LaurieDawn, exellent update! I'm so happy that you found such delight in changing your habits with your daughter. It's such a good feeling when that happens. And it's much better for her to see you do things in moderation than to have a grumpy and tired mom who's starving.
Ophelia, "only" ten pounds in two weeks? Change that to "I lost TEN pounds in just two weeks!!" You're awesome! That's a tremendous accomplishment! Do you realize you've lost a bowling ball?
The thing is, is if you really, really, REALLY stick with your plan CONSISTENTLY than the weight will come off in a CONSISTENT matter. Time really flies. Those weeks go by in a flash. Each 7 day period is a real chance to progress. You start stringing together those "good" weeks and by doing so you chip away and chip away and chip away at the numbers and before you know it, a good chunk of the weight is gone.
Having canceled WLS 7 days before the date, I personally think that time spent working on changing ones habits, working on incorporating life time sustainable healthy habits is the best way to go. You focus on those good behaviors, getting a good eating/exercise plan - especially the eating part (though the fitness as well surely) down pat, customizing it, making it your own, finding foods that you LOVE, wrapping it around your head that you must do this for life, finding coping skills, tips, tricks and strategies that keep you on plan, setting yourself some boundaries, making some steadfast rules, planning ahead ALWAYS, finding the joy and the good in this lifestyle, is without a doubt the best way to go about this.
DECIDE to do this. COMMIT to do this. FOCUS on those behaviors. Make this a PRIORITY. Decide. Commit. Focus. Priority. Decide. Commit. Focus. Priority. Decide. Commit. Focus. Priority. Everything else will fall into place.
If you ask me THAT is what is needed. That and WILLINGNESS. Willingness to make the changes. Willingness to do what is required. Willingness to do what is necessary.
Losing weight and lots of it IS a doable thing. For every one and every one. You *just* must be willing to do what's necessary.
I just want to add that I'm a health care provider and I spent part of yesterday caring for someone who had WLS about five years ago, and who has MAJOR health problems now that are direct consequences of the surgery.
It made me really sad for her. She is young, but she has severe and permanent health consequences-- she has the health profile of an old woman. I think it is likely that she will not live to see old age.
I am not meaning to disparage those who decide that WLS is their only option, but ask any health care provider who has had to see the possible consequences first hand and they would almost certainly recommend that you try anything and everything else first.
People often talk about how obesity is a killer-- but it kills slowly. Most of the severe health consequences of morbid obesity don't show up until after a relatively long period of time.
You get many, many, tries to get it right with traditional weight loss. You could fail three, four, ten or even twenty times, and then eventually figure it out.
But, with WLS it's permanent, and if it doesn't work out right for you, you are stuck with the consequences.
Maybe that's a little OT to this thread, but I can't get this young woman out of my mind.
Like I said, I was scheduled for WLS, canceled 7 days prior. I wish I had been advised to seek out other methods first. Whether it be WW or an eating order specialist or a nutrionist or a SOMETHING. I wish my doctor would have told me that there ARE other ways to lose weight. But of course my own doctor didn't think that there WERE other ways to lose large amounts of weight. In fact when I told my primary care doctor that I was canceling my surgery (I then wanted her to be aware of my decision and monitor my weight loss progression) she told me that she didn't think the amount of weight that I needed to lose could be achieved without the surgery. When you are that heavy you believe that there ARE no other ways out. I certainly did. For me, it was being that close to the surgery date that started freaking me out about what was going to happen to me and how my eating habits were going to HAVE TO CHANGE. And THAT woke me up to that fact that I was indeed going to have to change my habits, whether I liked it or not. So I finally realized if I was going to change them, I might as well change them in a way that seemed much more palatable. So I called up the surgeons office and told them that I wanted to try it on my own. Give it one last shot, giving it my ALL. And the nurse told me - "you'll be back, they all come back". Only I didn't. I did give it my all. And when I gave it my all (and than some), I didn't need the surgery.
So I called up the surgeons office and told them that I wanted to try it on my own. Give it one last shot, giving it my ALL. And the nurse told me - "you'll be back, they all come back". Only I didn't. I did give it my all. And when I gave it my all (and than some), I didn't need the surgery.
Huh. Wouldn't it be fun to go down to the office in your tiny little jeans and say, "You're right. I DID come back--to show you that it can be done! HA!"
Just wanted to say what a good discussion this was.
rockinrobin - Your story is very inspirational! I think you should go down there with your bad self and tell them that they were wrong.
My mom had WLS 2 years ago and it was scary seeing her go through it and it STILL is scary. 190 pounds lost later and she still struggles with her eating and not overeating. I PRAY that she does not reverse her progress and gain any back. She looks and I know she feels amazing as well. She is my inspiration. WLS is not for me, but I know that I can achieve the same results that she is achieving. Just a different method.
We can do this ladies!! (And gentlemen if there are any here.)
I had considered doing the Lap-band myself but decided against it because for me at least, losing weight isn't my only issue. I have horrible self-esteem and I need the boost to my self-esteem that doing it myself will give me.
I only started two weeks ago...and I've only lost ten pounds so far...but I feel so proud of myself for working so hard and accomplishing this myself...and I need that.
I read you post, Ophelia, and it really resonated with me. I have self esteem issues, and I have those same types of feelings, that losing this weight is something I need to tackle and conquer once and for all, for me.
I saw that 237 on the scale this past Friday, and yes, I still have a long way to go, but it has been decades since I've seen a number that low and it almost feels surreal. I did that, I lost all those pounds. And I'm still doing it. It's been an irreplaceable and invaluable experience for me, losing the amount that that I have, esp coming from the out of control binge behavior of my past.
a big congrats on those 10 lbs, that is a serious number to drop in 2 weeks!
getting into my head it's really doable has been a big part of the struggle for me. so I'm always grateful to read posts like yours, rr.
Huh. Wouldn't it be fun to go down to the office in your tiny little jeans and say, "You're right. I DID come back--to show you that it can be done! HA!"
I thought of this and many people have said that I should go and show them - but in the end, I thought it would be rubbing it in their face.
Now my doctor, she's another story. Of course I showed her. I think she was pretty shocked! She still has a hard time believing it. I should tell her about this place so that she could see that what I did is not that unheard of. The truth is, I'm not that happy with her as a doctor, given her lack of confidence in me all those years ago and always have my ears open for another doctor.
How I wish I could shout if from the rooftops - that weight loss and lots of it IS a doable thing. That is the one message I would love to get across to each and every person. WEIGHT LOSS AND LOTS OF IT IS A DOABLE THING!!! IT IS. IT IS. IT IS!!
I really was just kidding about that. I'm not a big fan of the "shove it in their face" response, either. It really makes sense that she would say that to you; after all, people coming in for surgery is what keeps her office in business and chances are good that lots of people DO come back.
I really think that the key for many of us is to have the support and the knowledge that it CAN be done. I really, honestly, truly don't think that I believed that I really could do this until I came here and saw PROOF. Proof in all the stories in the goal section. Proof in the tickers of all the chicks that post here nearly every day.
Your doctors lack of confidence in you was probably not a personal thing. I'm sure it was based on her years of seeing people in her office with resolve, only to observe that many of them were not successful. So she applied that experience to you. But how much different might things have been if she had said, "Yes, Robin, I believe that you CAN do it! I look forward to your success!"
I wish you lived near me. I would refer you to my doc. She is the best. When I told her I had lost 15 pounds (which was a drop in the bucket), she was VERY encouraging and reminded me that it's a process, that every pound counts, etc. I love her. Let me know if you ever move to central Washington and I'll give you her number.
I am a nurse. I work with many overweight nurses. The majority of them will tell you they'd rather have surgery than go to "all the work" of losing the weight themselves. We had this big discussion the other day and they think I'm stupid for working to lose the weight when "it will all come back." No way to keep it off. And these are all educated people who KNOW BETTER!
The topper for me - I work on an inpatient mental health unit. These are nurses who understand esteem and effort and making choices. And they still think surgery is the best choice. What is up with that?????
I think weight loss requires a lot of work with or without surgery. I witnessed my mother suffer the consequences of WLS many years ago (I'm sure it was worse back then when it was a new surgery). She lost a ton of muscle tone, vomited a lot (that was the primary way that she learned what foods she could no longer tolerate), and to this day she has major digestive problems. One thing I know for certain - there is no way she could have subsisted on such tiny amounts of food for months but for the constant threat of vomiting or dumping. Since she didn't change her emotional mindset toward food, her stomach apparently stretched to hold more food and the weight did eventually come back. Except now she is weaker and suffering from persistent IBS. Also, she has a long list of items, including dairy, that she can no longer tolerate.
I say this only because I became convinced after witnessing her struggle that there is NO EASY WAY to lose weight. Zip. Nada. But as someone else said, we get many tries when we do it ourselves.
I'm very glad to hear the OP say that she will model good behavior for her daughter rather than emulating a life changing surgical experience. Someday she will thank you!
Ophelia, "only" ten pounds in two weeks? Change that to "I lost TEN pounds in just two weeks!!" You're awesome! That's a tremendous accomplishment! Do you realize you've lost a bowling ball?
LOL! Don't worry, I am very proud of what I have accomplished over the last couple of weeks. I was reffering more to the fact that I have only been here on the board for a couple of weeks and I've only lost 10 pounds, compared to others who have been here for months and lost 40-50 pounds.
Good luck to your sister with the surgery.
But I think you're on the right track with not doing it.
My Dad had it done 5 years ago... has gained all the weight back plus some...
My Aunt did it 2 years ago and is back to her old habits. Same story with my friend's mother.
A good friend of mine had it done 6 or 7 years ago (she was the first person I knew that had it done). They are NOW finding out that malnutrition issues relating to the surgery (which she had trouble with) probably caused her to miscarry 4 children. While Shannon eventually went on to have a "successful" pregnancy (her daughter is 2 1/2) Kathryn was born 3 months premature and spent the first year and half of her life in NICU. This is the main reason I WON'T do it... I'd like to have children someday!
Your doctors lack of confidence in you was probably not a personal thing. I'm sure it was based on her years of seeing people in her office with resolve, only to observe that many of them were not successful. So she applied that experience to you. But how much different might things have been if she had said, "Yes, Robin, I believe that you CAN do it! I look forward to your success!"
I think I've spoken to this before on the boards, but as a health care provider, I understand where the response is coming from....
I remember several years ago, a patient of mine who lost about 100 pounds-- every time she came in she was another 30 pounds lighter or so. And not just that, she looked AMAZING. Other than that, there was nothing special about her--she was just a regular person. I grilled her and grilled her about what she did... she "watched what she ate" (modified calorie counting) and she walked 6 miles a day. She absolutely glowed.
But see, I still remember her, because in my experience, it was unusual. Most of my heavy patients either stayed heavy or got heavier. They were embarrassed about their weight and I had to be very tactful about discussing it. Sometimes I thought that my own struggle with obesity made people feel more comfortable talking to me, but on the other hand, I had no real solutions. Plus, you only get a few minutes with people... hardly enough time to address the complex issues-- and most patients pretty much know what they "should" be doing.... they just don't understand why they "can't" do it.
Add that to the fact that a lot of people are making money from WLS-- it's a huge cash cow for hospitals who are busily building new wings to accommodate the bariatric patients...
In short, our health care system just isn't set up right to help overweight and obese patients-- doctors lack time and know how to help.
The end result: we like to recommend stuff that's easy to implement (a pill, a patch, a surgery....)
I don't work in primary care any more, but if I did, I would be much more effective now. My patients used to tell me three things 1) they couldn't stick with a diet, 2) they didn't have time or money to join a gym and 3) they didn't have money to join a program like WW.
Well, now I know that you don't need ANY of those things to lose weight, and perhaps the single most important thing is SUPPORT. Even the WLS people know that, because it's incorporated into their programs.
But every single person who succeeds here and goes back and shares his or her success with the health care provider is another person who is helping spread the word that IT CAN BE DONE.
People used to think it was almost impossible to quit smoking-- that did not turn out to be true. I think weight loss is the same.... there are more obese people now, but it's also going to become increasingly clear that weight loss IS POSSIBLE.
It is an individual choice,and I honor that, but I feel very strongly about this.
I think that surgery, (any surgery) should only be considered if there is a severe and imminent condition that out-weighs the risk and life-time side effects that come with the package, and it's likely that many don't meet that criteria at all. There is no shortage of pills, potions, and procedures to undergo out there, and if one were in the market for say, a nice bridge in Brooklyn, I'm sure someone would be willing to sell. Most of us turn to doctors to be healed, without first changing the life-style that got us in trouble to start with. I sincerely wish your sister the best of outcomes, but I am glad to hear that you have chosen a different approach.I know you can make it.
You're awesome! That's a tremendous accomplishment! Do you realize you've lost a bowling ball?
