So I'm back for the gazillionth time, only 10 pounds still gone since my last attempt back in the spring. I dropped about 25 then, and gained somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 back when life exploded all around me. It makes me sad that I felt like I had such a breakthrough when I hit that 25 lb. mark -- went back and read my blog from May and I seemed to really be kicking butt -- until a myriad of injury related (bum knee, heel spur) and injury unrelated (family, job) things derailed me.
I'm in that place now where I'm just so ashamed that I not only let myself get this big in the first place, but I made some progress only to screw myself again. I know I'm ready to stop this cycle once and for all because, as the old expression goes, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I realize that if I don't get rid of at least 120 pounds once and for all, I'm in for a world of hurt.
But for the first time in my life I'm scared to fail. I don't feel that weird but sort of healthy cockiness I usually do when I'm about to start off on this whole weight loss thing. I just feel defeated and I don't know how to shake that off. I do know that such an attitude will be my undoing in the long run, so I'm trying to resolve it from the get go.
Any advice or suggestions? 3FC has always been such a great resource and wealth of inspiration and support, so I'm once again turning to you guys because I'm sure someone out there knows what's going on in my head right now and may be able to slap me into reality.
Promises that I'll try to keep my future posts way more uplifting than this one.
Thanks everyone. Hope you had a beautiful Thanksgiving.