3fc, I have been struggling with my weight, my entire life. At 5 years old, I was 90 pounds.
At 12, I was 180 pounds.
Now at 22, I am 293 pounds.
I know I always seem bright and cheery on this site. Always being helpful and offering up advice and congratulations, but I'm starting to feel like an alcoholic preaching to people not to drink, while holding a beer in my hand.
I know, I know. Eat right and exercise. Calories in vs. calories out. It's so simple. On paper.
Applying it to your actual life is a completely different story.
I'll start with something very basic. I am addicted to soda. Actually, not even that. Just Dr. Pepper. I am addicted to Dr. Pepper. Within an hour of waking up in the morning, I am having my bf get me a 32 oz fountain soda. And most likely, I'll have one or two more before the day is through. I quit soda cold turkey once for a month. I don't even have any idea what happened, but how I wish it hadn't.
Also, as soon as the bf and I have extra money, we immediately head to Burger King, or McDonald's, or some sort of fast food/pizza place. And honestly, this isn't really extra money. We struggle financially, so the eating out and the 3 a day sodas needs to stop. We are living below poverty level. We need to learn to control our money.
We're on foodstamps, $239 monthly. Once, we tried getting almost everything health food, but it took all our foodstamps, and less than two weeks later we were completely out of food. (not because we eat a lot, but because healthy food is so expensive, we couldn't get much in the first place)
For Christmas we got a rice and vegetable steamer, and we've been using it like it's our job. Lots of veggies in our meals. But that still doesn't counteract the cookies, and the frosting, and the soda, and the fast food, and the candy and chips.
A few weeks ago he bought me the Jillian Michaels workout dvd. I did the 5 minute warm-up one time, and haven't so much as glanced at it since.
I'm scared, 3fc. I have no self-control or self-discipline, obviously. I am clinically depressed largely in part due to my weight problems. I recognize how poor my health is and exactly what I need to do, but no matter how much I'm hurting, apparently food is more important to me.
I think I may need professional help. *sigh*
I am not happy with myself, 3fc. Not at all.