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Sad, and sick and tired.. but trying to be strong

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Old 02-12-2010, 11:06 PM   #1
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Default Sad, and sick and tired.. but trying to be strong

So, Im going to rant.
I get so used to wanting to be thin and healthy and obsessing over it, and when I workout out, i either half *** it or i give it my all and dont want to do it again later on.

I think I just need the mentality that comes with being strong. I want support and motivation.

Can someone help? PM me or just message back here, I just need positive attitude. My bf helps but hes 6'3 and 140 lbs so he doesnt know what its like to be self conscious and feel fat/ugly. And I feel like I cant go to the gym because people will stare and laugh at me. Is that normal? Maybe Im just wallowing in my guilt and it depresses me.

I just want to be at a healthy 150. At least. Is that to much to ask?

Thanks,
Brit
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Old 02-12-2010, 11:20 PM   #2
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I think alot of us here feel like you. It's really hard to start. I am struggling everyday to find the right balance between what to eat and what constitues excersize. My life dosen't allow for convetional excersize, but I try to do at least one thing that requires real effort and I try to eat on plan. I will incorporate excersize more later. Maybe start with eating better, and just try light excersize to start so you don't burn yourself out. I know about that I can be like that to. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's a struggle for most of us here. I've seen alot of sucess stories on here so we can do it, we just have to find the right balance for ourselves. You can get through it. I've been on plan for 5 weeks, longest ever in the last several years. I'm not losing at the rate I'd like, but what I'd like is to just wake up tomorrow and be 130lbs. But sadly we all know it's not going to happen that way. I have lost 20lbs so far. Some people will ask how I'm doing and I say "it sucks", "It's hard" "I struggle daily" and I do, I really miss some of the old foods I used to eat, but I'm trying to find alternatives.

You can do this, you may fall off plan at some point, but it's not the end of the world, you can always get back on plan. GOOD LUCK. Everyone here has helped me a great deal, even with off topic subjects.
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Old 02-12-2010, 11:24 PM   #3
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It'll be ok! I know how you're feeling. It's hard for me to steer my car towards the gym at the end of the day. It's easier now because I always keep a stocked gym bag in the car with clothes, mp3 player, water and a seat towel. If I have to go home to get that stuff, I know I'll end up vegging on the couch.
Trust me, people don't notice you at the gym as much as you think They are too concerned about themselves.
I was feeling down in the dumps a few times recently, and one of the older guys (about 65 or so) came up to me during my weightlifting and said what a good job I was doing, and that he could tell I was improving! And no, I don't think it was a creepy guy thing, I think he was just being sweet.
Keep trying! I'm proud of you! Even by walking into the gym, you are accomplishing more than most people!
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Old 02-13-2010, 12:02 AM   #4
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We are all here to support you

Go to the gym, people won't laugh at you. Who can laugh at someone taking charge of their life?

It hurts- we've all been there- but you can't wallow in self pity- it doesn't make you lose weight

Make a plan and stick with it, do your best and don't worry if you aren't perfect, it's about progress here. Make small changes so you don't overwhelm yourself, like first cut out junk food and eat more fruits and veggies. Then eat out less and cook more, then start working out, and so on.

Good luck
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Old 02-13-2010, 12:06 AM   #5
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I also fall into that trap where things are going well and I'm losing weight, so I lax up on everything and then my weight loss slows. Some days I feel totally revved up like I could conquer anything, and other days I feel completely helpless. I haven't figured out a cure yet, but when I do I'll give you a holler.
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Old 02-13-2010, 12:40 AM   #6
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Default Don't give up!

Maybe you should change your exercise routine. It doesn't sound like you ever enjoy it. Find something you truly love to do and don't overdo it otherwise it becomes a tiresome chore.
Main thing for me is still a struggle with food choice, I tend to lean towards sweets. It would be good to have your BF supporting you with that. Talk to him about food and what kind of food you can't have around in the house. I'm sure he understands.
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Old 02-13-2010, 06:11 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rakel View Post
I also fall into that trap where things are going well and I'm losing weight, so I lax up on everything and then my weight loss slows. Some days I feel totally revved up like I could conquer anything, and other days I feel completely helpless. I haven't figured out a cure yet, but when I do I'll give you a holler.
Yep, this is me.

To the OP: keep on posting. I'm having a rough time at the moment too and am trying to come here every day and share what's going on inside. It's ok - it's part of 3fc's raison d'etre, surely?
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Old 02-13-2010, 06:38 AM   #8
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I've lost all this weight without ever setting foot in a gym. (Yet. I plan on it, just because I'm looking for ways to keep this process interesting long-term, but so far, nope.) This does not mean, however, that I haven't been exercising like crazy, except my exercise is just constant, often-intense physical activity. I garden. I walk everywhere I possibly can, plus just for fun. I clean. I carry stuff, which may sound silly, but when you're dragging around shopping bags and a rucksack full of stuff, that works your shoulders and arm muscles like crazy. I go up and down my stairs probably 50 times a day, and take the stairs wherever I come across them when I'm out and about. I ride my bike. I run. I am in motion, bending and twisting and lifting and moving my body for hours every day. I LOVE this. I am pretty darned fit for somebody who hasn't yet joined a gym.

What all that means is that it is entirely possible to increase your fitness by simply fitting in more physical activity, while following whatever eating plan you choose. I personally am a calorie counter, but this site is full of people who follow pretty much any plan you can imagine. You really can do this.
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Old 02-13-2010, 07:20 AM   #9
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I hate going to the gym too. What works for me is dvds at home. Also, the attitude that daily exercise is not an option. I do my workout first thing in the morniing before I do anything else. No matter what else happens during the day it gets done. Sometimes I really don't feel like it, but I find that after 5 or 10 minutes I'm getting into it. I have a pretty good collection of everything from step to yoga. You might want to give it a try too. Google Collage Videos. They have a ton of videos, user feedbacks and you can even preview them.
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Old 02-13-2010, 07:46 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by shatteredfallendove View Post

I just want to be at a healthy 150. At least. Is that to much to ask?

You can't just want it and ask for it. You have to PLAN for it and WORK for it.

Go to the gym - the people there are much more concerned with what THEY look like, not worrying about what YOU look like. Or work out at home - I'm a single mom of a young child who can't leave him alone while I go to a gym or exercise and by the time I get out of work, it's time to pick him up from his afterschool program. So I use my Wii Fit or my exercise bike and work out out at home while he's sleeping or doing something else.

But exercise is only one part of the equation - food is the much bigger aspect of weight loss, so you need to make sure you have a focus on that and a plan to follow.

And keep posting here - people will be here to encourage and support you.
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Old 02-13-2010, 08:06 AM   #11
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Ummm, another one here who got down to goal without stepping foot into a gym. I did so AFTER. I too exercised though, but on my own.

Anyway...

Quote:
I think I just need the mentality that comes with being strong. I want support and motivation.
What you need to do is to DECIDE to do this, once and for all and permanently. You need to decide to do this, commit to do this and then take the necessary steps to MAKE it happen as weight loss won't happen TO YOU. You have to be WILLING to make the changes that are needed. You have to be WILLING to do what it takes. You have to be willing to eat this and not that, you have to be willing to have the right foods on hand and the wrong ones out of your home, you have to be willing to give this the time and respect that it and you deserves, you have to be willing to make the right choices - consistently, regardless of your circumstances, taking ZERO excuses, you have to be willing to make the best choices, you have to be wiling to make this a tippy top priority, because when something matters so much to you - you make darn certain that it happens. DARN CERTAIN.

Quote:
I just want to be at a healthy 150. At least. Is that to much to ask?
You can ask all you like, but asking for it won't do a thing for you. Which is good, because we don't always get what we ask for. No,no need to ask for it - you've got the power over this. It's got nothing to do with luck or chance.

*Make an ironclad commitment to really, really do this, this time. And see it through. DECIDE once and for all that you're going to stop settling for second best when first best is WELL within your reach. Stop making excuses and start making a plan of action to get the job done.

*You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. PERIOD. We ALL have the ability to lose weight. Each and everyone of us. Yourself included. It's not some crazy, hare-brained, out of this world scheme. It's a doable thing which is available to everyone. It's your choice. You have the power to do this. You hold the key. It's always been up to you. I'll say it again - you don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. You CAN be slim, trim, fit and healthy. It's up to you. You want it - go and get it.

*I just copied and pasted those last two paragraphs from another thread.
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Old 02-13-2010, 10:34 AM   #12
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What worked for me to develop an exercise habit was setting a weekly total minutes goal, and then once I was consistently meeting the goal, started adding to it. I started out aiming for 3 hours per week, now I'm at 6 hours. How this has worked for me is I generally hike on Sundays. If I've made it to the gym most nights of the week, then a one hour walk in the woods fills out my weekly requirement, but if other commitments have kept me from my evening workout, I end of hiking 3-4 hours.
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Old 02-13-2010, 11:48 AM   #13
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A long time ago, there were no "gyms" and no highly technical gym equipment. This stuff really started to come on the scene in the 80's and 90's. Would you believe that prior to that, in the 60's people actually made their own weights with cans, cement, and pipes? People got just as strong and toned at home lifting and crunching. Gyms are a waste of money as far as I am concerned. You can find decent bar-bell sets at Goodwill, or buy them at K-mart.

The point is that You are the one it all comes down to. If you don't like gyms then don't go to a gym.


I personally believe from what I have read about things like fat metabolism that exersise is actually not really needed for weight loss. You do need it for muscle maintenence, flexibility, and endorphin release-- I feel that walking a few miles each day (privately, where no one can see you) and maybe a nice long walk every week on some trail is just as helpful as going to the gym. using dumb-bells, doing sit-ups is all okay to do at home. There are many good guides out there that show proper form and good exersises.
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Old 02-16-2010, 12:00 AM   #14
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Wow. thank you all sooo soo much.

moveforward73- For the past few days, i have followed your plan. Eating on a set program allows you to realize what your eating, and i think that that is helpful. I do agree that it is hard to first start, but we just have to push through it. I think your doing amazing, your losing weight and you should be proud. thank so much for the advice. and good luck!

chickybird- thank you! I know its silly but just hearing that someone was proud of me feels good. Im glad that you now realise what your problem was (not driving to the gym) and devised a tactic that will motivate you to go. :-) Thanks so much. You can do it, and good luck

beerab- thank so much your right, i do need to write down what i need to do and like cross it off of a list as the day goes on, i think that that might work best for me. I appreciate the advice and support. Take care and good luck as well.

rakel- Thanks hun, i wish we could figure it out, until then we can get support from eachother and everyone else here. Together we can all lose the weight we want. :-) Good luck

Katz-Thank you so much. I will try that. I think my bf tries to really understand so ill let him know exactly how to support and encourage me. I know sweets is an enemy for me to. We just have to avoid it. Thanks so much, and good luck.

salsa_chip- I think you are right, everytime i go on here, i feel better. I think its good to have this support group, it makes me feel good about myself, and i have will to change. we can do it.

catherinef- you are complete and utter motivation. wow, that is incredible. Amazing Job! You are right, i just have to work out regardless of where I am, thanks so much. You totally motavated me.

releve- Wow, thanks When I first lost weight, i used DVDs it worked, I stopped after I gained all the weight and was depressed about it. But your right, the DVDs were amazing, thanks I went the site, and is planning on splurging for myself. At least its beneficial Take care

peanutsmom704- your right! I know that! I think when I get mad or sad, i make excuses for myself, and i just wish it would all come eaasy but thats not life. :-) I have to eat right to, im going to try to stick to a plan and then follow it, thanks so much, take care and good luck

rockinrobin- WOW! Thanks! I think what you said was like a wake up call for me. I no i can do it, i did it before, but because i did it before its repetitive and i feel like it should just come easy. But truth be told, it shouldnt and it isnt. All you said was true. And you read me like an open book. I dont commit, im scared ill fail, but i guess i fail if i dont try...
Thank you, thank you, thank you

caryesings- Thank you I agree, an excersise habit would be helpful. I know i need to make a plan and stick to it, so its better now than never
thanks so much and good luck, take care

giselley- you are right and thats true. Walking is amazing exercise, I just need to stop making excuses for myself and actually do it. Thanks so much





<3 to you all
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