Years ago, I fell into a depression that was so deep and profound that it scared me. I had managed my symptoms for years with Prozac but weaned myself off of it after feeling "normal" for many many months. Depression usually sneaks up on me, bit by bit and I can get a handle on it before it become all encompassing. This time, I literally woke up one morning in dark dark place that I hadn't seen in years. Hopeless, dark and scary. I immediately went back on Prozac but knew it would be at least 10 days before I started to feel any relief and even with that the Prozac would magnify my anxiety symptoms before the antidepressant aspect kicked in.
I decided to fight back against the weird stuff in my head and began using self talk. When I felt particularly hopeless, I'd remind myself that it was my brain chemicals that were skewing reality not that my life had turned to garbage overnight. Of course, I didn't talk out-loud unless I was alone
. I had been there before and knew I could survive it again if I could not let it get too bad. I tracked my symptoms and noticed the hardest times of the day were early morning and mid afternoon. Hospitalization was not an option as I was a single mom that didn't have insurance nor the ability to take weeks off from work. I wrestled with my own brain for days until the medicine started to work again, reminding myself over and over and over that it was "me" that was in charge, the smart, funny, rational me, not the crazy dark scary me.
I never thought of using that inner self talk to help me through tough times with weight loss. But if I can use it to struggle through a dark time mentally, I can use it to struggle through times that I feel like I might slip.
First Mini-Goal: Lose 10 lbs. Met 2/22/2010
Second Mini-Goal: 20 lbs. down Met 4/23/2010
Third Mini-Goal: Lost 10% body weight (27 lbs down) Met 9/13/2010
Fourth Mini-Goal: Lose 8 more lbs to = 40 lbs lost :
Back on track
:9/5/2011 First goal: get back to 246