3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

Could do with a hug, please.

Thread Tools
Old 01-17-2010, 08:05 PM   #1
Happy Plodder
Rosinante's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 4,083

S/C/G: 238/177/138

Height: 5'2"

Default Could do with a hug, please.

Big meanie of a day here - I'm a church minister. It's a traditional church, where ritual is important. There's a team of servers - guys in the sanctuary who have set roles in the service. One guy has spent my first year showing off, disrupting the service, talking when I'm preaching, distracting me and the congregation. I've had several conversations with him, including a formal meeting and a reprimand. Today I told him to quit. He's not pleased, understandably.

It's the first time I've ever had to fire someone, so I'm kind of all of a quiver still. And of course, as the evening goes on, I'm starting to feel guilty..... However, I know I'm right, and, like it or not, tough stuff is what leaders have to do some times.

Still could do with a hug, though.

OTOH, I feel like a great weight has lifted - believe me, for the last 3-6 months, I haven't been able to sleep on Saturday nights for worrying what he'll be like on the Sunday - and that ain't good for a minister, to be afraid to go into their own church! So I'm hoping that now this weight's gone, I can concentrate on this other weight. Tomorrow, I'm back on track. Again.

And yes, it is midnight here. And no, I can't sleep.

Rosinante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:11 PM   #2
Judy Lynn's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1,281

S/C/G: 274/ticker/174

Height: 5'10"


Good for you, sounds like it was the right decision.
Judy Lynn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:13 PM   #3
Age 53
caryesings's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NC now/MI for first 42 years
Posts: 1,652

S/C/G: 265/ticker/165

Height: 5'7"


I'm so relieved for you that you've gotten that conversation over. You've done the hard part, stay strong.
caryesings is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:17 PM   #4
Senior Member
Keillynsmom's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: St Louis
Posts: 263


Here's a huge hug -- it's hard and you've done what was best, for your congregation and for all involved. The man needs to grow up, both personally and spiritually, and he had his chance to deal with the issue and turned away. You've faced it and grown. Well done.

I'm in a traditionally male field myself (engineering) and I've been there more times than I ever wanted to be.

One more hug! And get some sleep.
"But remember, the brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop other people." Randy Pausch, "The Last Lecture"

Keillynsmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:18 PM   #5
nirvikalpa samadhi
DCHound's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Gaithersburg, MD
Posts: 1,728

S/C/G: 369.5/ticker/169.5

Height: 5'8"


I remember your writing about him earlier...I'm surprised he's still there. He needs to GO! You did the right thing!!
DCHound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:22 PM   #6
Senior Member
HealthierLori's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 398

S/C/G: 181/see ticker/140

Height: 5'5" and 48 years old


Big hug for you! My sister is a Pastor with the ELCA and our services are very similar to the Anglican Church services so I understand what you are saying.

You absolutely did what you needed to do, for the good of your congregation. So many of us recharge each Sunday in church - we are fed not just with communion and your words in your sermon, but also with the beauty of the music and the beauty of the rituals - and anything that disrupts that, disrupts the spiritual growth of the flock and keeps them from getting what they need.

As part of the congregation, I always depend on the Pastor to do the hard things like what you have done, to preserve the beauty and peace of the service and to ensure we all get what we need each Sunday.

Thank you so much for doing this. You did absolutely the right thing, even though it was very very hard to do, so give yourself a big hug and a big reward! (((HUGS)))

P.S. A warm bath and some lavender oil (if you have some handy to put in the bath) might be just perfect now, along with a non-caffeine herbal tea like chamomile!

Last edited by HealthierLori : 01-17-2010 at 08:24 PM. Reason: To add PS
HealthierLori is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:22 PM   #7
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Bowie, MD
Posts: 1,782

S/C/G: 330/315/154

Height: 5'6


I hope things get better now that the guy has been booted.
BellaLucia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:23 PM   #8
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In La-La Land
Posts: 3,687

Height: 5'8"


A BIG HUG to you, and I understand what you are saying-- I'm very non-confrontational and can procrastinate for MONTHS instead of dealing with it. GOOD FOR YOU!

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill
ubergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:35 PM   #9
Senior Member
Beverlyjoy's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,349

S/C/G: 271/219/healthy

Height: 5'4 1/2"


((((Rosinante)))) Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing. You did everything you could - but, he chose to continue that same behavoir. Try to feel better.

Move ticker, move!
Next Mini Goal - 214

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." - Margaret Thatcher

I can't lose 100 pounds....but, just maybe I can lose five pounds twenty times.
Beverlyjoy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:36 PM   #10
Not Giving Up!
LitChick's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: near Atlanta, GA
Posts: 969

S/C/G: 351/ticker/160

Height: 5'7"


Good for you for taking care of the situation. I imagine it was hard but necessary, and speaking as a member of the congregation (Episcopal) I would be very happy to have someone like that no longer disrupting the service and taking the focus away from worship. I bet everyone is relieved and now that the hard part is over, you'll sleep better on Saturday nights and enjoy your Sunday services more.
~*~*~ Lesley ~*~*~

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail". Ralph Waldo Emerson
LitChick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:39 PM   #11
Never want to go back!
CLCSC145's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,804

S/C/G: 338.4/190.8/165

Height: 6 ft


Firing people is the worst part of any leadership job, but you certainly gave him enough chances to shape up. Sounds like you did the right thing, even if it was hard.
CLCSC145 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 08:57 PM   #12
Loving life!!
TJFitnessDiva's Avatar
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ponchatoula, LA
Posts: 2,349

S/C/G: 360/159/145

Height: 5' 8"


You did what needed to be done and the whole congregation can have a peaceful Sunday service now.

"The most exciting, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."

My fan page on facebook! www.facebook.com/taneeisfitforlife
TJFitnessDiva is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 09:05 PM   #13
Senior Member
PeanutsMom704's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,020

S/C/G: 263/ticker/156

Height: 5'7"


ditto what everyone else has said. So glad this weight over your head is gone now and you don't have to dread going into your church!
Long Term Goal

1st 10% - 2/2/10
Current Goal - 2nd 10%

PeanutsMom704 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 09:12 PM   #14
Senior Member
Thighs Be Gone's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,629

S/C/G: HW/232 SW 215/ CW 133/GW 120's

Height: 5.7 and 1/2


If you know he is was disrupting your outreach--well, then --that's all that needs to be said about that.

"Be who you are, say what you feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter." --Dr. Seuss
Thighs Be Gone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2010, 09:16 PM   #15
Don't Give Up!
VickieLou's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: WI
Posts: 1,825

S/C/G: 262/197/132

Height: 5'4"


Rosinante here is a . It must be a big relief not to have to deal with that server. He should be embarrassed for how he behaved. It sure wasn't setting a good example for the children.

VickieLou is offline   Reply With Quote
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What to do when a significant other wants you to lose weight too? KateRN Weight Loss Support 101 01-06-2010 11:58 PM
Talk to me, Fellow Emotional Eaters! What to you do with these @#$% emotions! GirlyGirlSebas 100 lb. Club 26 07-10-2007 08:30 PM
I really need support or maybe just a hug Sheba's Mom South Beach Diet 18 08-23-2005 12:03 AM
I could just cry... Help me - please... Br00klyn 100 lb. Club 16 05-18-2004 01:55 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:23 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2