3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

Competition with little sister?!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-12-2010, 11:10 AM   #1
Kae
. * . * . * . * . * . * .
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,141

Default Competition with little sister?!

Great... I think my younger sister's competetive side has kicked in again... the other day she sat down next to me and said, "You don't weigh more than 240 lbs do you?" (She is planning my birthday present for July but it supposedly has a weight limit of 240.) *Shock* "240?! Thanks a lot. I haven't weighed that much in months," I replied. "Well, how much DO you weigh?" she asked. So I say, "211 lbs... I only 15 more lbs than you." And you know what she says, "Oh gee. Thanks a lot." As if I meant that as an insult... and as if I am so huge that my being 15 more lbs than her is so horrible.. I mean, geez.

My sister has always found pride in being "the smaller one" and I think finding out I am catching up to her weight has motivated her to get back into gear.

We had been workout buddies the past few months but ever since she found out I am 15 lbs more than her she hasn't worked out with me. I text her from work twice yesterday asking if she wanted to workout later... she never replied... and when I got home all of the workout stuff was sitting out. She did it without me.

Hmmm... I know I need to focus on myself but it just kinda bugs me that she is so offended that I could weigh the same as her. Or that she thinks I look so huge that it is shocking that I am close to her weight. Thoughts???
Kae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 11:23 AM   #2
Focused on the Future
 
JustBeckyV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Iowa
Posts: 990

S/C/G: 237/132/137

Height: 5' 3"

Default

Probably best to sit her down and talk to her about. It sounds like the two of you are pretty close and would be able to talk about anything. I am sure it's her own insecurities and dealing with her weight.
__________________


JustBeckyV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 11:30 AM   #3
Finding my wings...
 
starfishkitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Crown Point, Indiana
Posts: 1,075

S/C/G: 256/see ticker/156

Height: 5'2 and a freakin' HALF!

Default

Sounds like she needs a visit from the "Grow up" bug....
__________________
"Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway." - John Wayne


Overall Weight Goal (Started Spring 2006)



My Newest Goal: Lose 2011's Gained Stress Weight & Get Back to my Lowest Weight in Time for my Dec' 11 Vacation!!
starfishkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 11:32 AM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SE Minnesota
Posts: 90

Height: 5'1''

Default

This is a ticky. I would talk to her about it so you can see where eachother is coming from. I have an older sister and she was always the 'small one' and recently the rolls have been reversed; and it has changed our relationship a little. Our own personalities and insecurities mixed with what we think others think is hard; expecially when its your sister!

You need to talk to her, but be completley honest with her and yourself with what you are feeling! Good luck.
__________________
"diet makes you look good in clothes, but exercise makes you look good naked"





club is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 11:42 AM   #5
Just Yr Everyday Chick
 
JayEll's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 10,098

S/C/G: Lost 50 lbs, regained some

Height: 5'3"

Default

If it were my sister, I'd sit her down and say, "Okay, competition now over. What i weigh and what you weigh have nothing to do with each other."

Jay
__________________
"My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama

JayEll is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 11:44 AM   #6
Kae
. * . * . * . * . * . * .
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,141

Default

Hmm...thanks for the replies. You've given me something to think about.
Kae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 01:56 PM   #7
Restart Date: 10/25/2009
 
lovemyboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 587

S/C/G: 215/160/115 HW: 235

Default

I too have a sister that prides herself on being the small one. She is competitive in all areas, not just this one. It is an especially sensitive area as I tend to win the other things she is competitive about. she isn't supportive in this or any other area lest she inadvertently help me win. It is all so silly and Winning doesn't matter a lick to me. I wish she were a partner in my weight loss and other areas but she is not and never will be.
__________________
Onederland: 12/24/2009, Class I Obesity (197): 1/16/2010, Overweight BMI (169): 8/28/2010, Normal BMI (135): ??,

10% of start weight lost (193.5): 2/02/2010, 20% (172): 7/25/2010, 25% (161.25): 11/26/2010, 30% (150.5): ??, 40% (128.5): ??

One for every 5 pounds lost:
lovemyboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 02:12 PM   #8
Kae
. * . * . * . * . * . * .
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,141

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemyboy View Post
I too have a sister that prides herself on being the small one. She is competitive in all areas, not just this one. It is an especially sensitive area as I tend to win the other things she is competitive about. she isn't supportive in this or any other area lest she inadvertently help me win. It is all so silly and Winning doesn't matter a lick to me. I wish she were a partner in my weight loss and other areas but she is not and never will be.
You bring up a good point... I almost wonder if it is better not to say anything to her and just keep quiet. If I don't talk to her about my weight and just stick to eating healthy and working out on my own maybe she will cool down and not be so competetive for a while... ? Hmm... thanks.
Kae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 02:18 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
medinazarley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Medina, Oh
Posts: 234

S/C/G: 267/ticker/145

Height: 5'9"

Default

my guess is that she, like most people, doesn't realize how big she is and just knows how big everyone else is. maybe when she realized that you arent that much bigger than her now, she finally realize how big she is, and it's tough for her.
__________________
medinazarley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 02:20 PM   #10
Calorie counter
 
Eliana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,679

Height: 5'4.5"

Default

I can not relate. I have a brother who always weighed 118 pounds soaking wet. Now he's putting on a good bit of weight in the belly...and he's proud of it!! LOL!

I think I'd probably confront her and ask what's up. But my relationship with my brother is so different than it would be with a sister.
__________________
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
Eliana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 02:25 PM   #11
Kae
. * . * . * . * . * . * .
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,141

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by medinazarley View Post
my guess is that she, like most people, doesn't realize how big she is and just knows how big everyone else is. maybe when she realized that you arent that much bigger than her now, she finally realize how big she is, and it's tough for her.
That crossed my mind too... I don't think she has admitted it to herself yet. I know she is struggling with trying to lose weight but she also doesn't want to do it the 'right way.' She is still tryin to switch between eating all kinds of junk food and eating nothing and exercising a lot...
Kae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 02:26 PM   #12
Never want to go back!
 
CLCSC145's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,804

S/C/G: 338.4/190.8/165

Height: 6 ft

Default

Stuff like this makes me glad I'm an only child!

It sounds like a good bit of her identity and self-worth is wrapped up in being "the smaller sister" and you are challenging that. I agree that separating your journey a bit from her is the right way to go for your own sanity, but don't expect the competition and snark to disappear, especially as you pass her!
__________________
CLCSC145 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 02:29 PM   #13
Kae
. * . * . * . * . * . * .
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,141

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CLCSC145 View Post
Stuff like this makes me glad I'm an only child!

It sounds like a good bit of her identity and self-worth is wrapped up in being "the smaller sister" and you are challenging that. I agree that separating your journey a bit from her is the right way to go for your own sanity, but don't expect the competition and snark to disappear, especially as you pass her!
Thanks... I'll definately have to remember to separate myself from her with the weightloss thing so I don't go insane. You make a good point...
Kae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 03:41 PM   #14
Senior Member
 
170starting's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Southern Maryland
Posts: 631

S/C/G: ticker

Height: 5'6.25''

Default

I had a friend that was ultra-competetive when it came to dieting...We were actually best friends for a few years. We would start off great and supportive of eachother... well, all of that changed when I began to lose more quickly than she did, and in different areas than she did. She would not do her weigh-ins in front of me anymore. When I would tell her what I lost, she would say she beat me... every week. SO... in order to help the problem I just started lying and saying I didnt lose anything... She came around again but discovered I was lying when I dropped sizes. That was years ago and now I am back on the weight-loss wagon. I do not look for competition at all anymore, I look for support and opportunities to support others. It makes a huge difference.
__________________


My Diet Blog:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/170starting/
170starting is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 04:18 PM   #15
❈ 1 w/ the wind 'n sky ❈
 
Elladorine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,959

S/C/G: 360/236/150

Height: 5' 8"

Default

I've never had a sister to "compete" with, but this makes me think of one of my old best friends, who like me, always struggled with her weight.

It seems like she grew up in direct competition with a slightly older sister over a lot more than just weight. Anyway, she was 90 pounds soaking wet . . . until she had her third baby. My friend was elated to see her sister's pant size go from a 2 as a teenager to a 20 as a mom when she herself had been a 20/22 since she was a teenager. I figured it was the wrong way to look at things, but my friend argued that she deserved the weight gain for being mean and teasing her over being the "fatty" for all those years.

I think the whole weight-loss thing tends to bring out the green-eyed monster in most girls . . . this same old friend stopped speaking to me last fall when I told her I'd lost a substantial amount of weight . . . but in our case I thought we were in this together as we used to diet, work out, and discuss ideas about weight loss together. I never thought it would be a competition between us, of all people . . .
__________________

Visit Elladorine.com to see my 150 lb. progress photos & more!Facebook Twitter

★ Goal for 2013: Healthy Pregnancy, Healthy Baby REACHED 12-11-13
★ Goal for 2015: Get under 200 pounds once and for all!!! ★
Elladorine is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Green Eyed Monster VS. My Sister... Kae 100 lb. Club 14 11-07-2009 08:55 PM
My little brother and I beautifulmess 20-Somethings 33 07-06-2009 01:03 PM
Around we go again with the friendly chicks #7 Shad Support Groups 513 09-16-2005 05:16 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:59 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2