You know, I've been feeling really good lately. I hit my third 10% goal, gone down another tier with my BMI, and have lost a total of 100 pounds altogether all in the past month. I've bought a few new clothes and feel pretty good with them. Even bought a new purse and I'm wearing the boots I used to feel a little awkward in. I walked around the mall with confidence today.
I've also just gotten my own car, which has been a big help with me conquering my agoraphobia and regaining my independence. I've been taking baby steps with exploring the area. I attended my first TOPS meeting last week and toured two of the local YMCA's today, a really big deal for me to go all by myself. I'm finally getting off my duff with the whole exercise thing and plan on doing lap swimming. It used to be my absolute favorite exercise and I'm pretty excited about getting my Y membership!
I've also realized that now that I'll be swimming again, I'm going to need a new swimsuit. The one I have now will still do fine for lap swimming, but I'd also really like to take the water aerobics class, which will be included with my membership. The problem there is that my suit has a skirt, and will ride up over my exposed stomach if I stand in the water to exercise. I'm so not comfortable with that, lol. I know it's not really a good time of year to be looking for a new suit, but I had luck at the same time of year at Macy's when I was visiting Palm Springs a couple of years ago. Since I'm in Vegas and it's warm nearly year round, I thought I might have luck at Macy's here too. So as I was feeling all confident while strolling through the mall, my first stop was Macy's. I browsed through the clothes, realized there was no plus sized section, and looked at the directory. Ah, so they were on another floor . . .
I go to the next floor up and take a look around. No signs of swim suits with the rest of the clothes, so I asked if they still happened to have any. The lady got all indignant with me. Not only was it the wrong time of year, she informed me that they don't carry plus sized suits at all. She added I could look through the clearance section of the lower floor but I wouldn't be fitting in anything there.
. . .
I didn't let it get to me, at least not at first. I went around to a few other stores but didn't do any more asking. When my boyfriend called a little later, the subject got brought up and I started crying.
It's not so much that she seemed a bit rude to me, although I can't imagine it helped. I know I've made a lot of progress on this weight loss journey, but I'm still only halfway there. It gets so frustrating at times to know that I'm *still* stuck in plus sizes, that I'm still stuck at places like Lane Bryant and Torrid and the hidden sections of "regular" stores that treat the bigger sizes like an embarrassment. It's even worse to hear that they don't even bother to carry plus sized suits anymore (although I realize that's pretty typical of a lot of stores).
It makes me feel like a second-class citizen or something. I've worked so hard especially on these last 25 pounds to only go down one size (from a 24 to a 22). But to look on the bright side, at my highest weight I couldn't even fit into what most plus-sized stores carry. So yeah, I'm definitely making progress. My eating habits are so much better, I'm on my way to being more active again, I'm feeling better overall and am much happier than I used to be. But I still have the occasional bad day. I guess we all do.
I'm afraid I'll probably have to resort to buying a suit online, and I'm a little scared of not being able to try on stuff first, even if there's an ample return policy. It's really important to me to feel comfortable in whatever I end up with. I know I'll figure something out regardless, I'm just feeling a little intimidated at the moment.
Anyway, I'm not trying to start a pity-party or anything here. I'm dusting myself off like I've been doing over and over these past few months, taking things one step at a time. I'm actually feeling a lot better than I was earlier; I talked to a store manager in another part of the mall that may be offering me a job! I haven't been able to work in a while and it's a really fun position I had years ago so I think it will really be good for me.
I went to Old Navy over the summer, and couldn't find the plus size section. The entire store was in the process of being re-organized, and nothing was where it normally was. So I asked a sales clerk where the larger sizes were. She gave me a long, almost malicious look up and down before snapping "We only carry up to a 24 here"
I can't even believe people ACT like that. I just stood there and stared at her. I can wear some 24's so I felt like a total outcast from society in that moment.
Let's put it this way: this was a SALES CLERK. Who gives a crap what she thinks? Listen things have really changed. At least you weren't made to feel like all that you could wear was a gunny sack. When I was a senior in high school (back in the stone age), I went to San Francisco to find a prom dress on my own. They didn't even make plus sized clothes then except tent dresses. So, not much luck. In one store she told me they only carried up to size 12 while she looked me up and down maliciously. In the last store I found a size 15 dress I was able to fit into. I weighed 140lb at this point. I was fat compared to my contemporaries, who mostly weighed 120lbs. My mother did a good job on me a couple of times when I was trying to find clothes and nothing would fit. Anyway, don't let anyone, and I mean anyone, esp someone who cannot imagine how hard you have worked and how much you have overcome, ever put you down. Beeach. I used to think, well at least I can lose weight; with you, ugly is forever. ha. And it made me feel better. SO, onward and upward! (urr, or downward).
"There is no use trying,"said Alice; "One can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
She has absolutely no right to judge so quickly...and she's glad it wasnt me because I would've went totally off on the snoot. That got my blood boiling!!!! lol She wouldve heard my life story and a peice of my mind all in one big long breath.
Its great that you're over it now and didnt let it totally get to you!
Youre doing SO AMAZING and are such an inspiration! Stay strong! Im sure you'll find a great bathing suit!
Oh, I did water aerobics a few years ago with a skirt btw! I just tucked it into my bottoms after I got in the pool and then untucked it before I got out and it didnt bother me! Just an idea! =)
Crazy nursing school student, wife, and mommy to an active 1 year old!
I know I've made a lot of progress on this weight loss journey, but I'm still only halfway there.
OMG go back and read what I put in bold Things may have bummed you out at your recent shopping trip but seriously it's just a drop in a bucket of a way bigger thing going on.
Forget the pissy sales clerk, forget the off season swimsuit shopping (when I lived in Tampa, FL I thought it was funny that it would be September, still hot enough for swimming yet they sold heavy winter coats. Heck Christmas would be short, tank top and flip flop weather )....if you don't have a specialty swim suit store near you then you may have to bite the bullet and buy online. A PIA but you will be more apt to find what you are looking for this time of year.
"The most exciting, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."
Oh boy oh boy. I would have gone to that ladies manager soooo fast! There is NO excuse for that kind of behavoir. None whatsoever.
Luckily I've never had an experience like this, and I'm so sorry that you did. You've come so far and your success deserves to be celebrated!
WOw, what a rude clerk. If she was my employee - I'd be horrified to know she treated my customers that way....shame, such a shame she doesn't have to wear a big bright badge that says "I'M RUDE" so that you'd have known before you simply asked a question.
You're making changes that are wonderful. Don't let anybody or anything take that away from you.
Sirenity, I hadn't read any of your posts before but this one caught my eye. Go back and re-read everything you wrote down that you have accomplished recently. You are AMAZING! You are changing your whole life. Please run with that and celebrate. Please keep posting about all your progress - I am so happy for you.
WOAH. Please do as others have suggested and go find her manager, or someone higher up - that is NOT how Macy's wants to be represented! Trust me, you can definitely get her fired or suspended or seriously reprimanded - her job is to help you and make you feel good about yourself whether you're a size 00 or a size 28! Don't let her win :<
I've had that happen before - I was so surprised I didn't say anything either! But, I realized that while she was completely rude, she was correct in that the store didn't carry bras "that big." Times like that, a letter to the manager/headquarters of the store is entirely appropriate to let them know that we don't appreciate their oversight of us, their plus-sized customers (who could be spending a lot of money there, as we lose the weight & have to buy new, smaller clothes :-) )
Don't let her get you down - you've come a long way & are doing a fantastic & inspiring job getting where you are. You'll make it the rest of the way. And while it may be "only halfway" now, in a few days or weeks, it will be "more than halfway," and doesn't that sound great!
I bought a great swimsuit online through Junonia. I actually bought it on eBay for much cheaper than through the website, but I was pleased with it - & we're talking swim suit here, so it really was good!