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changing my goal - timing, not amount

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Old 01-24-2010, 09:00 AM   #1
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Default changing my goal - timing, not amount

The first couple of months, I lost 10 lbs per month. I was very happy with that even if I experienced small twinges of envy when I read about people losing 8-10 lbs their first week. But I don't know their full stories, I don't necessarily know how old they are or what they are eating, etc., etc. and 10 lbs was still a very nice pace and would have me at goal in a year, even assuming things slowed a bit here and there.

Well, month 3 has been very different. While there were a lot of external factors affecting things, I have stayed pretty much on track but the loss has slowed down considerably.

While I wasn't completely focused on the timing issue, I think a part of me was putting a little too much emphasis on that and instead of being happy that I was losing and heading in the right direction, I was getting upset that I wasn't getting there fast enough. So now I am mentally adjusting that timeframe. My goal to work towards will be 5 lbs per month. some months, it will hopefully be even more, and that will be great, but I want to be elated if I lose 7 or 8 lbs in a month instead of disappointed if it's not 10.

Based on this new outlook, I hope to finish 2010 with a total loss of about 80 lbs, and reach my goal of 100 lbs total in 2011. At least for me, I think that have what would seem to be more realistic expectations will help keep me focused on the overall goal, instead missing the mark if my interim expectations are too ambitious and then sabotaging myself and getting off track.
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Old 01-24-2010, 09:28 AM   #2
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Congratulations on deciding to make adjustments where they are needed instead of quitting. I know how disappointing it can be when you have your eyes on a prize and it appears you are falling short. Be excited about what you do and celebrate that progress. Every pound adds to the bottom line of pounds lost.

Do the Happy Dance!!

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Old 01-24-2010, 09:56 AM   #3
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Very wise. I think that's a very good decision and a big part of this whole mental game we've taken on.

Month three is proving difficult for me as well. Perhaps that's normal. I have a sort of non-spoken goal of 7 lbs per month but considering I've only lost 2 lbs since January 1st...*sigh*...I may need to rethink things too.
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Old 01-24-2010, 10:43 AM   #4
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Kudos to you for realizing the damage you were doing. It's not easy to admit we're putting too much pressure on ourselves. If it helps any, I don't have a time goal. I may create lil mini goals (like down X pounds before a certain holiday) to keep me motivated... but in the long run, I'll get there just as fast - or slow - as I'm supposed to.
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Old 01-24-2010, 10:46 AM   #5
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I think the very most important thing to FOCUS on, is getting those good eating/exercise behaviors down pat. Focus on finding foods that you love, strategies, tips and tricks to keep you on plan, customizing your plan, incorporating exercise and activity into your life and just overall making this your new way of life. If you focus on those things - the weight will come off - in whatever time frame. As long as you are prepared to continue on this new healthy lifestyle, without stopping - just forging ahead - there's no way that the weight can not not come off. And it will. It will. In the end it won't matter if took you one year, 16 months or 20 or whatever.

Wishing you continued success!!
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Old 01-24-2010, 12:00 PM   #6
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Oh Lord, if I'd been on a time schedule I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. I'm closing in on four years (!) of steadily working on weight loss, and I have yet to hit the 100 pound mark.

Our bodies will lose what they lose when they feel like it, regardless of how quickly we think the weight should be dropping. Definitely no need to psych ourselves out by assigning a time line. That said, I certainly hope it doesn't take you as long as it's taken me!
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Old 01-24-2010, 12:03 PM   #7
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Peanutsmom - Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. Lately, Ive found myself doing the same thing. Being disappointed and down on myself when the weight's not coming off fast enough - instead of celebrating losing (at whatever pace) and being healthier. I really needed to read how you thought all that thru and came to such a loving way to treat yourself.

Good for you and thanks for helping me
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Old 01-24-2010, 01:08 PM   #8
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thanks everyone.

I realize I substituted one time frame with another, longer one, so I'm not completely letting go of a time frame. But I am not good with being too open ended when it comes to accomplishing, I do need to have some structure to my goals. So I'm trying to find the balance to have a goal that I can work for and that does challenge me enough to keep me on track without putting TOO much pressure on. Hopefully this is it!
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Old 01-24-2010, 01:24 PM   #9
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PeanutsMom - Great topic! When I went to get a checkup before starting to diet my doc told me "It comes off really fast in the beginning and then slows down. Some people think they are failing then but you must think of it as succeeding because you are getting closer to your goal."
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Old 01-24-2010, 01:42 PM   #10
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I want to jump on the train of congratulating you for adjusting your goals instead of giving up. I had the same thing happen to me. My original goal was to lose 100 # by my next b-day (3/23). I now know that due to holidays, illness, and a slow down of pounds lost per week that is no longer reasonable. Like you, I put myself on a new time line of reaching goal by my 2011 b-day instead. I have always had other fitness goals besides the scale to help keep me motivated and I really think that helps. If you don't have some, you should add them to your plan. I have a goal of being able to do 10 pushups on my toes, a 1,000 miles in 2010 challenge (www.treksee.com is my friend), a 10,000 crunches in 2010 challenge (834/month, 28/day), a goal of being able to pass the air force fit test (if you, or anyone else for that matter, would like to add this one to your list and need the info on it feel free to PM me or something and I can give you the charts and things), being able to run 20 minutes without stopping (then 25, 30, 35, and so on) being able to run a 5K, then a half mary, then a full one, 10 pull-ups, using 10 - 15 pound hand weights by the end of the year for my ST, and on and on and on. I also have lots of nutrition goals - working on getting rid of processed foods, upping veggies, more variety in fruits and veggies, water/crystal light intake, etc. I also use body fat % goals, pants size, body inches, and whatever else I can think of. The way I work, the more goals I have the better I do because I don't get so focused on one that if it is not going as well as I'd like I am crushed and give up. With so many goals I always have some that are going very well. I (with lots of help from DH) use spread sheets to keep track of all this info.
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Old 01-24-2010, 02:18 PM   #11
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I have noticed that my wt loss has slowed down to about 1# per week so I too have had to readjust my expectations. And, if it makes you feel any better, I was never one of those people who had a 8-10# weight loss in any week, even at the beginning! Maybe three pounds in a week in the beginning. Then it stabilized to around 2, now it's more likely 1.

But, as long as I am acquiring tools to live a permanent lifestyle change I'm okay with it.

It's just a new mind set with me. Although I'm not very good at writing things down I do have very concrete goals for myself in terms of what I hope to accomplish. Like Rockinrobin says, As long as you are prepared to continue on this new healthy lifestyle, without stopping - just forging ahead - there's no way that the weight can not not come off.
We can do this!!!!
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Old 01-24-2010, 03:43 PM   #12
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Congrats on adjusting your goals. I'm one of those people who can't do a time line goal because I have a tendency to give up if I don't make it, so I think it is great that you are able to make the adjustment to a more reasonable time frame for you.
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Old 01-24-2010, 03:52 PM   #13
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You are right.....it really isn't how fast that number goes down...but, learning to LIVE with food in a healthy sane manner. Making lifelong changes. Good for you'
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Old 01-24-2010, 09:46 PM   #14
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Glad I read this thread as I had found myself getting kind of frustrated and competitive sometimes-- asking myself why others seemed to be losing faster than me...

It's so easy to lose perspective-- I've been at this seven months and lost 70 lbs-- not half bad-- but it all but fell off in the beginning and now it goes a lot slower.

When I realized that one pound per week was a more realistic goal, I realized that it would take me a full year from now to get to goal.

That was making me get really depressed and kind of down on myself, like I wasn't any good at this.

But then I realized that that's just craziness talking. I've seriously upped my fitness and all kinds of good things have happened in these seven months.... it will take as long as it takes.
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Old 01-24-2010, 11:32 PM   #15
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fwiw, I think age is a factor, at least for me. I'm pretty sure that in the past, I would be dropping weight more quickly on what I'm eating and my current activity level. But I'm 47, almost 48, and have to accept that I will have to work a little harder and a little longer.

On the other hand, I already feel better physically than I have in years, so the incentive is there to keep going and see how great I feel 20, 50, 80 lbs from now!
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