Hi all,
I was wondering if anyone has a difficult/tense relationship with their family members/relatives because of their weight. I've been overweight all my life and have had to deal with the crap that comes from being overweight not just from the outside world but also my family particularly my mom. My mum is thin and so are the rest of my siblings. My dad is also big so he understands the struggle and emphatizes with me.
There was a stage probably in my teens when I truly felt like I hated my mom.The passive aggressive behavior/looks/questions (are you going to eat that, staring at my plate of food and examining the contents, if you lost weight you'd have a boyfriend, be able to buy nice clothes, constant diet/weight loss tips, forcing me to exercise/diet but not doing the same to my siblings, going on about how fat she is and needs to lose weight (she's a size 8), making judgments about overweight people in public, gathering the family to talk about my weight problem has all but ruined my relationship with her. This really wore on my self esteem but I think I also developed some bad habits such as sneaking eating and using food as a way to rebel i.e gaining weight was kind of a way to be like screw you, you can't control. me...and at the end of the day, who did I end up hurting? Myself!
Thankfully I don't live at home but whenever I go back I dread the 'have you gained/lost weight' greeting I receive and my mom glancing over my body to see how i look. I'm not close to my mom and we can only go a couple of days when together without arguing or sniping at each other. Mostly because I just keep it inside and don't tell her to stop commenting on my weight or you know what i know i'm fat and i'll do something about it when i'm ready. It's just frustrating and sad, i mean my mom has always been thin so i know she doesn't get how hard it is to be overweight/lose weight. Also I know she wants the best for me but it sucks that losing weight might be the key to her accepting me. Has anyone experienced or is experiencing this issue? How do you cope?