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I'm in a bit of a pickle

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Old 12-29-2009, 12:21 PM   #1
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Unhappy I'm in a bit of a pickle

So most of you know I've lost 164 lbs in 15 months. I've done it through calorie counting, excerise and whole foods nutrition.

Well one of my GOOD friends is selling a detox line of nutrition products. Now I'm not denying that it WORKS and works WELL! She looks fantastic. But the REASON (imo) it works is that it's restricting calories and replacing nutrients that your body needs. It's an ENFORCED way of controlling your foods. I don't WANT to spend the $350 a month to do that! I can do that all on my own!

But of course she's always talking about it and I feel bad that I'm not doing it. I don't want to burn bridges and make her mad but I'm HAPPY on my journey and I'm doing something I can do for the rest of my life!!! I don't want to change to something else at this point.

Hrm. I guess I don't need advice (though it would be nice.) I just wanted to vent... anyone ever been in this situation?
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Old 12-29-2009, 12:41 PM   #2
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Slightly different, but I have a best friend who teaches piano lessons. I want my children to take piano lessons but we agreed a long time ago that no money should ever be exchanged between us. It's not goo even between the best of friends.

Maybe she's not really hinting at you, even though it may come across that way. Maybe she just wants to share in her joy for what worked for her. Absolutely I agree that you should keep on keepin' on! It's working for you and that seems to me a running theme around here. It's all about what works for YOU.
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Old 12-29-2009, 12:46 PM   #3
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$350 a month is waaaaaaaaaaay beyond friendship This is the kind of fretting I might do over not wanting to buy her kid's $5 fundraiser chocolate bar. Not spending freaking $350 a month would seriously affect the friendship?
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:03 PM   #4
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I had this same thing happen. A crazy friend of mine wanted me to get on this herbal plan that some friend of his was selling. He's a slim guy, but had lost twenty pounds on it, and supposedly the person selling it had lost 40 or 50.

EVERY time he saw me, he told me to get on this plan-- went to the website, gave me the card, the whole nine yards.

I just kept telling him that what I was doing was working and that I didn't really want to change anything. He kept insisting that this plan would work better.

He was driving me crazy, esp. since as an MD he should have been a little more scientific about the whole thing.

I just kept ignoring him and finally I guess he gave up-- although he did try to get me on the HCG diet later. UGH.
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:05 PM   #5
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A good friend won't expect you to pay to do something you are clearly doing well on your own, especially at such as expense. Don't mess with success!
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:07 PM   #6
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Yeah if she pushes I'd just be like "that's great for you- but I'm doing fine my way" and change the subject. Seriously if someone wants you to pay $350 or it might hurt your friendship than maybe they aren't really a good friend... I'd NEVER spend that money!

One of my client's sells supplements on his site and anytime he asks if I want I'm always like "no thank you" lol.
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:19 PM   #7
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Uhh, hello, you've lost 165lbs doing what you're doing. If I were your friend, I would leave it at that. Maybe If I knew you were having some trouble and wanted to try something new I would suggest it, but even so, you could buy enough groceries for a whole family on $350 a month, not just for one person, and still manage to be healthy. I would just be honest with her, and congratulate her on finding something that works for her. Either way, her loss too is an accomplishment, but she should understand that there are many paths that following similar principles that lead to weight loss, and that you don't have to use her program, especially since you've proved that you found what works for you.
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:29 PM   #8
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Remember they are TRAINED to get you to BUY! They might not realize they are over stepping their bounds... CUZ they are in sell, sell, sell mode. IMO
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:33 PM   #9
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cfmama, I think we have all had friends or relatives who at some point got in to some sort of a sales thing. Whether they are selling knives, electronics or weight loss systems, they are always trying to rope all of their friends and family in to it.

It is perfectly ok to say "No, thank you." Especially since you have already proven so spectacularly that you don't need her help in losing weight. If she is really a GOOD friend, she will be ok with you saying "No", and if she gets offended, maybe she needs a wakeup call. Your friendship should have a higher value to her than $350.

The fact that she is always talking about it can also mean that this is just something she is passionate about. She would have probably be talking to you about horses, dogs, sports, [fill in the blank] if that had been what she was it to. Has she actually suggested you try the system? Maybe she is not trying to push it, maybe she just likes to have a sounding board. Ask her if you aren't sure and ask her to stop if you are sure she is trying to sell it to you. Like I said, if she really is a GOOD friend, she will understand.

P.S. Kudos on the awesome results!
Keep up the good work.
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:34 PM   #10
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You ladies are ALL right. I just feel... kinda left out of the whole thing! All of our friends are doing the program and here I am... stuck in a plateau. lol!!! I don't WANT to do the program. I have no WISH to do it. It's hard to preach the virtues of healthful living though when everyone else gets to take that "magic pill" and lose weight Okay I know it's combined with actually sticking to the program as well but still! lol!

Thanks for letting me vent my friends!!!
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:40 PM   #11
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Is she nagging you to buy it? $350 a month??? HOLY CRAP.
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Old 12-29-2009, 02:14 PM   #12
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Think long term here...in a year or two I can almost guarantee most of them will be fat again because they can't take the products forever and most of those programs end up with weight GAIN...you are doing it the right way and will bust out of this plateau and zoom on to your goal weight. Seriously, they are probably going to gain it back because there is no "magic pill" ... do you want to be with them when that happens? NO, you want to still be healthy because you did the hard work of doing it the right way!!!!!!!!

Seriously...you can't sabotage your own health because of a friendship, and she will understand that if she really cares about you as a friend.
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Old 12-29-2009, 02:45 PM   #13
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It's really sad when friends decide to sell things. I've had this happen a couple of times. Once it was some sort of change-your-life course, another time it was environmentally friendly phone service... And both times, I was not interested. The unfortunate thing was that in both cases, if you bought the stuff, you were also supposed to get on the bandwagon and SELL the stuff to all YOUR friends. Agh. Anyway, I just said no... It meant some bad feelings for awhile between us. But I'm not about to be taken in by those schemes. And IMHO that's what they end up being.

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Old 12-29-2009, 02:54 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Purplefirefly View Post
Think long term here...in a year or two I can almost guarantee most of them will be fat again because they can't take the products forever and most of those programs end up with weight GAIN...you are doing it the right way and will bust out of this plateau and zoom on to your goal weight. Seriously, they are probably going to gain it back because there is no "magic pill" ... do you want to be with them when that happens? NO, you want to still be healthy because you did the hard work of doing it the right way!!!!!!!!
I totally agree with this- my friend started on a weight loss program where you had to spend all sorts of money- it did work- she did lose weight- she looks great. BUT last time I saw her it was so obvious she's gained a large amount back. I didn't say a word and later she acknowledged that the high cost was part of the reason she stopped. Programs that aren't able to be followed long term aren't the answer IMO.

And like others have said- you have lost 165 lbs! That's AMAZING!
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Old 12-29-2009, 03:08 PM   #15
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you guys are making me feel a LOT better about this. It's hard to stick to your guns when you see this amazing transformation of your friends... but you've all helped to remind me of MY amazing transformation. Amazing and SUSTAINED transformation.

My new mantra? It's working. Don't change a thing. It's working. Don't change a thing.

Now could someone give my plateau a huge kick in the ***? Thanks.
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