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Major Boy Trouble, HELP PLEASE!

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Old 01-11-2010, 10:23 AM   #1
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Unhappy Major Boy Trouble, HELP PLEASE!

So, I was talking with my bf last night.. & he tells me that he has feelings for another girl and wants to go out with her. My heart sank. He told me he's known her before we met (we've been together for 2 1/2 years..long distance, like an hour away) and he's like her ever since. He didn't go out with her b/c she had a bf then and he moved on and met me.

So, he recently started talking to her again & he finds out that she likes him alot too. So, he just up & dumps me for her. He just throws away all our love, memories, and future together for a secret crush he's had on this girl just bc he finds out she likes him too. Wtf? If he really loved me and cared for me he would want to just be with me only. He would be loyal and caring. He would tell her that he's found someone & they can be friends. I would have had no problem with that. I guess he didn't love me after all, if he's willing to give everything we had away for another girl. So, whatever, i'm talking to him about it tonight...lets see how things go. *sob* *sigh*
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:41 AM   #2
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I know you're hurting now, but your boyfriend does not deserve you. You deserve someone who will treat you right, will love you and respect you.
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:43 AM   #3
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Boys suck sometimes Hannah. Sorry to hear he's putting you through this.

For many people, the grass always looks greener on the other side and they forget to appreciate what they have. The excitement of a lost crush returning will often seem more exciting than the everyday (although perhaps great) person you're with.

Hang in, it will get better. I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but I would let him go. It's possible he will realize he's made a big mistake and his dream girl isn't all he's dreamt she would be.

Of course, it's also possible that should he decide he wants you back, you will be so far along your own personal journey of fabulousness, you won't be interested.
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:57 AM   #4
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He'll probably be back... don't make it easy if he does....

one more thing...put your energy into getting yourself together..don't get derailed.
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:57 AM   #5
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I know it's hard...but if he's willing to do this to you, what does it say about him - as a person and a boyfriend?

It hurts, but count yourself lucky you found this out about him NOW, before you made plans to relocate to be with him, etc. Use your frustration and anger and hurt and POUR it into your workouts. Become better for YOU, and move on from this guy.
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Old 01-11-2010, 10:58 AM   #6
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sorry this happened, but yeah, let him go - he isn't the right one for you if this is happening. Give yourself some time to mourn and focus on yourself and your goals and I bet that in a few weeks, you don't even miss him at all!!

But don't stay in contact with him and try and convince him to stay with you - any man who has to be talked into being with you isn't a man you want to be with.
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Old 01-11-2010, 11:13 AM   #7
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I'm with everyone else. Obviously you value yourself and are working on making yourself healthier so don't waste your time on someone that clearly doesn't value you. I know you are hurting right now but it will pass, not this week or maybe not this month but love yourself enough to let him go. He needs to pursue his fantasy but don't let his fantasy destroy you and how you see yourself.
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Old 01-11-2010, 11:44 AM   #8
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I could have written this post myself. In a similar situation. Hang in there baby! Walk away.
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Old 01-11-2010, 12:09 PM   #9
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Thanks everyone! I am hurting a lot.. but i've decided that i'm going to still be friends, keep in touch every once in awhile with him and wish him the best of luck with whatever he wants. I'm moving on.
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Old 01-11-2010, 12:30 PM   #10
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I agree with all the above. Smart move to move on. Guys like this will do it again .
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Old 01-11-2010, 12:33 PM   #11
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Oh wow that sounds so tough. I am so sorry sweetie. He doesn't deserve you though. Just keep your head high, work on yourself and I am sure the right guy will come along. Hope you are doing okay. Hugs.
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Old 01-11-2010, 12:35 PM   #12
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Omgoodness. I am sorry. I wouldn't talk to him about anything, anymore. Period. I wouldn't have anything to do with him ever again. Period. If a man ever told me that I could never, ever trust him with my feelings again. Period. I know it's hard. If this is what he's about, you are so much better off knowing now. Your real prince and life awaits after all!!!
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Old 01-11-2010, 12:54 PM   #13
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((hugs)) I say move on sweetie... It sounds like he was just waiting for her to become single so he could make his move. You deserve someone who wants to be with you. You do NOT deserve to be treated like you are nothing more than a time passer for some idiot. There is a guy out there somewhere who will treat you the way you deserve.
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Old 01-11-2010, 01:11 PM   #14
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Well...at least you just lost 200 ugly unnecessary pounds! Right? But seriously, any woman who steals a man away from another woman will have the same thing done to her one day. Gosh I hope that makes sense.
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Old 01-11-2010, 01:15 PM   #15
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I think you solved your own questions when you wrote:

If he really loved me and cared for me he would want to just be with me only.

he doesn't, so don't agonize over the 'why nots' of this world; you'll find someone who DOES eventually and this will be a mere blip on the radar. In the meantime, let yourself grieve for a while but don't give him total control over your life by letting yourself get derailed! Big Hugz from all of us hun
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