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My Dad has Cancer and having trouble staying OP.

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Old 02-08-2010, 04:24 PM   #1
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Unhappy My Dad has Cancer and having trouble staying OP.

I found out the end of January that my Dad has Cancer. I am having trouble staying on Plan. I'm not working right now so that makes me have to much free time. I belong to a gym but haven't been going much. I probably should make a schedule so I can get more done in a day.
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Old 02-08-2010, 04:38 PM   #2
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I'm so sorry, Vickie. We went through a similar situation with my mom a few years ago (cervical cancer) and it was so stressful and scary.

Creating a schedule for your days is a great idea; sticking with it might help you curb stress eating as well as getting to the gym, especially if you schedule meals/snacks. On my really hungry days I've done that and it's gotten me through.
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Old 02-08-2010, 04:49 PM   #3
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I am sorry to here about your Dad. I have had some personal experience with cancer, and I know what you must be going through. It's easy for you to feel guilty about taking care of yourself right now, but nothing can be gained by that. Be kind to yourself and remember that when you take care of yourself(like going to the gym) you are showing you are strong, and your dad needs you to be that way too.
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Old 02-08-2010, 04:53 PM   #4
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Vickie -

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I do think it's fine to be worried about him but still make the time and effort to take care of yourself too. If you feel strong and healthy and good about yourself because you are eating right and exercising, chances are you'll be better equipped to support him.
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Old 02-08-2010, 05:15 PM   #5
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My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year, in April. I was able to continue working on weight loss through the end of May, but in June (as her situation worsened) I decided to just maintain for a while. I kept on with about 90% of my good behaviors, mostly letting the formal exercise drop away because it was taking up time I needed for other things.

I maintained from June to this January at the same weight. Maintaining is a good and reasonable goal when everything is too stressful.

My mom had stabilized on treatment for a while but has been worsening again for the last few weeks. However, I am again working on weight loss and feel mostly able to cope, because I am not having to face the immediate, gut-wrenching trauma of "finding out." I've been dealing with her situation and the reality of her (eventual) death for a while now, and have adjusted somewhat (although it of course completely sucks). I am able to handle what I need to do for her and what I need to do for me at the same time now.

All that to say, life sucks. I'm sorry, and I know how you feel. But do make time to keep yourself healthy. If the exercise needs to go then that's probably the least of your worries--but make sure you are getting enough good sleep, water, and healthy food.
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Old 02-08-2010, 05:21 PM   #6
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I am so sorry to hear this. Alot of free time can lead to unplanned and stress eating. Since you belong to the gym - that would be a good place to go and spend time. Exericse relieves stress. At least it would help. Please be kind to yourself and take care.
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Old 02-08-2010, 05:26 PM   #7
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Vickie - I'm so sorry for what you and your Dad are going though. My heart goes out to you.
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Old 02-08-2010, 05:37 PM   #8
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I have had some experience with what you're dealing with. My father was diagnosed with Stage IV stomach cancer in May 2008.

After a lot of traveling back to see him on weekends, and a lot of distracted days at the office, I took a leave from my job & moved back "home" temporarily to help my mother care for my father during the last six weeks of his life. (I wasn't getting much done at work anyway.) We also had the invaluable help of hospice nurses, which was a godsend. Look into any resources you have locally to help with care. There are some amazing people & groups out there when it comes to cancer care.

This was the most horrible time in my life. I tried to make a routine for myself, as other posters have mentioned. I got up very early & tried to meditate first thing in the morning. (That didn't work well, but the alone time did help. As did petting my parents' cat.) Then I went to the gym & put in an hour of "me" time. The physical exertion helped me work off all kinds of tension. Then I'd come home & put in my time doing care & running errands or whatever else was needed.

The other rule I followed was that I would cook healthy meals daily for my mother & myself. My father wasn't able to eat regular food anymore, so this caretaking was just for me & for her, to sustain us. It wasn't easy. But it was a distraction. I really put a lot of time & effort into this. It's easy to peel carrots & potatoes while sitting by a hospital bed.

Between that commitment & my gym time, I white-knuckled it through. But everyone deals with stress in different ways. My mother ate junk constantly, particularly ice cream. I bought it for her when she asked. It was the least I could do. That was opposed to my way, but it was not a time to preach reform. (If there ever is such a time.)

Be kind to yourself, if you can. And talk to your father as much as you can, if he's willing & able to talk.
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Old 02-08-2010, 08:08 PM   #9
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The other ladies had some wonderful ideas and I have nothing to add, but I wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear about your dad.
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Old 02-08-2010, 08:24 PM   #10
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I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.
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Old 02-08-2010, 08:25 PM   #11
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Awwww - am sorry to hear this!
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Old 02-09-2010, 09:43 AM   #12
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Take care of yourself.
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Old 02-09-2010, 03:54 PM   #13
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My Dad's surgery is February 17th. Thank You all for your Support.
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Old 02-09-2010, 05:10 PM   #14
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Hi Vickie - I went through this with my mother when I was 19. I don't know what to say. It would be great if you could take perfect care of yourself and your mom, but don't be too hard on yourself if you can't. Right now your priorities are with your dad and your family. Try to take care of yourself - it will help - but mostly just be gentle and loving to yourself through this. We will be here on 3FC to chat with or just to laugh with as you need it!
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Old 02-09-2010, 07:13 PM   #15
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I'm sorry your family is going thru this. It is said that the best way to take care of those you love is to take care of yourself. Maybe just do one thing a day toward that goal.

If you don't mind, what first name does your dad go by? I would like to pray for him on the 17th and I like to speak the actual names of people when I pray for them (even though God already knows).

Sending you and prayers.
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