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Eminent help needed! What do you do when your an emotional wreck (other than eat)?

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Old 01-03-2010, 08:29 PM   #1
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Exclamation Eminent help needed! What do you do when your an emotional wreck (other than eat)?

I'm pretty new to recommitting myself to getting healthy and have hit a bump in the road.

I just got home from the grocery store. I ran into my 9 year old son that is the light of my life that I recently lost custody of after a 3 year court case. He was with his step mom. OUCH! The court case was very ugly and emotionally wrenching for all involved. Vicious vicious uglies were exchanged every couple of months in court documents and in person until the final court date in Sept where I lost custody. I can safely say, my ex/his new wife and I are lifelong enemies.

When we were at the store, my son didn't come over to me nor did I approach them. He made eye contact, waved and smiled weakly. I felt like I was kicked in the gut. I literally was so startled by the unexpected encounter that I became nauseous and light headed. I immediately ended the shopping trip and headed for the check out counter. It's a small store any they ended up checking out at the same time.

Have you ever unexpectedly seen someone you love in public with someone else after a break up? That is the closest I can compare the feeling to.



I wanted to go straight the Teriyaki place next door and get something very unhealthy for myself but didn't as I was in a bigger hurry to get the **** out of the parking lot.

Ugh. My old habit is to eat like crazy at times like these but I know that hasn't ever helped. I called a friend but the call went to voicemail so I am hear hoping to get a kind word and some wisdom to keep me out of the fridge/drive through/chip bag/liquor store....etc.
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Old 01-03-2010, 08:32 PM   #2
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I come here and read the success stories and look at the pics. I am sorry about your situation and you are in my prayers
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Old 01-03-2010, 08:36 PM   #3
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I'm so sorry for what you went through. Please stay strong==get healthy and even more gorgeous than you are now! Build your self esteem, take some classes, join some clubs. We love you!
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Old 01-03-2010, 08:39 PM   #4
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Default Thank you.

I posted my plea and then read your post about missing your husband and now am really emotional. What crappy things some people go through. The loss of a husband to death is major...makes losing custody not so tragic.

Either way though, thanks for your support.
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Old 01-03-2010, 08:41 PM   #5
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Good for you for coming home, calling your friend, and when the call didn't go thru - you logged on here!! How strong you are!!

I'm so, so sorry you lost custody of your son (with all the ugly things leading up to that) and that you saw him at the store today.

When I'm upset and trying not to wreck my eating plan, one of the few things that helps me is doing something with my hands. Painting, writing, thumping clay.

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Old 01-03-2010, 08:44 PM   #6
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Tell yourself that eating won't make it better... a bubble bath or reading on here WILL. And that time will help but food won't...

I am SO sorry you are going through this. A good mother should never be without her child.
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Old 01-03-2010, 08:45 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle98272 View Post
I posted my plea and then read your post about missing your husband and now am really emotional. What crappy things some people go through. The loss of a husband to death is major...makes losing custody not so tragic.

Either way though, thanks for your support.
You are welcome and thank you very much
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Old 01-03-2010, 08:52 PM   #8
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I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I usually de-stress by coming on here, caling a friend (both of which you did-kudos), taking a drive, working out, or journaling.
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Old 01-03-2010, 09:07 PM   #9
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Oh how heartwrenching. Hugs to you.

When I am an emotional wreck here is what I do instead of eating. I cry.

Might sound ridiculous to say but this is new behavior for me. I was so used to stuffing down the feelings with food, trying to distract myself from my emotions, that it was a real breakthrough when I just learned to feel them.

It is VERY HARD to feel some of these things but after I have paid in my bed screaming into my pillow and crying my head off, I do feel like I have worked through *something.*

And THEN I go distract myself with a walk or a hobby or some friends.

I hope this helps somehow. I am so sorry you are going through this.
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Old 01-03-2010, 09:12 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyn2007 View Post
Oh how heartwrenching. Hugs to you.

When I am an emotional wreck here is what I do instead of eating. I cry.

Might sound ridiculous to say but this is new behavior for me. I was so used to stuffing down the feelings with food, trying to distract myself from my emotions, that it was a real breakthrough when I just learned to feel them.

It is VERY HARD to feel some of these things but after I have paid in my bed screaming into my pillow and crying my head off, I do feel like I have worked through *something.*

And THEN I go distract myself with a walk or a hobby or some friends.

I hope this helps somehow. I am so sorry you are going through this.
Thanks for the advice...I usually try not to cry because I have a hard time stopping once I start. (Years of bottled up feelings?) But this afternoon, after I posted here, read Onderchicks post about losing her husband...a sad song came on the radio and the dam burst and I was finally able to cry. I haven't cried in literally 6 months. I do feel better. Just acknowledging that I AM sad and have a good reason to be sad is a start for me. I usually just tell myself "it is what it is" and then eat.
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Old 01-03-2010, 09:14 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aclai4067 View Post
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I usually de-stress by coming on here, caling a friend (both of which you did-kudos), taking a drive, working out, or journaling.
Thanks, I think journaling might be helpful work for me!
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Third Mini-Goal: Lost 10% body weight (27 lbs down) Met 9/13/2010
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Old 01-03-2010, 09:15 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cfmama View Post
Tell yourself that eating won't make it better... a bubble bath or reading on here WILL. And that time will help but food won't...

I am SO sorry you are going through this. A good mother should never be without her child.
Thanks for your good advice.
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Second Mini-Goal: 20 lbs. down Met 4/23/2010
Third Mini-Goal: Lost 10% body weight (27 lbs down) Met 9/13/2010
Fourth Mini-Goal: Lose 8 more lbs to = 40 lbs lost :
Back on track:9/5/2011 First goal: get back to 246
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Old 01-03-2010, 09:22 PM   #13
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Sorry for your bad day!
Along with the advice the others gave. I will do something like wash walls, something very physical that I can get into and tire myself out. It helps to work out all that anger and what not. Every swipe with the rag or sponge or whatever is someones a**.
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Old 01-03-2010, 10:56 PM   #14
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Default Crisis Averted

Thank you for all your help! I made it through the wanting to stuff my face.
I posted here, read a lot of posts, drank some water, called my mom, listened to music, finally cried and then went to clean the kitchen.

While I was cleaning the kitchen I found a pound of sliced mushrooms in the fridge that I didn't get around to eating this past week that were on the verge of being yucky. I sauteed them in 1 tbs real butter & 1 clove of garlic. To that I added two tbs of spaghetti sauce and put it over a slice of lightly buttered garlic toast. I drank a large glass of ice water. I didn't figure out calories but feel satisfied with my big amount of food with relatively few calories vs. Jack in the Box. I am sure the sodium was higher than a healthier meal would be but the main thing is I asked for help first rather than just eating my feelings.
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First Mini-Goal: Lose 10 lbs. Met 2/22/2010
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Third Mini-Goal: Lost 10% body weight (27 lbs down) Met 9/13/2010
Fourth Mini-Goal: Lose 8 more lbs to = 40 lbs lost :
Back on track:9/5/2011 First goal: get back to 246

Last edited by Michelle98272 : 01-03-2010 at 10:57 PM. Reason: Edited because I typed the same thing 2x.
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Old 01-04-2010, 05:03 AM   #15
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I am so sorry you are feeling so, so badly. I am sure it was an overwhelmingly emotional situation.

I didn't go to the Teriyaki place to binge. Good for you.

Posting here always helps.
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