LOL kaplods. Super Obese, hmmmmm a good superhero name could be Captain Flab.
Or, maybe Flabulous Woman
Hm, supervillains are always more interesting than the superheros, so I'm thinking maybe a catwoman style villain (skin-tight black pleather showing off all the rolls, and of course, I'd have a trail of chubby chaser henchmen).
Mistress Flabulous (Flabulous pronounced in drawn out drawl - Flaaaahbulous).
Hm, supervillains are always more interesting than the superheros, so I'm thinking maybe a catwoman style villain (skin-tight black pleather showing off all the rolls, and of course, I'd have a trail of chubby chaser henchmen).
Mistress Flabulous (Flabulous pronounced in drawn out drawl - Flaaaahbulous).
I really like that.....I totally missed pages 2 and 3 of this post but to come back to this is awesome! lol
It's already been mentioned, but I think a lot of people believe that when someone mentions their weight or how they're fat, they are deep down fishing for compliments. I get very frustrated when people complain about their weight to me(people on the thinner side) because I feel that they purposely seek out larger people to complain to so they can receive their validation. And when one of does that, perhaps in their minds we are doing the same thing they are(even if we are not) and it bothers them. Just my two cents; I am all for speaking the truth!
I don't think the word "stout" works for me. I am NOT a little teapot.
I occasionally just use the terms "big" or "plus size." I'm okay with "thick," but I don't really picture a fat woman when people say thick, I just picture a woman who has some fat (if that made sense to anyone but me). I'm also okay with "chubby", but like thick, I just don't feel like it describes me. "Fluffy", "squishy" or "pleasantly plump" are just obnoxiously optimistic to me. "Huskey" and "portly" are about the two worst words I can imagine.
I use the term obese when talking clinically about my weight and my progress, but I wouldn't be okay with anyone but a doctor calling me obese. When i'm just describing myself "fat" is my term of choice. It's acurate, it doesn't sugarcoat it, and it doesn't hurt me to say it.
I never called myself fat; I was always too embarrassed. But now that I'm thin, I adamantly REFUSE to call myself fat, ever. Those skinny girls who called themselves fat always annoyed the **** outta me. When I got home from X-mas break my mom got mad at me and told me I needed to gain some weight back because she thinks I have anorexia and explained to my brother that that means girls think they're fat when they're not, and I responded with "Are you CRAZY? I'm not fat at all!" and I then proceeded to go eat some oatmeal and ask what time dinner was at. I'm not sure if that's the reaction she was expecting...
Why does it make people of average size uncomfortable when you say you're fat?
Well, because they are embarrassed for you. Simple as that. It makes me uncomfortable when people call themselves fat, or dumb, or ugly, or any other flaw that I can see is the truth. Makes me feel badly and embarrassed for them. I never called myself fat in public even at over 300 pounds because everyone around me could see that I was morbidly obese, why draw more attention to an already uncomfortable subject.
Actually, this is a very interesting thread, and I agree that it is equally annoying when skinny chicks call themselves fat, and of course we all know that the majority of them are fishing for compliments...but what about the skinny chicks that go on about how skinny they are? This is more comparable to a fat chick going on about how fat they are in my opinion....both are sticky subjects and not a very worthy conversation topic in a private setting much less a work setting in my opinion. If I were in a situation 2 years ago that the OP was in with the car ride to the meeting, I would have simply requested the front seat and if anyone would have challenged me or questioned WHY, (which I'm sure no one would have even questioned it and therefore would be no need to add to the discussion that I was too FAT for the back seat...) I would have quitely said that I would be more comfortable in the front....period. What if one of the people going to the meeting were super thin and petite and said, "I have to sit in the car seat because I'm so thin and tiny"....People would be uncomfortable with that too don't you imagine? Or what if the pretty one said, I have to sit in the front because I'm so beautiful and I need everyone to see me better, and the brightest one said I need to drive because I'm so much smarter than everyone....It's crass.
Last edited by Lori Bell; 12-30-2009 at 05:44 PM.
Reason: darn internet connection problems!!!
I posted this question yesterday before leaving for work and just now came back in time to read the responses. Wow!! I really appreciate everyone's feedback. I can understand a bit better why people seem uncomfortable with me stating the obvious, that I am FAT. I am not going to stop saying it though (I truly don't say it very often and NEVER to get someone to tell me "you are not fat!") , crass or not. It is what it is...Thanks for your input.
Thank you ladies for a great laugh. One of the things I have been thinking about a lot lately as I begin my journey is how I am going to handle others' reactions to my changes. I thought, mortified, that if I ate differently they would all assume I was trying to lose weight. Then, by definition, I must be unhappy with my weight. I feel like I have to publicly admit that I am fat in order to lose weight. Does that make sense? It was very refreshing to hear your openness about "being fat." I clearly need to work on acceptance of the reality of my size. Maybe I should go to Lane Bryant and use your quote - that might help! LOL!
in regards to the OP's situation, I have the advantage of being taller than all of my friends (except the guys) so unless the boyfriends are with us I can pull the "i'm too tall for the back seat" card!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeachBreeze2010
I thought, mortified, that if I ate differently they would all assume I was trying to lose weight. Then, by definition, I must be unhappy with my weight. I feel like I have to publicly admit that I am fat in order to lose weight.
I used to feel like this in my earlier attempts to lose weight. The way I see it now is that everyone clearly knows I'm fat (even my VI friends can see THAT much) and I'd rather they see me working on it than ignoring it!
Why does it make people of average size uncomfortable when you say you're fat?
Well, because they are embarrassed for you. Simple as that. It makes me uncomfortable when people call themselves fat, or dumb, or ugly, or any other flaw that I can see is the truth. .
I am not ashamed of being fat. I don't feel I should be, and I don't feel anyone should be ashamed for me. I don't even consider my fat to be a flaw (just as I don't consider my diabetes to be a flaw. Both are not the best things in the world to be - neither are something to be proud of, both are to a degree my own fault as they're lifestyle-related, but I'm not ashamed of being either.
I find it offensive that fat is considered a bad word, and not just a descriptive one like tall, short, blonde or thin. I feel it shouldn't be a bad word, it shouldn't be an offensive word. Realistically, I know that in this society it IS a bad word, but the only way to make it NOT a bad word is to use it - so I do - and I tell people WHY I use the word (and often, they stop being embarassed about the word. They don't always choose to use it, but they understand why I do).
My best friend (gay male) once told me that he didn't like me using the word "fat" to describe myself so often and so casually, and I asked him did he have a problem calling himself "gay?" He said, "of course not."
I asked "even though other people use it as a bad word and a nasty name?"
I think he understood, because he smiled, and I said.
"I'm a fabulous person, I just also happen to be a fat - in fact, a very fat fabulous person."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell
What if one of the people going to the meeting were super thin and petite and said, "I have to sit in the car seat because I'm so thin and tiny"....People would be uncomfortable with that too don't you imagine? Or what if the pretty one said, I have to sit in the front because I'm so beautiful and I need everyone to see me better, and the brightest one said I need to drive because I'm so much smarter than everyone....It's crass.
Actually, I think these are poor parallels, as they are preferences - however not being able to fit comfortably in the back seat often isn't a preference, it's a need. And the person stating the need should have the right to state the need or explain the need as they see fit.
Many people may have the same need - a very tall person, a person with arthritis or other mobility or flexibility issues, a fat person - and they should be able to express that need without embarassment - and the degree to which they explain their need, should be their choice.
I have no problem saying "I am not going to fit in that space," whether that space is a car, a spindly armed-chair, a restaurant booth......
Usually stating the need without referring to the word "fat" does work fine - but you wouldn't believe how many times I've been asked "why" when I've tried to be subtle about such things, and I end up having to actually say "because I'm fat." I'm usually not rude enough to then say "Duh" (but I'm thinking it).
I find it offensive that fat is considered a bad word, and not just a descriptive one like tall, short, blonde or thin. I feel it shouldn't be a bad word, it shouldn't be an offensive word.
And the sad thing is that a lot of these words are also not descriptive; calling someone short is often considered offensive, and there is the whole stereotype of dumb blondes...
I think maybe society as a whole just really needs a wakeup call.
I was trying to make a photocopy at work the other day and there were some boxes stacked up in front of the copier. I said, I can not fit my fat *** through there. One of my coworkers hollered at me, YOU ARE NOT FAT!!!! (I think he has a little crush on me.) It was nice.
Hey, I know I won't say I am "Fat" I will say I am morbidly obese...whatcha think, is that better? "OMG, I am sorry I cannot sit there because I am morbidly obese." Why better. Almost like saying hey, I cannot eat that because I am allergic.
Last edited by wonderwitch121; 12-30-2009 at 11:09 PM.
But one interesting thing I've found is that I used to get paralyzed with shame whenever anyone started talking about dieting or weight loss or calorie counting or working out. I HATED it when people talked like that, (or when skinny girls said they needed to lose ten pounds...)
But weirdly enough, now I don't mind. I jump into conversations with the skinny girls about gyms and calories, and where I used to feel that those conversations were judging me, now I feel like the conversations are supportive. And the only thing that has changed is my mindset.
This is always something I struggle with. Sometimes, when I am not dieting, I feel like people are purposefully talking alot about diet and exercise around me in hopes that they will get me interested or educate me. I REAALLLLLY hate the assumption that because i'm fat i must not know about nutrition and weight loss. I've been struggling with my weight since I was 8 for goodness sakes! I knew how many calories were in a pound by the time I was 10! I know that a lot of the time they are just talking about it because that is what is on their mind but I have had people give unsolicited analyses of the food i am eating or my exercise regimen fairly regularly. maybe it is because i am in healthcare? dunno. So it is a sensitive issue for me. For me, the emotion i experience is not shame but defensiveness. Like a little kid I revert to a dont tell me what to do and how to do it mentality.
However, when I AM living a healthy lifestyle, these diet/exercise conversations ARE very supportive and enjoyable. Part of the change is that now we have something more in common, i suppose.
katkitten, you do have to choose your audience carefully, don't you? I also love talking about nutrution and fitness, but I try to make sure it doesn't offend. Sometimes to the point I think I'm very reticent about my journey. However it's all in the perception---if someone were uncomfortable with my changes they might accuse me of talking about it all the time (yeah, that has happened).
However I do think I've lost one more thing in losing weight. I used to look at people and see them as they were, static as it were. Now if I'm not careful when I look at larger people I can imagine what they would look like if they lost weight. Now, I NEVER say anything and I hope it doesn't show on my face but the thought does flit through my mind. Wierd, huh? OK, that might have been a bit off topic....back to our regularly scheduled programming.
) I would have quitely said that I would be more comfortable in the front....period. What if one of the people going to the meeting were super thin and petite and said, "I have to sit in the car seat because I'm so thin and tiny"....People would be uncomfortable with that too don't you imagine? Or what if the pretty one said, I have to sit in the front because I'm so beautiful and I need everyone to see me better, and the brightest one said I need to drive because I'm so much smarter than everyone....It's crass.
