about it her rudeness has been stronger since then. She gets along better with me when I am off plan... which I have been struggling with since Christmas. Now I am about 17 lbs higher than her... 20 if she's being good that week.
This explains everything. Seriously it does. My sister who had always been bigger than me until last year has always been jealous of my ability to stay thin in HS and college. It was almost like she got nicer to me when I started gaining weight. Now that I've lost a lot and she and I are almost exactly the same weight, she's getting competitive again. Granted, she's not ugly to me about it like your sister, but sometimes it gets a little iffy. Like if I have a good loss one week she'll make a comment. Or when I ask if she wants to look through my clothes I'm giving away she'll say something about trying to give her my 'fat clothes' which is NOT what I'm doing but she's always worn a size larger than me because of how we are built. Anyhow....
Yes... family can be cruel because they feel like they'll always be forgiven. Definitely forgive her but you need to have a real heart to heart... not a blow up "talking" to about it.
Nthing the concept of protecting yourself. She obviously has some identity issues, and gets a lot of her self esteem by comparing herself (favourably) to you.
When she does things like that, try not to give in to the temptation to hurt her back. It's incredibly easy to respond to something like this by being nasty, but that just leads to two hurt people and plays into the same old dynamic. Just put your defenses up, tell her that she hurt you, and leave.
And another answer to this: "I just do it because I love you so much. If you loved me more you would do it too." is "When I love people, I don't do things to them that I know hurt their feelings."
I swear, every time I see a post about something your sister did or said, I just want to smack some sense into her! I'm so glad you stood up for yourself and I'm sorry her response wasn't satisfying (frankly at this point anything short of falling to her knees and begging forgiveness for her $%^&*# behavior would be unsatisfying from where I stand!).
THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE!!! I was offline for a couple days so I just got the chance to read more responses. It is really great to know that I have this place where I can come and say my piece and know I'm not being judged for it. Other people just don't "get" it.
So, many thanks!!! I'm in a much better place in my head today. I'm feeling clear minded and back on track.
Kae, is there someone your sister thinks is a rude b*tch? Because if so, I would start calling her by that person's name whenever she does something out of line.
My mom agrees that my grandmother (her mom) is incredibly neurotic, and it has only gotten worse as she's gotten older. But sometimes my mom says or does things that sound just like her mother. My brother and I now just say, "Okay, [grandma's name]." It instantly makes my mom take a step back and think about how she's acting, without us having to say anything else.
I don't know if that would work on your sister, but it might be worth a shot. Good luck!
I'm shocked someone who should be really supportive isn't being so.
If you're that close to her, I suggest that you tell her how much that hurt your feelings. Hopefully she will realize how important it is to have ppl who support us on this journey.
Family can be so inconsiderate... I just received an e-mail from my dad called "Your lookalike" where he simply said "I think this lady looks just like you" and attached a picture of a woman who appeared to be 300+ pounds and around 45 years old. She wasn't unattractive, but we don't look alike and NO ONE wants to be compared to someone 50+ pounds heavier and 20 years older. I am pretty devastated by it. He's always doing/saying hurtful things though.
My father once bought me an XXXL shirt (which both me and my best friend got into at the same time) because we were in his words 'the same size'.
And kae, your sister's behaviour of touching you inappropriately sounds quite strange to me, and I wish you the best of luck with it. Although I think that you've already started to make some positive changes, by the sound of it.
She said she wants you to pinch her and call her fat so why not grab a chunk of her boob and say, Hey! How's it going pudgy? Or attack something she's insecure about like oh another guy avoiding you at all costs? Then when you're sufficiently mean enough a few times if she doesn't get it ask her how it feels.
I also wouldn't be asked into a diplomacy program :x
Well, to be honest I think its easier for us to get insulted by family as close as we are to them... sometimes too close! The closer you are, the easier it is to get hurt by an offhand comment they can make.
But, from reading what she said... it seems to me like she just doesn't know how to give a compliment. She may have been teasing you about the loose skin in a backhand way of acknowledging your weight loss. And she did say she wasn't saying that your boobs looked like that.... maybe that's exactly what she meant. Not sure... but I think that's how I would have taken if it had been said to me and (of course) I had analyzed it later for insults.....
and I wish you the best of luck with it. 
