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Really feeling like it's not possible... :(

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Old 11-29-2009, 08:50 PM   #1
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Default Really feeling like it's not possible... :(

Lately I have just been feeling like it's not ever going to happen. I'm 35 years old, 150 lbs overweight... I feel so stuck. Like it's not really even possible for a person to lose all of this weight.

I am just feeling hopeless! I want so badly to do this, but apparently I dont' have the right attitude about it. I'm mad at myself even for feeling this way, but it is all SO OVERWHELMING! And I have so many fears about all of this.

Did anyone else feel this way? Like they've just gotten TOO FAR GONE?!?!
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Old 11-29-2009, 09:16 PM   #2
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I may have once did but it's been so far back now, I can't even recall it. I urge you to read the success stories here and see that it is most definitely possible.

Don't give up on yourself
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Old 11-29-2009, 09:22 PM   #3
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I felt like that at the beginning of my weight loss journey but told myself that every ten pound loss makes such a huge difference and broke it down in ten pounds increments. Once you lose those first ten/twenty pounds you will feel great and begin to notice the difference which makes the journey easier as you go along. Weight loss and maintenance are just one part of our lives and you can keep on doing everything else and realize how much more you will enjoy it as the weight starts coming off.

Good luck in your journey.
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Old 11-29-2009, 09:29 PM   #4
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I felt like a different person. I knew I wasn't fit--physically or mentally. I tried so hard to control everything and everyone around me since it was obvious I had no self-control.

The truth? The truth is you CAN do it. The truth is you can have the fitness and health level you want. The truth is many people here have done it or are doing it. Put yourself at the top for a change. Let nothing come between you and your goal.

I love music. Eminem is on my IPOD. I love his lyric, "you can do anything you set your Mother F*****' mind to!" And yes, you can.
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Old 11-29-2009, 09:36 PM   #5
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I've lost more than 70 lbs, and I still feel this way alot. For a while now, I've been struggling just to maintain my loss, and it's easy to think "what's the use? Maybe I can't lose anymore - and if I can't lose any more, what's the point of working so hard just to maintain a lousy 70 lbs, when I still have at least 150 left to go.

But when I'm rational, I realize that even if I don't lose any more - those 70 lbs have been worth it. There are many health and strength improvemen things I can do or do better with the weight loss, and backsliding would undo all of that.

So - don't worry about the 150 lbs you have to go - just work on the first 10 (or 5 or 1), whichever you can see yourself doing.

Looking at how far I have to go - is overwhelming, but looking how far I've come, and reminding myself of everything I would be sacrificing if I gave up, helps me remember that the journey is worth it.

Progress matters - not just the bottom line. I may not reach my goal weight - but every pound is progress - and it's not an all or nothing.

Every pound also comes with health and mobility improvements. I once read an estimate that every pound lost, takes 4 lbs of pressure off your knees when walking - and 8 lbs of pressure when running (not that I'm going to be running any time soon).

It helps to track your progress and keep a diary, symptom log, exercise journal - whatever allows you to SEE what the losses are giving you.

Things I can do know that I couldn't (or wouldn't) do 70 lbs ago.

My Sleep apnea is gone.

I wake up in pain from lying too long in one position about 3 times a night, instead of every 20 minutes.

I can take a shower without using a shower chair.

I can wash my hair and use a separate conditioner in the shower (it hurt so bad to raise my hands over my head when I started, that I always used a combination shampoo/conditioner - and I never repeated after rinsing).

I can shop large stores, even Walmart and Sam's Club without needing one of those motorized carts (which I hardly ever used even when I needed them - I just refused to shop large stores).

I can actually lift a fairly large object like a heavy glass mixing bowl over my head. I can get items from a high shelf and put them away without asking hubby's help.

I can use a hair dryer and even a curling iron again.

I can wear real jeans, and can buy them off the rack at Lane Bryant or Fashion Bug (I don't have to rely on only mail order - or having to travel 3 hours or more to find a store that carries extended Plus sizes).

I can ride a bike. Not very well, and I feel like an 8 year old - a giant 8 year old, and I'm terrified of riding where I have to worry about traffic, but it's a start.

I participate in a twice monthly crochet and knitting group that meets at the local book store, and other social outings and events that I wouldn't have at my heaviest. This may not seem like a weight-loss related accomplishment or milestone - especially because I've learned many years ago not to let my weight keep me from doing things out of shame - I still isolated myself for convenience sake. It was a hassle to schedule anything that required a time or effort commitment.
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There are so many things, and I know when I've lost large amounts of weight in the past, I never kept track of such things. Because I wasn't paying attention - I gained and lost function and health problems without noticing. Now that I'm paying attention, I try to celebrate every new accomplishment, and remind myself of what I would be missing if I reverted to old behavior (and old sizes).
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Last edited by kaplods : 11-29-2009 at 11:26 PM.
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Old 11-29-2009, 09:41 PM   #6
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I totally know where you're coming from, but yes, you can do this! You have to decide when you are done with making excuses and putting off getting healthy until "tomorrow" or "next week" or "as soon as I finish eating this cake."

Thankfully this board is full of people who have done it, who are doing it, and who are great sources of inspiration, motivation and support.

It is possible, just break it up into smaller, more manageable goals. My first goal was a 10% loss; my second goal is to reach 250 pounds and my next goal will be to have lost 100 pounds. These goals are all in roughly 35 pound increments which makes it much more attainable than just seeing the one main goal of losing 160 pounds.

Take it day by day and realize that this is not a diet or a short-term fix, this is your life, and you have to find what works for you. Don't let mistakes derail you; get back on plan and don't look back.

YOU CAN DO IT!
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Old 11-29-2009, 09:55 PM   #7
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I was 34 when I started, and 125 pounds overweight. It absolutely felt impossible many, many times. It still feels that way sometimes, especially considering how long it's taken me to get as far as I have. I wonder if I'm ever going to see my goal weight all the time, but I keep plugging away, and if I don't give up, eventually I have to get there.

All you have to do is take one day at a time. Just make the effort for one day. Then you make the decision again the next day to make the effort, and it's just a tiny bit easier. You can do it. If I can do it, you can do it.
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:29 PM   #8
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I'm forty-eight years old and I TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY believed that there was nothing I could do and that I was stuck weighing almost 300 lbs.

But, I was wrong!

I now think the single biggest thing that holds us back is our belief that it is impossible.

Setting up a plan and following it is the easy part. Believing that we can do it and that it WILL WORK is the hard part.

If you really and truly want to you can-- BUT you will have to be willing to make a plan and stick to it no matter what.

I'm only half-way to my goal, but my life is 1000x better in every way.

It has been entirely worth it!
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:53 PM   #9
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Oh, also wanted to mention--don't think of the 150 pounds to go. Think of your goal as "one more pound." That's the way I did it and still do it.
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Old 11-29-2009, 11:15 PM   #10
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I thought that Kaplods' post summed it up beautifully. I am so sorry you are feeling down but I am happy that you know where to come to for a bit of encouragement.

My grandma lost over 100 lb.s in her 80's.

Keep your chin up and I hope to see a new post from you later about you achieving your first goal.
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Old 11-29-2009, 11:23 PM   #11
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Wow, what a great thread! I'm not glad you're struggling, MotoXMama, but I am glad for all the great responses posted. I hope they are as inspiring to you as they are to me.
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Old 11-29-2009, 11:31 PM   #12
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Just three months ago I was feeling just this way. I felt like I was on a runaway train. In fact my son and I got into an argument because I told him that after all these years I was convinced that being obese was genetic and that my body had a weight it wanted to be and no matter what I did, every time I lost I inevitably went back to that weight. It was like a salmon trying to swim upstream; a fight for every pound. BUT, only two weeks later I started another food plan and now, 76 days later, I'm still going strong. I lose very sloooowly because I'm getting older and can't do aerobic exercise outside of the pool. But, I think about it like this, every day that I don't gain or even better, lose, I'm better off. All you have to do is one day, this one.
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Old 11-29-2009, 11:35 PM   #13
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I get what you are feeling but it IS possible.
I started at 263 in Sept 2008 and am currently 156, I will be 40 in Dec.

The point? A year + has passed and I could have gained or stayed the same but I chose NOT to do that and so can you.

Even losing 20# will help your body and mind/esteem and then you go from there...

Best of luck to you, YOU can do this but YOU have to do it!
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Old 11-29-2009, 11:36 PM   #14
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I just want to echo many of the thoughts already given by the others. I started this journey at 53 and 165 pounds over weight. Your feeling of hopelessness expresses exactly how I felt. I was so miserable and in so much pain. My joints were very painful and I had other obesity related problems.

Losing that amount of weight was just too overwhelming. It still is, so I just decided not to look at the big picture. My doctor promised me that losing 10 or 20 pounds would help me so I only look at 5 or 10 pounds at a time.

I have lost about 80 pounds now and feel so much better. Losing has been hard at times but easy at others. I still don't know if I will get to the weight that health professionals say I should weight but I do know that I am so much better off than I was. Kaplods said it so well.

Don't worry about losing 150 pounds. Just start. Take it one day at a time. A year is going to pass one way or the other. This time next year you can weigh exactly what you weigh today or you can weigh more or you can weigh less. You don't have to do this perfectly and you don't have to lose 150 pounds in a year. Just start.
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Old 11-29-2009, 11:49 PM   #15
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I know how ya feel, I was 40 and fat and fed up! It was impossible to look at all that weight that needed to go, so I focused on small things - change ONE THING and MEAN IT! then change one more, and so on and so on. SUre it'll be hard, no one's gonna say it's easy, but consider the alternative. This time NEXT YEAR you could be 15-40 pounds heavier and crying that you wished you'd started NOW!!! The time is going to pass regardless, might as well make 2010 an aweseome life changing year for yourself yay!!!!!
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