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i seriously am like addicted to food .. im so disgusted w/ the way i look yet i just cant stop eating
The first step IMO, is recognizing, acknowledging and owning up to the fact that you CAN stop eating. By saying that you can't, it's giving yourself permission TO. You must, must, must realize that of course you CAN stop eating in this manner. It is within your power, your control. You DO hold the key. No one. No one is forcing that food down your mouth. It IS your choice.
For many years I too didn't believe that I had the control over it. And that was nonsense and a poor excuse. I had the control the whole time. The whole time. I had the power to make it stop. I finally realized this, finally realized that I didn't have to be fat if I didn't want to be. Period. I was the one putting all that food in my mouth, I was the one that COULD STOP putting that food in my mouth.
How do you break the cycle? You DECIDE to. You decide that you're just not going to live that way anymore. Require more from yourself. Raise your standards. DECIDE to lose the weight once and for all and permanently. Decide to do it. Commit to do it and then it shall happen. Because you've decided to and committed to. It's at that point that you MAKE it happen. You do whatever it takes, whatever is necessary.
And then you set yourself up for success. Make a plan and stick to it no matter what. No matter what. You must work through that initial discomfort of learning new habits and behaviors. Make a plan. Make a plan. Make a plan. Eating healthy and losing weight wont' happen on it's on. You've got to make it happen. You've got to set the wheels in motions. You've got to map out your food schedule in advance. No more leaving your food up in the air. Journaling is also an extremely effective tool. You bite it you write it. Every bite, lick, taste, crumb, morsel. Rid the house of the junk. Completely. ADD in healthy, low cal, nutritious foods. PAck up your foods, take them with you. Always, always, always know where your next meal/snack is coming from. Make this a top priority. Make it your job, your mission. Make yourself some definite food rules/laws/boundaries to stick to.
For me, being the food addict that I was/am, that meant definite NO's. They were a definite must for me. I completely banned many food items - the ones I loved the most and overate the most. I was done being fat and was no longer willing to take a chance that they would derail me. I had a hard time stopping with many foods - my solution - dont' start. Like any addict, you give me one taste and I want more and more and more. You leave that door ajar and I swung it open, every time. Miraculously so, upon giving up my favorite foods, my desire for them decreased. The longer I went without them, the less I wanted them. It may seem extreme to some, but I needed something extreme to happen. I too was moments away from WLS. My life was on the line and the life of my children's mother. IT WAS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE! I should have done it years and years earlier.
Losing weight is a doable thing, make no mistake about it. For everyone and anyone - yourself included. I am CERTAIN of it. There is no doubt in my mind in fact. DECIDE to do this. DECIDE.