As you've read by other posters, there are solutions to the budget, exercise and soda problems - but you knew that already. There is something going on in your mind that's not letting you be successful.
I truly hope that this is your turning point.
I would advise you to get professional help for the depression/self-esteem issues. It can make an amazing difference. I am living proof!! I am not comfortable posting all of the things that I needed help with, but let's say it was pretty rough. I learned to re-direct my thoughts, to question others' evaluations of me and my allowance to let them evaluate me. The biggest thing that I learned was that when I do the right things for myself (standing up to others that want to manipulate, abuse or treat me as inferior), I feel so strong. The first time I was literally crying, shaking and almost threw up. It was hard, but I took that step. I NEVER thought I could do that, but I did. I didn't magically have enough respect for myself to do it, most of it came after I did it. But the next time, it was easier and then easier still. Now I am pretty darn good at it. I don't know why you are depressed, I can only speak for myself, but I can say that taking that first step, regardless of the result - just taking the step, is enough to make you feel on top of the world. It gave the confidence boost I needed to start tackling all of the weak areas in my life.
You are a beautiful person inside and out, worthy of love and respect from others and yourself just because you are you. No conditions or attachments. Please know this!
Start taking the steps that you need to get better. Whether it's a scared, teary phone call to a counseling center, an afternoon crying with your boyfriend and being honest about where you are emotionally, a stubborn resolve to find a way to eat healthily on any budget, an exercise session or maybe keeping a journal. You've already taken the first step - coming here and telling us. Let them multiply, take the next step and the next. One at a time. I truly believe that once we get our heads on straight, the rest comes together a lot more effortless than we thought.
Permanent weight loss is possible and you deserve it! Choose to be healthy mentallly and physically. Yes, mental health is a choice, too.
It's such a better place on the other side of things. Come and see it! See yourself choosing foods that nourish your body, see yourself overcoming food addictions, see yourself looking in the mirror and loving yourself, see yourself holding your head high no matter what your weight is, see yourself feeling better immediately because you know you are making the right choices and capable of making the right choices. I learned that I don't have to wait until I get to goal to be happy and feel better about myself. That part happened in about a week. Just 7 days, I felt more confident, happier and more in control over my own health. I know the weight loss will take time, but I can choose happiness now. You are worth this. Choose it - c'mon! Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, one step at a time.
I don't think there is anything I can add here that wasn't already convered by the wonderful people of 3fcs.
Sometimes I think it is good to master just 1 positive health change before tackling the others so you don't feel like it is too much and you can't adapt to the changes. I used to be addicted to pop too and would often drive a 2 liter of coke like it was water.
I drink diet soda. There are people who will tell you that you shouldn't, but it has worked for me. In fact, I like the diet Dr. Pepper as it seems to be the diet version that tastes like the sugar filled real thing.
Good luck to you.
Post here whenever you are feeling down and discouraged. Post here when you are feeling good and making positive changes. Just keep posting!
yeah, it can be hard and scary. I got up to 330 (the 320 on my ticker comes from a later time). I was depressed, had health problems, not a lot of money. and it can feel like a catch 22: I'm depressed so I don't feel like tackling the weight problems; the weight problems are making me depressed.
I know it's not easy or simple. I agree finding a counselor might be a good place to start. he or she could help you with a game plan.
and lots of good advice here. we're all rooting for you!
Why not choose your battles. If you like Dr. Pepper- what about Diet Dr. Pepper? I love that stuff. I don't drink a ton of it, so I buy a bunch of 12 packs when they are on sale (about $3.33, or 30 cents per can) and stock them up. You shouldn't feel you have to sacrifice everything to be healthy- just make the changes that you can. It is very possible to make it through the month on $239 eating healthy foods- but you may have to get in the habit of making things from scratch, and limiting produce to what's in season.
I just had a conversation with a friend of mine that made me immediately think of this thread. I have no idea what kind of health insurance you have, but if you do have insurance available to you then you might consider asking, the worst they can do is tell you no. I'm sorry, I'm rambling, but the idea is exciting to me. My friend is very over weight, his medical charts have him labeled "super morbidly obese". He and his doctor are working on getting the insurance company to pay for a gym membership and give him a stipend or vouchers or something to help with the healthy food that is so much more expensive. It looks like it might actually go through! Apparently what the doc did was write very specific prescriptions for exercise and a specific diet. He has Blue Cross, but I say no matter the company, asking can't hurt. I already have a free gym (military), but I may talk to the insurance people about this grocery stipend/voucher idea.
I just wanted to say you are brave and strong to post this and ask for help! You are definitely going to get control of these issues!
It took me two years but I finally gave up fast food (something I was SURE I could NEVER do) and Coke (I too was addicted). Cold turkey was the way I did it because I just had to battle through for a couple weeks and then it got easier. But the headaches are bad coming off soda. So you may want to try buying CANS of Dr Pepper and allowing yourself one can per day for a week or two and then cutting it out completely.
As for the expensive healthy eating, it *can* be but doesn't have to be. I wrote a blog about this recently. If you look online or in the ads at the store before you go, you can buy whatever produce is on sale that week. Such as right now most of my local stores have broccoli and cauliflower for 99 cents a pound, and last week I got grapefruits 5 for $1! There's always a couple things on sale and you can buy a bunch of veggies and steam them and freeze it for later. When onions, peppers, etc go on sale I buy a ton, chop them, and freeze them for later. Same with meat... whatever lean meat is on sale I buy and freeze some for later.
Also, dried beans are SO cheap. Go buy bags of various types of dry beans, lentils, split peas, and brown rice. They are what I lived off of when I was in poverty but they are also a basis for my healthy diet NOW. You can throw beans in the crock pot or soak them overnight and cook them, and then you can freeze some for later. Eggs are a cheap healthy protein. Bulk oatmeal is a cheap healthy breakfast (cooked whole wheat is a nice breakfast as well). Cans of tuna go on sale 3/$1.
I have no great wisdom, other than to tell you I KNOW how you feel. I know completely how you feel. I myself still can't believe I'm still going and it's been like 3 or 4 weeks. I usually give up for all the same reasons, but I know I really want to make it. Despite the depression and anxitey. I'm sticking with it. I just don't know why at this point, cuz I have the same exact feelings as you do. You will get through this. You have to find what works for you, I still haven't found a 100% plan that works for me yet, I'm still searching. Trying a million different things. Good Luck. Sending Hugs
Location: Northeastern Ohio But my heart belongs to Canada.
Posts: 369
S/C/G: 290/See Ticker/150
Height: 5ft 4 inches
I just wanted to give you a hug. All I can say is, "I understand". Sometimes just knowing that you are not alone can be a big help. If there was a magic wand, I'd wave it for you (and all of us here). If there was a "trick" or a tip I could give you to help, I'd do it too. Unfortunately, there isn't...or if there is, I still haven't found it. I had it once...I lost it; I am still looking. There is a fight that starts to well up in you and for each one of us the trigger is something different. You WILL find it; all of us struggling WILL find it. I just want to give you a hug and whisper, "You are not alone."
One of my favourite songs is "The Depression Suite" by the Tragically Hip. In that song, there is a phrase that gets repeated that I want to share with you:
"Are you going through something? Are you going through something? Then I; I am too..." We are all in this together.
My starting point wasn't that far off from yours and my finishing goal isn't that far off from yours. I know where you're coming from. It seems really hard and daunting at the starting line but the best way to go is very very gradual. Instead of starting with jillian michaels screaming at you from the tv, start with doing 10 minutes of walking a day, then 20, then 30. Park your car a little away, drink one less can of soda a day rather than cut it out cold turkey all at once. Swap some chips for rye crackers, don't put cheese on your sandwich. Little tiny steps at a time. Thanks the way I did it.
quitting soda headaches - This last time I didn't get the problem for whatever reason, but I have had major headaches other times that I quit. The best solution I found was to switch to coffee. I bought both regular and decaf and mixed them. Slowly I put more decaf than regular until it was all decaf and then I just quit drinking the coffee. Bonus: coffee is a lot cheaper than soda.
I didn't think to tell you about that idea until I saw Lyn post about switching to cans. Does Dr. Pepper have those little tiny cans? If so and you decide to do the can thing then maybe allowing yourself 2 of those a day instead of one regular size might keep the headaches away better because it would be easier to space it out over the day without it going flat. Then you can move down to one, then 1/2, etc.
I got up to 268 pounds because I was drinking 8 Pepsis a day and unlimited fast food, chinese buffets, and pizza. I was killing myself doing this and moving very little. I couldn't even walk for 15 minutes. It was awful. I have depression as well, so you are not alone.
I would recommend starting small and pick 3 goals each week to work on. Any more than that is overwhelming. You need to make an action plan so you can see what steps you are going to take to reach your goals.
I lost 60 pounds and walked up to 6 miles. So, it is doable. Simple, yet not easy.
The fast food I decreased considerablly. I don't eat Chinese buffets anymore.
You have to find the substitutions for the food that you like.
For example, turkey burgers or Morningstar FarmsŪ GrillersŪ Original instead of the ff hamburgers, substitute baby carrots , celery, or sliced cucumbers instead of fries with a Diet Dr. Pepper. Have a piece of fruit for dessert. You will be full.
It is also easier on Sunday to cook in bulk. Make a salad and cut up the salad and veggies so they are ready to go. Cook the brown rice, chicken breast, pork tenderloin, top round steak, or whatever. Have it ready, so you won't make excuses.
Sure, it is a shock to the tastebuds, but you can do it if you are miserable enough. You aren't stuck, nor are you a victim.
Seek your physician or get counseling for the depression. The exercise will raise your endorphins and help you feel better. Get a pedometer and track your steps. Work up to 10,000 a day. I wouldn't start with Jillian Michaels. The Walk Away the Pounds videos are better to start add Jillian later...they are cheap at Wal-mart or Amazon. Check the YMCA in your area. They offer financial assistance if you qualify.
The Beck Solution Diet Solution is a good book to change your thinking. You can check it out at your local library.
Take before pictures of the front, side, and back of you with a jog bra and pair of shorts, or in a swim suit. Take your before measurements...bust, waist, l/r arm, hips, l/r thigh, calves, and neck.
Write your 3 goals and post them on your fridge with your worst before pic. On a 3X5, write down your goals....one for nightstand, one for purse, keep one in the car(when tempted to eat fast food, read it), and one for the bathroom. It is hard to stay in denial when you see your measurements and pics.
Join one of the accountability threads here to keep you on track. It is what you do most of the time that helps.
Don't let your negative voice talk you out of doing this. You are capable and it is doable.
Quote:
I have no self-control or self-discipline, obviously.
That is a lie. Of course you do. You just haven't used it. It is a matter of small baby steps. Most of the weight loss winners started at the exact same place you have. We don't get to be this obese with exhibiting discpline and self-control. You are no different than the success stories. They did whatever it took and didn't make excuses.
Good luck. It is really a matter of trial and error to see what works for you. It is highly individual.
Last edited by better health3; 02-01-2010 at 05:44 PM.
I forgot one of the most important parts. Make a list of WHY you want to change. What do you hate about being obese? Reread it when you are feeling weak.
As you've read by other posters, there are solutions to the budget, exercise and soda problems - but you knew that already. There is something going on in your mind that's not letting you be successful. 
So, it is doable. Simple, yet not easy. 
