Wearing more *DARING* clothing
 

Hi Ladies. I wasn't sure where to post this. Since I am in this group, I thought I would post here and see what your responses were.

For years and years I have always been careful to wear dark colors, loose fitting clothing, shirts tucked out, etc., etc. In addition, I hated shopping. I hated knowing what size I was in. I hated going into the dressing room and facing those mirrors. Mortified--yeah, that was me.

I have found myself more interested in clothing these last few months as I have been working on becoming more fit. I am also finding that I am trying new styles and more fitted items than ever before. My question is--when am I going to be actually comfortable wearing them? I do it daily but still feel awkward at times. Yesterday I was wearing a pair of low-rise Lucky jeans, a long, fitted camisole and a long sleeved embroidered bolero (short jacket that ends right below boosoms). I wore a pair of dark boots and wore my jeans over the boots (not the tucked in thing). I thought it looked stylish and did show my body but not over the top.

I went to the movies and felt okay (it's dark in there). When I got to the school to pick up my kids I all of a sudden felt so awkward again. Like I wanted to run to my car or something. What in heaven's name? At my age I should be so over this sort of thing. I feel like I am confident in most respects but this new clothing issue really has me baffled. I actually felt like people were "looking" yesterday and I guess I am just not used to that. I don't want to sink back into my sweats or my big, dark pants again. I feel like some people I know are weird about me being different now. I know it is time for me to get over this. I played myself down for years! I am ready for play UP!

Sorry for the rant and the long post ya'll. I swear it's not a vanity post. It's an issue on my mind and is bothering me. I know I can count on my sisters here.

I've always kind of wore daring clothes, occasionally. I think it is just part of my personality. I think you may just get used to it. I never understood loose fitting clothes because they are never hiding anything and although I don't advocate wearing tight bright orange/pink/yellow pants for anyone, dark colors aren't hiding anything either.

Wear color, wear fitting clothes and I think the comfort level will come.

First of all, Congrats on your success so far!

Secondly, the way I read it, it sounds like going into a school setting might have brought up some of those insecure teenager feelings maybe? Teenagers can be cruel and hurtful and it's hard to really forget about those things. I know any time I step into a school for whatever reason I always feel a bit uncertain and awkward, too.

I'm sure you looked great and that there was no reason to feel uncertain. ;)

I'm still not to the point of wearing different clothes yet. But I'll get there. :hug:

Thank you for your input--both of ya'll. To clarify, I am in the school a lot. So I am usually quite comfortable there--I volunteer there two days a week. Yesterday I was just standing near the playground waiting for my kids to come out. Just lots of other moms there ya know.

nelie--I can honestly say I don't think I have ever worn pink, yellow or orange pants--LOL--I do have lots of tops, scarves, handbags and shoes that are bling, bling in those colors though! LOL.

I had that same feeling the other day! Even though I looked perfectly normal and looked nice, I felt like I was wearing a costume. And it was just a pair of slim black pants and a pretty scoopneck magenta sweater. Nothing revealing, but it wasn't my usual "uniform" and I felt like an impostor. I actually went back in the house and changed into my typical baggy jeans and shirt, which was silly. I could tell looking in the mirror that I had looked much better in the first outfit, but felt more comfortable (safer, really) in the second. Stupid.

I know what you mean about not wanting to play yourself down anymore. Wearing the baggy jeans and sweats can be like an invisibility cloak, at least it is for me. Actually putting effort into your clothes can feel exposing as it draws attention in a way that shapeless clothes don't. It means breaking out of your comfort zone and it can feel weird if you aren't used to it. Oddly enough, once I actually wear a new outfit out and realize nobody laughed at me and the sky didn't fall, I can wear it again without the anxiety. I bet the next time you wear that outfit, you won't feel nearly so awkward in it.

I think that you should have someone who you trust take some pictures of you. Then with that person you might start seeing how good you do look now and building your self-image up.
But on the other side I can feel self-conscience in a hat, which has nothing to do with my weight but actually just stepping out of my usual style. So that could be it as well.

I am quality of the dark colors and baggy clothing. The longer the better for shirts. But I just can't stand my stomach sticking out of the bottom. Even with the longer shirts, it happens anyway.

I can't wait for the time when I can shop according to my style and not what fits.

I have those same feelings when I wear certain outfits. I have a few dresses that are a little shorter than I normally wear, they just hit the top of the knee. I love them and they look good, hubby likes them. I feel very self conscious in them though. I feel like I'm trying to show off, or maybe trying to dress a little young for my age (I'm 45). I keep wearing them though, because I think part of the issue is that I have made such a dramatic change in myself that it is taking my brain some time to adjust. I've worked hard to get my health and body where I want it to be and there is nothing wrong with looking good. It does bring more attention than I'm used to, people have only made nice comments, but I'm not used to the attention. It's out of my comfort zone. I think that it will eventually become my normal and then I'll feel fine. I've seen your pictures and you look fabulous! Don't hide it, wear those cute clothes and be proud of yourself!

I know where you are coming from on this. I feel like you do sometimes esp around other women. All I can tell you is just keep putting yourself out there, in time it will get easier :lol: or at least that is what others tell me!

I bet you'll get a couple of compliments from people on the new look and then you'll start to feel more comfortable. :)

Thighs Darling~of course they was looking at you~YOUR BEAUTIFUL!
Even if you put on big ole jogging pants and A shirt 3 x's to big~they would still look at you & your hotness~LOL ~You just got a little paranoia Going on~Just enjoy being the hot Noticeable one!!!!
Time will get you use to the new you.

I have these occasional fears of being mutton dressed as lamb (I'm 42), but for the most part, I'm over it. I'm not one to reveal much skin, but I have taken to wearing things that fit nicely at the waist and just-above-the-knee skirts practically all the time, on the grounds that my legs actually look really good, and they provide a useful distraction from the areas I'm still not at all happy with. (These would be my upper arms and belly.)

I have got over it so much that I now cannot abide going out in ill-fitting clothes, and don't really like wearing them around the house, either, since they don't really conceal a darn thing, they just make me look EVEN FATTER. I've worked way too hard at this to feel even a bit fatter than I actually am. It never leads to anything good, I just feel more and more wretched and sloppy and terrible when my clothes fit me like sacks, and that's a feeling I am working diligently to get out of my life for good.

Thighs, I hear you on this one. I first started wearing more fitted and updated clothing in May/June 09 and got alot of attention, positive luckily. And I was more than freaked out by it. But over time, I am becoming more comfortable with it. People are getting used to me at this size. Now I like looking my best and make more of an effort than before. Clothes are fun! I hear you on the age thing though, DD22 and I shop together often. And she sometimes tries to convince me that I can wear some things that are totally inappropriate for my age, 46. I'm learning that even though something might fit (this was my litmus test in the past) and look good on me, I don't have to buy it. It also has to fit into my current wardrobe and lifestyle.

I too have to fight the urge to buy everything that fits, even if I don't really like it! In the past, that was the criteria: If it fit and I didn't HATE it then I would buy it. I had many things in my closet that I really didn't like; I simply tolerated wearing them because the alternative was going naked or wearing pajamas.

Now that I can fit into more "average sized" clothing, I can be a little more picky. Sometimes it's hard to remember that and I want to buy it all up because it FITS!

As far as wearing more daring clothing--I've always kind of been a "sweater" girl; I have big boobs and things that button don't fit unless they are huge in the shoulders and waist. So I guess you could consider that daring since I was wearing kind of fitted sweaters (when I could find them). Now I am trying to find the balance between wearing fitted, attractive clothes and not being too "hoochie-mama" or middle-aged-cougar. I want to look attractive, fit, and yes even sexy for my age, but I don't want to be a desperate-looking middle-aged lady trying to stuff herself into 20-something clothing. Catherinef's "mutton dressed as lamb" is a perfect description of what I aspire NOT to be.