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Old 01-07-2010, 04:43 PM   #1
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Default Coffee with my friend

I had a really odd experience today.

A close friend came over for coffee. I don't think of her as being obese-- kind of typical middle-aged overweight, but slimmer than me, even after all my loss.

Anyway, she told me that she admired me for doing something that almost 100% of people WANT to do, but almost nobody ever succeeds at.

And I was so surprised by this. I'm so used to stopping by 3FC that I think a LOT of people succeed at weight loss. I don't think of it as rare at all.

But, when I think about my own life, really, I only know one person who lost 100 pounds without any kind of surgery, and that's my uncle.

But maybe a lot of people lose a lot of weight, but it takes time and they move around, so nobody really realizes it.
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End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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Old 01-07-2010, 04:45 PM   #2
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You know, I somewhat agree. I also think that surgery is SOOO thrown out there these days that people are beginning to think surgery is the ONLY option. We are a "fast food" society. We want the fast fix to everything and many people think surgery is the only thing that might work for them. I was one of those people. Thank heavens I tried whole foods and calorie counting first. I have seen first hand that surgery is NO walk in the park and definitely NOT the answer for me.
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Old 01-07-2010, 04:48 PM   #3
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You know, I somewhat agree. I also think that surgery is SOOO thrown out there these days that people are beginning to think surgery is the ONLY option. We are a "fast food" society. We want the fast fix to everything and many people think surgery is the only thing that might work for them. I was one of those people. Thank heavens I tried whole foods and calorie counting first. I have seen first hand that surgery is NO walk in the park and definitely NOT the answer for me.
This is true. But for the grace of God, I would have done surgery, and it would NOT have been the right choice for me.

And funny enough, I used to be CONVINCED that my uncle had lost his weight through a secret lap-band even though I used to see him tracking his calories on his PDA.

(he kept his off too, bless his heart.)
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End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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Old 01-07-2010, 04:55 PM   #4
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3FC is such an incredibly valuable resource for me because I don't know anyone in real life who has lost a lot of weight and kept it off. In fact, not even half or a third of what I've lost. Neither does my doctor, who says I'm her only patient to have done it.

So if it wasn't for 3FC, it would be hard for me to believe that weight loss maintenance is possible. Back in the summer of 2002, when I reached goal, I knew that I was very good at weight loss -- but was terrified of maintenance. No one talked about it; everyone assumed that the job was done once goal was reached. What to do? I didn't know a soul who had done successfully maintained a loss but I came here and met several big losers, who had lost a lot of weight and kept it off for years, and learned their secret -- to maintain their losses, every day they do the things they did to lose the weight. So simple but who knew!

So 3FC has been my lifeline. I don't know if I could have kept the weight off without it, but I'm thankful that I never had to find out.
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Old 01-07-2010, 05:17 PM   #5
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Meg, you are an inspiration I love your profile picture!
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Old 01-07-2010, 05:51 PM   #6
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I agree about 3fc. Before I found this site, I did not know of anyone who had lost so much weight like some of the ladies here...... and kept it off. I thought losing 100 pounds had to be surgery. I think one of the most pivital moments in me surfing here.... (and please, please, please forgive me if I put the wrong person with the wrong statement) was when RockinRobin said what she did the day after she hit maintence. She got up, ate the same food, did the same exercise, and planned just like she was still losing. This hit me like a ton of bricks. It engraved in my mind that this is forever..... and not to do anything that I would not mind keeping up.

I am 10 pounds away from being at my final goal. However, the day after I hit my goal, I will be at fitness boot camp, I will eat either oatmeal or a boiled egg for breakfast, whatever I bring for lunch, and a healthy supper (with healthy snacks in between).......instead of a McDonalds breakfast with a bucket size latte, Burger King lunch, and then the all you can eat buffet for supper. It is just like that from now on. Am I okay with it.... yes, because I love what I can do now. I love what this body reflects of me now. It is a choice..... and I chose life.... I chose to live life and not have to sit on the couch. I think the couch should only be for when you have the flu and you are tired of the bed!

Ubergirl--- Great Job! And, it is nice to have a compliment.... no matter what size the person is.
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:10 PM   #7
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I live in a small town and there are a lot of women (lot's of single women, undesirable guys and professional women and lot's of lesbians in fact ratio wise for our small population, we have a pretty artsy side to aside from the mining industry and tourism, sorry off topic here) here and in the last few years as they reach a certain age, in there 30's they've lost the weight I can think of at least 6 or 7 women who have lost a significant amount of weight and I can think of maybe 2 or 3 guys that have as well. Small community and we have a great support system. I want to be one of them! I headed back to the gym today.
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:30 PM   #8
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Several years ago I lost 70lbs. After I lost the weight my dad called me his hero; I had set out to do something that most people can't do and I had accomplished it. But I regained about half of that within the next year. I had lost the weight but had never even heard the concept of 'maintainence' so quickly fell back into old habits., thinking my weight problems were over.

I think I have been reluctant to lose the weight again because I was convinced that I would eventually re-gain. I lost the weight the first time with portion control, eating a lot of foods I normally didn't eat {salads, etc} and beginning to exercise. I found I enjoyed exercise, and in some ways it has become and obsession. Now, I have retaken these same steps, but am not seeing the same results as before. If I regained while exercising to programs such as P90x and eating 'normally' what drastic steps would I have to take to lose again and keep the weight off this time.

I have made several half-hearted attempts in the past 6 months, since finding Chicks, trying different things to lose my weight. I have found that for me the bottom line is if I want to lose the weight this is what I have to do, accept it, get over it, do it! I may be rebellious and unhappy at times, experience set-backs, but in the end, when I reach goal, I will be much happier with myself.

And learn how to maintain this time!
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:41 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg View Post
3FC is such an incredibly valuable resource for me because I don't know anyone in real life who has lost a lot of weight and kept it off. In fact, not even half or a third of what I've lost. Neither does my doctor, who says I'm her only patient to have done it.

So if it wasn't for 3FC, it would be hard for me to believe that weight loss maintenance is possible. Back in the summer of 2002, when I reached goal, I knew that I was very good at weight loss -- but was terrified of maintenance. No one talked about it; everyone assumed that the job was done once goal was reached. What to do? I didn't know a soul who had done successfully maintained a loss but I came here and met several big losers, who had lost a lot of weight and kept it off for years, and learned their secret -- to maintain their losses, every day they do the things they did to lose the weight. So simple but who knew!

So 3FC has been my lifeline. I don't know if I could have kept the weight off without it, but I'm thankful that I never had to find out.
Support is just so vital and so key. I really do believe I never would have made it this far without it.

I remember coming here and seeing all of the progress pictures and realizing that this board was about DIET not WLS and that people here had lost big amounts of weight and I was like WOW. But the funny thing is, it took me two years. I spent about one week on the boards back in 2007 and quickly abandoned it. Then somehow this time, something just clicked.

And I know that even when I hit maintenance. I'll still be here.
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End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:45 PM   #10
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Isn't it funny how all of a sudden it just clicks? I don't know what makes it.... I am just glad it does!
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:51 PM   #11
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And I know that even when I hit maintenance. I'll still be here.
I'm saving you a seat. You are going to love maintenance land! The only downside is that buying excessive amounts of cute little clothes can get expensive.
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Old 01-07-2010, 07:02 PM   #12
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I lost over 130 pounds 10 years ago and while I recall thinking all the right things ("lifestyle change", forever, don't revert to old habits, etc.). I still did revert and gain it all back and then some. I am coming to see through 3FC that I never considered what maintenance really meant or entailed. To know that the difference between losing and maintaining might be as little as 100 calories a day was eye opening to me. And I also didn't have any weight loss role models - people I could look at and say, ah, not only did they lose what I did, but they are keeping it off and oh, that's how they're doing it!

I feel like being here and staying accountable is another piece of the puzzle I didn't have last time around. Will it be enough? I don't know, I certainly hope so! But if it's not enough, it's comforting to know that I have people who understand my struggles and have been there and can show me any other pieces I didn't know I needed until I needed it.
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Old 01-07-2010, 07:12 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ubergirl View Post
I had a really odd experience today.

A close friend came over for coffee. I don't think of her as being obese-- kind of typical middle-aged overweight, but slimmer than me, even after all my loss.

Anyway, she told me that she admired me for doing something that almost 100% of people WANT to do, but almost nobody ever succeeds at.
How wonderful that your friend put into words how she felt about your accomplishment!! That kind of support is so important.
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Old 01-07-2010, 08:11 PM   #14
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That's so nice of your friend to say! So often, we see the positive but never say anything, always focusing on the negative--you must feel so good!

I agree about 3FC--I always wonder how many people out there must be trying to lose weight and maintain if 98% fail--because there are so many here that succeed! I guess it makes sense though, there are TONS of people out there trying to lose weight.
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Old 01-07-2010, 08:33 PM   #15
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I SO, SO, SO agree about the power of the 3FC!!! When I came I had lost some weight already (down about 30-35 pounds or so). I had joined ONE very sleepy weightloss forum and just knew there had to be a GOOD one "out there." Yay for Google--I found 3FC. The knowledge I have found here has been amazing and instrumental for me. The support has not been matched anywhere for me--ever.

So, in short--(well, kinda short) THANKS LADIES!
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