SOOOOO frustrated with clothing and overall discouraged
I'm down close to 30 lbs and I've been working out consistently for about 2.5 months worth of the 3.5 months I've been working at this so far. Not super intense, but still, some effort, not none.
And I am still wearing all the same clothes I wore at 256. Yes, I can see that they don't fit as snugly as before, but honestly, I wasn't squeezing into them before - they fit. I can tell I'm smaller in some places, but not all over enough to wear a smaller size. But my shirts look awful - a bit loose in the shoulders, fit in the bust and then huge below that, like a maternity top. My pants are all knits because I'm apple shaped and anything that isn't elastic waist won't fit around my middle without being enormous on the rest of me. Mostly I wear XL pants - they are still fitting my waist, but loose and unflattering everywhere else. And I can't even get close to fitting into the more fitted pants I have, even size 20 (misses, not womens) unless they are stretchy (a couple of pairs of knit trousers with fly and waistband, but still pretty forgiving).
And while I try to not compare myself TOO much to others, I see women who weigh more than me posting about wearing much smaller sized clothing than I can fit into. Not one random person, but several.
It's starting to really get me down and make it hard to keep up my motivation. I've got a couple of fairly major sources of stress going on right now and while I keep telling myself that not eating right and not working on losing weight won't do anythng to make either situation better, it's still hard to feel focused when I'm not even seeing much in the way of reward for my weight loss efforts. Yes, I've seen some movement on the scale, but if it's not coming along with truly getting smaller, it doesn't feel that great. I mean, I could be in Onederland but if I'm not wearing smaller clothing, I'm not going to be very happy. And right now, it seems like I could lose another 30 lbs and still not see much difference.
Maybe you should just go try on some new clothes, even if you don't want to / can't buy them right now? You might be surprised at your new size.
It seems to me like clothing, over time, if you are too small for it, will actually shrink somewhat to keep up with you. I'm pretty sure that is why I was able to still wear my "size 24" jeans when I was really size 18. Now, I am wearing my size 18 jeans when I am really a 16 or a 14--I can just tell by the way the size 18s fit that they are way too big. (My husband can put his arms around me, then put his hands and arms down my pants to my thighs, with no problem.)
I started at 289 pounds and didn't buy new clothing until around 230. So, 60 pounds. But I knew I was getting smaller. I just couldn't afford to really buy anything.
I just wanted to say that I completely relate…we are almost in the same boat! I’ve lost a 30 pounds myself and while my clothes are certainly looser (especially in the leggs, butt, stomach and back areas), they are not so huge that they are impossible to wear. It’s VERY frustrating. Every day when I get dressed and pull on my pants, I think, “Okay, these should be much bigger on much than this.” I’ve gone down one size in shirts and can fit okay into the next size smaller in pants…but my 16’s aren’t going anywhere.
I think for all people but some of us in particular (you and me apparently), the tummy fat is the last to go. And that’s where our pants hug and “fit” us. My waist hangs on for dear life through weight loss. But I believe we will get there. I’ve heard a lot of people say that sometimes the last 10 or 15 pounds makes a bigger difference than the previous pounds lost.
Good luck, chin up, don’t get discouraged!
Last edited by ThicknPretty : 02-10-2010 at 01:34 PM.
The important thing to remember is that we are all shaped differently, and wear clothes differently than others, and to top that off, all clothes are made a little different. I have some 24s that are too tight, but 22s that fit fine. Some 22s are too tight, some 24s are too big, etc. There really is no set weight for a certain size. I have noticed that I do typically wear a smaller size than other people my weight, but I believe that mostly has to do with height and my specific body build (i.e. perhaps I have more muscle than they do). The same is true of the opposite.
Sometimes our bodies take awhile to adjust to our weight loss. In fact, it's probably not all that uncommon to drop multiple sizes at a time, where you're a certain size briefly and then drop another one suddenly. I think some of these other ladies may have more experience with that.
You may want to concentrate on some strength training if you haven't. Even if you are overweight, you can still tone your muscles with some strength exercises. It may slow the weight loss for a little bit, but it would ultimately help you burn more calories by revving up your metabolism. A pound of muscle burns more calories resting than a pound of fat.
I can definitely understand why you would be frustrated, but I think that it is normal. I know we tend to want to see results quickly, or even compare our experiences to others and get upset when we aren't making the same amount of progress they are.
I'm apple shaped too. It makes you wear a larger size. I wear size 16 pants so that they fit my waist but I can wear size 12 comfortable on the legs, hips and butt. I also have the problem with maternity looking shirts. I agree with ThicknPretty, eventually our waist will be gone if we just keep working on losing. When Ii get down about it I just imagine how awesome it will be when I finally lose the last few pounds and it comes entirely of my waist. Then I am going to the resale store and buying a bunch of new clothes that look great on me. Don't give up. I know you can go all the way.
Lap Band Scheduled for Dec 17!
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." - Epictetus
I'm sorry you're feeling discouraged. Sometimes it seems like we're the last ones to notice the differences in our bodies because we just live with our bodies every day and the change is so gradual, it's difficult to see on a daily basis. And, while you haven't changed sizes, I'd be willing to bet that while you think your old clothes might look "a little looser than before" your friends probably think they look " a lot looser than before"...
Aside from that, I know it's really easy to fall into being "results driven"... I definitely am most of the time... but when you're not seeing results as fast as you'd like, you have to stop and remember that you've given yourself results even if you can't see them. Your heart is probably working easier than it was before. Your lungs are stronger. Your legs are stronger. You've probably reduced your resting heart rate and your blood pressure... These are all things that you can't see (at least not readily), but they're results that you've gained through all your hard work. And, truth be told, they're the most important results you could ask for!
I know it's frustrating, but you will eventually need to buy smaller clothes. You will. Taken to the extreme, you know it's not possible for a 110lb woman to be required to wear a size 20, right? So, it WILL happen. I'm sorry you're frustrated. Keep your chin up and you'll be fine!
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
It took me 60 pounds to go from a 24 to a 22 and that was sooo frustrating! In the next 68 pounds I've dropped 3 more sizes to a 16. So it did speed up the less I weighed. But I still marvel at people who lose 50 pounds and like 5 sizes. Does their fat take up a different amount of space than my fat? I don't get it. If I'm lucky I may see a size 12 when I'm at goal. So it's mind boggling to me that 170+ pounds lost will only equate to like 6 sizes lost on my body.
Anyway I know what you're feeling and trust me, it will change. And boy does that next size feel good when you first put it on having worked so hard for it!
I'm always jealous when people post that they have small, shapely legs that look great in skirts. I could no more wear a skirt with high heels than fly to the moon. I've lost most of my weight at my waist and hips...my arms and legs are smaller too, but my ankles will always been huge and swollen and the only way I can wear a skirt is with boots, which means, winter only. As an hourglass, I'm happy overall, but less happy with my arms and legs.
It took me 60 lbs lost before I could even fit into anything at all from Lane Bryant...
Does their fat take up a different amount of space than my fat? I don't get it. it!
LOL! I wonder that all the time myself.
Peanuts, don't get discouraged. Right now, I'm sitting here in a pair of size 3x stretch pants and a 3X fleece top. And it fits... I mean, it's not FITTED, but they're not falling off either-- I just get that loose, baggy, comfy look that didn't used to be part of my clothing vocabulary...
Remember that with sizes, the BRAND OF CLOTHING makes a huge amount of difference. Some brands are cut way bigger than others.
I'm certainly not at the point that I can fit into any size 16 or XL no matter the brand or store. I'd LOVE to be at the point, but I'm not.
I'm guessing I'll have to be below 200 for that to be true.
30 lbs is HUGE!! You need to look at some comparison pix!
And keep working out. I know I didn't start dropping inches from my waist until very recently, and that was after swimming laps faithfully for more than 6 months. And frankly my waist is still huge. I look nice if you look at me straight on, but in profile, you sure can tell I had four enormous babies.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill
Awww. Sorry you are so frustrated. My pants size is now "regular" that I've lost weight but I am top heavy and have no hips so I would appear to have a lower pants size than someone of similar weight with a more hippy or appley build. One thing I noticed is although i couldn't justify new size pants before as they weren't falling to the ground, I had (how quickly!) forgotten just how tight and miserable the pants were fitting before I started and I was taking them fitting now for granted. I mean just because I could shovel my behind into them before didn't mean that they actually fit. I like the idea someone had of trying some stuff on in the store. You might be able to fit into something smaller that you don't currently own. For me clothes are strange. I seem to linger in a size for a long time and then it seems as if overnight they don't fit anymore. That could happen for you soon.
__________________ Onederland: 12/24/2009, Class I Obesity (197): 1/16/2010, Overweight BMI (169): 8/28/2010, Normal BMI (135): ??,
10% of start weight lost (193.5): 2/02/2010, 20% (172): 7/25/2010, 25% (161.25): 11/26/2010, 30% (150.5): ??, 40% (128.5): ??
I feel your pain about both the apple shape and the 30 pounds made my clothes looser but not too big thing, back when I started. And I'm STILL an apple shape, my hips are like an 8 but my waist is a 14 (!!!) Fortunately, I guess, the low rise nature of pants makes it possible to wear stuff that more or less fits at smaller sizes than my waist calls for.
One of the things about going down sizes from higher weights is that there is a HUGE difference in the measurements between higher sizes, like, 3-4 inches in the waist. Like, on the Catherine's website, a 22-24 is for a 43-47 inch waist! That's 4 inches of shrinkage to get out of that size. And if you think about what people generally describe on this forum (not everyone) often their clothes were tight to begin with, which means their size was wrong and their waist bigger than the size range, and possibly the pants had been stretched a bit to accomodate.
So take heart! If your pants are looser than before, you've lost INCHES in your waist! That is spectacular!
I'm on the "Eat-as-much-as-possible-while-still-losing-weight" diet. It's working.
I can definitely relate; I've lost around 35 pounds since the summer and am also an apple. And it's been hard to tell a difference. I was in a 24 before (not loose by any means), and am now in a very tight 22 or fitted 24, depending on the brand and such.
And my old favorite pair of 24's that I've had for years, that used to be snug on me, still fit me (I was at the weight of 285 for a few years). I also have the same problem of pants/jeans not fitting me properly; by the time I find something that's big enough for my waist, the rest of me is swimming in them (oh, how I wish I had hips and a butt to fill them out).
I'm pretty sure in my case that the next 30-35 pounds will make a bigger difference (as I learned from experience years ago) and I'm sure it will in your case too, just hang in there!
I've lost 23 lbs so far--I started out wearning very tight 20s, and now I'm still wearing 20s, yet not all 20s--I have some old pants in my closet that say size 20, but that I are still too tight (and it's not a matter of fitting into 20W vs. 20--it's totally random). There's no way I'll fit into 18s for a long, long time (I remember getting down to 211lbs, and I still couldn't fit into 18s, so I have a ways to go before I go down a size)
I guess my point is that sizing is totally arbirtary. You're getting smaller--that's great!
It's important to remember that there's a bigger difference between say, a 22 and a 20 or a 20 and and 18 than there is between smaller sizes, like between a 6 and an 8. So as you get smaller, you'll change sizes faster.
No binge since 5/10/10
Mini-goal #1: 1st 10 lbs: 10/07/09
Mini-goal #2: 10% of body weight: 4/28/10 (Finally!)
Mini-goal #3: 211 lbs (my all-time adult low): 1/26/11
Mini-goal #4: 20% of SW (202lbs):
Mini-goal #5: Onederland!:
I just wanted to tag onto what Paris said. It was my first thought when I started reading this. There is a big difference between larger sizes. Have you seen all the threads complaining about the middle ground between size 18 and 16? It's insane. There's a good 30 more pounds between them and you get all the 18W, 18, 16, 16W, 14, 14W and none of it fits!
You're not alone.
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)