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My Mama Taught Me Better Than That!!!

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Old 12-29-2009, 11:46 AM   #1
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Unhappy My Mama Taught Me Better Than That!!!

This is what happened to me the other day (taken from my blog 299lbs.wordpress.com):

My fear is that someone is going to be rude, like this teenage boy at the bus the other day; ďLook at that fat girl sitting next to Fred!Ē, he whispered to a friend. I heard him. Of course I did. We always do. His other friend, Fred, sitting next to me replied ďNo, please donít say it out loud. Wait until we get off the bus.Ē. Bless his soul, the little brat named Fred. Because it sometimes happen that someone comments on my weight, and theyíre usually loud, obnoxious, little teens, itís quite the embarrassing and shameful event. Thatís why I pray a silent prayer every time I got to the gym; please, dear God, if you exist, donít let anyone be rude to me today here at this gym. I just know in my heart that if someone says something that I donít want or need to hear, Iím going to have a meltdown of some sort. And thatís simply because I donít have the confidence yet to carry both this excess weight and pride at the same time.

How rude is it possible to be!? It's 2010, people, time to keep our opinions to ourselves...

I guess that was just another bump in the ol' weight loss journey.
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Old 12-29-2009, 12:34 PM   #2
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I'm sorry, 299. People can be *so* cruel. And I agree-my mama taught me way better than that. It was drilled in our heads that you don't talk about the way people look, where they live or what they drive.
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Old 12-29-2009, 12:47 PM   #3
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That hurts, and unfortunately we are never immune to other peoples' rudeness. But I can tell you that as this weight comes off, you are going to feel better and better about yourself. You will be surprised by what 10 lbs will do for your confidence. Life will just get easier and easier with every pound you lose, and every compliment will hopefully outweigh all the negative from the past.

I don't know why our society is so prejudice against fat, like it's a disease people think they can catch.
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Old 12-29-2009, 12:54 PM   #4
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Once, a long time ago, I was walking down the street with my then little boy. A collage age boy said to me - Gosh - you need to lose some weight lady. It was the only time an almost adult ever said something randomly about my weight. I felt horrible. It just blurted out, "I may be fat but you are rude and stupid." That is very uncharacteristic for me. I felt bad about saying it - stooping to his level.

I never forgot that day and how bad and mad it made me.

Yes, people are rude and stupid sometimes. They just weren't brought up right. These people will always be around. Be proud of who and what you are no matter what. You are a special person!
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Old 12-29-2009, 12:56 PM   #5
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Sometimes I wish that we all got a freebie and smack people who are rude. I just don't get it...
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:14 PM   #6
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It frustrates me to no end how rude people can be to overweight people! Seriously you have no idea what that person is going through, why they are overweight- and so on. I could go on and on but bottom line it's not right to talk like that.
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Old 12-29-2009, 01:28 PM   #7
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I'm surprised I don't experience this more often. I am thankful that I am surrounded by friends and family that love and respect me for who I am, not what I weigh. I generally try to avoid the subject of weight with people, but every now and then I will confide in someone with my struggle. I think sometimes people say something that they think could have been perceived as negative towards my weight and it's awkward, but I often don't even assume that. For example, we were playing apples to apples at a friends, and the adjective was "Puffy" and my friend said, "That's what Rakel and I are." I thought nothing of it, and assume she meant the menstruation cycle because the card also said bloated on it, which is pretty obvious to me. But later my husband said that it was awkward because he thought she thought that I took it the wrong way... I didn't even think that she could have been referencing my weight, nor did I perceive any awkwardness but I guess I was just focusing on the game.

I've had more rude experiences when I was younger... I guess I was around teenage boys a lot more back in high school than I am now. I used to get random guys in the hall coming up to me and saying, "Hey, my friend here wants to go out with you, will you go out with him?" and the "friend" would be laughing or embarrassed and slink away. I always felt like they were being sarcastic picking on me for being overweight. I felt like they wanted me to say yes so they could laugh at me and "turn me down." Like I would ever fall for that! I just ignored them, moved on and felt a little sorry for myself that I never got any real offers.
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Old 12-29-2009, 02:17 PM   #8
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I work in a public library and it's pretty amazing the way people treat strangers in public. I've also had strangers comment on my weight, and no matter how hard you try to rise above it, it hurts. It hurts a LOT. I'm sorry you ran into an ill-mannered little brat.

Having said that, I don't think that would happen to you at the gym. Even at my high weight, no one was ever anything less than pleasant to me at the gym (if they weren't ignoring me completely, which was also fine). Most people are there to do their thing, and they're not interested in what anyone else is doing. If they *are* thinking about you, chances are they're thinking, 'good for her'. People at the gym, for the most part, care about health and want to encourage others, even if they look like total hardbodies.
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Old 12-29-2009, 05:03 PM   #9
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I have been there, believe me. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let that stuff be a blip on your radar. Some people obviously struggle finding enough worthwhile thoughts to occupy their minds, sad as that is.

I'm not perfect at this, but to my mind, it's a better idea to focus on the the positives, you're going to the gym, you're changing your life, right? I agree that people at the gym won't have in their minds thoughts like that, I have not had one bad experience, and have had people say nice things to me (PS I was REALLY nervous about going when I started)
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Old 12-29-2009, 06:34 PM   #10
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Maybe it's cuz I live in Canada, or maybe I have blinders on, but people have never said rude things to me like that?! Maybe I don't notice? I hear honks now and again, but I'm not so self-absorbed as to think they're all for me LOL It's probably the Canadian thing -- here, when you bump into someone, THEY say 'oops sorry' LOL i'm not even kidding
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Old 12-29-2009, 06:34 PM   #11
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Nastiness about weight or appearance is a reflection solely on the state of their heart, it has absolutely no bearing on you.

Hold your head up high and improve your fitness at the gym. You have everything to gain by going (except weight ).
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Old 12-29-2009, 06:59 PM   #12
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Tracey, I'm kind of inclined to agree with you on that one! I can't recall ever being hurt like that by a stranger (except that one incident at work, I've told here over and over)...and I HOPE I never do. I'm so sorry to anyone who has ever experienced something like that on any sort of regular basis!!!!

I agree! Almost always, the bumper AND the bumpee will BOTH apologize here too. I apologize when I walk past someone in the video store and I cross their view... We're a VERY polite bunch, for the most part!
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Old 12-29-2009, 07:27 PM   #13
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Hey--when you hear some obnoxious, little boy (one day little man) say something like that--well, that's when you turn and say to him.."Shut the F Up!"
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Old 12-29-2009, 07:32 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beverlyjoy View Post
It just blurted out, "I may be fat but you are rude and stupid."
Well done for answering back!
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Old 12-29-2009, 09:09 PM   #15
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It has been my experience that people are super nice and supportive at most gyms!

As for jerky people, i am totally oblivious most of the time.

However,when i DO notice, i try to remind myself that they are not even reacting to me. they are reacting to some person that they think I am that really has nothing to do with me.

people can be dogs. but just think how miserable and insecure they must be to feel like they need to judge others like that.
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