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I'm scared it's all going to end.

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Old 01-08-2010, 12:40 PM   #1
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Unhappy I'm scared it's all going to end.

Sometimes I worry that my weight loss is just going to stop. Now because i go off plan or stop exercising, but because I'm truly destined to be fat forever. Now logically i know this is not true. I know that if I stay on plan I will lose weight, but I've never been a normal weight and as i get smaller, sometimes I worry that it will all end I will just stop losing and I will be fat forever.

Does anyone else feel this way?
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Old 01-08-2010, 12:47 PM   #2
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I have felt doomed in that way before, especially since I lost over 100 pounds in the past then gained it all plus some back!

What I know is this:

It isn't true.

We can do this.

It's human to feel as we do sometimes.

Consistency is king.

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Old 01-08-2010, 12:53 PM   #3
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Mikayla, we've all felt this way at one time or another. If you go off your plan, you just have to dust yourself off and get back on. You can't let your fears control you. I'm terrified in my weight loss journey, I've never been thin. I ask friends if they can picture me thin cause I can't. I've been heavy since I was in 3rd grade and been in a size 18 since high school. We are all in this together. I need you just as much as you need may need us!!
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Old 01-08-2010, 12:55 PM   #4
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Yeah, absolutely. All the time. Then I have to remind myself that it's not personal. What I mean is, I am not broken, or weird, or damned & deserving of punishment. And that I should not engage in magical thinking. (I am prone to magical thinking.) There's science involved in this whole project. If the weight loss stops, or rather, pauses, there's a reason. It's not going to be "taken from me." Except through my own actions.

Now you can be fat forever, in your own mind, even if your body is thin. But that's another issue entirely ....
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Old 01-08-2010, 12:57 PM   #5
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At my highest weight I felt I was truly destined to be fat. Once I got below 330, I knew that I had a chance. You should be proud, you are under 200 lbs and really if your weight loss stops then that just means you need a new strategy.
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Old 01-08-2010, 01:05 PM   #6
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Wow. I'm actually a little saddened that you feel this way after losing 80 lbs. I thought eventually my own thinking would work itself out! Seriously though, yes, I definitely think this way. In fact, just last night I slept really heavy or something. I woke up and just ached. I felt like a big brown bear had crawled in and slept on top of me in the night. Oh, it hurt to move, I felt so heavy. I lay there thinking, oh no, all the weight came back on last night. I ran through what I had eaten the day before. Then when I weighed in, I had actually lost .6 pounds from yesterday. So I don't know why I ached so. But it's a very real fear. It's absurd to think I'd put back on nearly 30 lbs in one night even though I was on plan, but there it is. It was a real fear.

I fear very much that this weight loss is going to stop. But I have tricks in my back pocket. When/if I stall out, first I'll increase my calories. If that doesn't work I'll do Phase I of South Beach. (Been there, done that, know I could do it again.) If that doesn't work I'll add exercise. If that doesn't work...well I'll cry! LOL! But seriously, if that doesn't work I think I'll focus on maintaining to re-set my body, if there's any real science to that, and then I know that would have to work.

Hang in there. We're all right there with you.
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Old 01-08-2010, 01:16 PM   #7
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Quote:
In fact, just last night I slept really heavy or something. I woke up and just ached. I felt like a big brown bear had crawled in and slept on top of me in the night. Oh, it hurt to move, I felt so heavy. I lay there thinking, oh no, all the weight came back on last night. I ran through what I had eaten the day before. Then when I weighed in, I had actually lost .6 pounds from yesterday. So I don't know why I ached so. But it's a very real fear.
Oh. My. God. This. Exactly. I could have written this. And thank you for your image of the big brown hibernating bear.

I always think one of the most relieved moments of my life is when I wake up in the morning, sling my legs over the side of the bed, get ready to stand up, and see that my legs **are still thin.** Just like they were the night before, when I last saw them. The fat didn't all come back in the night & bury me in a landslide. It didn't grow back, like a culture in a petri dish.

Like I said, I am prone to magical thinking.
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Old 01-08-2010, 01:19 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by saef View Post
Oh. My. God. This. Exactly. I could have written this. And thank you for your image of the big brown hibernating bear.

I always think one of the most relieved moments of my life is when I wake up in the morning, sling my legs over the side of the bed, get ready to stand up, and see that my legs **are still thin.** Just like they were the night before, when I last saw them. The fat didn't all come back in the night & bury me in a landslide. It didn't grow back, like a culture in a petri dish.

Like I said, I am prone to magical thinking.
And you are not helping either! LOL! You have lost all your weight and still have this ridiculous fear? Is there hope for any of us?
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Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






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Old 01-08-2010, 01:27 PM   #9
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I feel this way every time I hit one of my stupid, relentless, killer plateaus. Logically I know that the fat *has* to give at some point, but boy, does it ever not feel like it's going to right now. It's a totally normal fear, I think. After all, we probably wouldn't have gotten morbidly obese in the first place if we didn't engage in a little psychological self-sabotage every once in awhile.
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Old 01-08-2010, 01:40 PM   #10
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Greetings!

Once I crossed that 200 threshold, I literally held my breath. I was so sure that my body would "rebel" at falling under 200 and simply stop. I had this strange idea that my weight loss had been done without my "body's" consent, and that eventually it would find out what I was doing and put a stop to it.

Then, that next week, I saw 198...and 195...and 192...and I realized that this was actually happening. My greatest "fear" now is where my body WILL eventually stop, and if I'll be ready to accept my body at that point.
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Old 01-08-2010, 01:55 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Forgotten Quill View Post
Greetings!

Once I crossed that 200 threshold, I literally held my breath. I was so sure that my body would "rebel" at falling under 200 and simply stop. I had this strange idea that my weight loss had been done without my "body's" consent, and that eventually it would find out what I was doing and put a stop to it.
Wow! I thought I was the only one who felt this way.

I feel like me and my body are in a locked battle of the wills.

Me: "I'm only feeding you 1200 cals per day 234!@$#%#^#^!!

My Body: Ha! Yeah? You think you're smarter than me? I'll just slow down my metabolism. Who told you I wanted to lose weight???

Me: I'll exercise more.

My Body: HAheeehaheeee (cue evil laughter) You've never heard of the THRIFTY GENE????: (repeating three times in an incantational tone...) if you don't quit, you can't fail...if you don't quit, you can't fail... if you don't quit, you can't fail....
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Old 01-08-2010, 02:11 PM   #12
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My mind wonders back to those days when I was eating and felt I couldn't stop. The days when I said I didn't care (but really did) and ate anyway. Sometimes I feel like the compulsion that has been removed is a gift and it can be taken away...at anytime! BUT today I can make choices. Today I have tools. Today I can ask for help. I still get scared and then I pray for peace.
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Old 01-08-2010, 02:12 PM   #13
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Yes, this is where I am right now. My body is not getting with the programme, even though I have been very much sticking to it. There are probably hundreds of good reasons why I'm currently stalled (and, yes, I am being very stringent) and I can tell them to myself over and over again, but somewhere, in the back of my mind, there is an ugly little voice telling me that this is it, I'm not going any lower, I am absolutely doomed to stay just over 200 pounds, like it or not.

That ugly little voice can bite me. Sooner or later, my recalcitrant body is going to have to give up, because I am determined to out wait it.
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Old 01-08-2010, 04:18 PM   #14
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Thanks guys, it's nice to know I'm not alone.
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Old 01-08-2010, 04:24 PM   #15
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I can identify with being scared it's going to end and I'm zooming along. I think it's because A) I've never maintained my weight. Ever. I'm always either losing or gaining. I have no idea how it's going to feel to maintain. I worry I won't be able to; and B) I have a pretty good imagination, but I can't picture myself living long term as a thin person. I can hardly picture a thin me in my mind. So if I can't imagine it, it's hard to believe it's a dream that's going to come true.

But that's just all fear of the unknown. I'm really good at fear of the unknown! And my general MO is to run from fear. The trick is to fight through it and prove to ourselves that we can have the life we want.
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