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Old 10-18-2009, 09:21 AM   #1
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Default New to board and ready to give up

Hello everyone, I am new to this forum my name is Mary Anne and I am really struggling right now. I have been living a healthy lifestyle for almost 3 months now, eating a diet of 1200 calories and working out 2-3 hours a day with one day off. 2 weeks ago, I should have hit a fabulous number of 239 with a starting weight of 272 but on the day of my weigh in I had gained 2lbs over night and the next day 3 more lbs. I sort of gave up that week in the sense I didn't work as hard but 5 days later was down the 5 plus 3 reaching 240lbs. Still amazing but not what I was hoping for. Then again the next tuesday (this past tuesday) up 2lbs plus I started that day. Chalked it up to TOM and worked just as hard knowing it would be back to normal then some. Well yesterday still up 2lbs and feeling awful I ate half my daughters birthday cake, I figured why not. Been working this hard and it wasn't working might as well eat something that tastes good for a change. So of course this morning 244. Up 2 more lbs. I didn't eat 7000 calories to gain 2lbs but either way I gained. So now I am back at 28lb loss and just feel like maybe I was not meant to be anything but a fat mom. Having a hard time pushing through today I am still just too fat to not be losing weight and have reached the same breaking point I reach every single time I diet I hit a wall and give up. I do not want to give up this time, but having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I had been feeling so good and proud of myself and couldn't wait to see the numbers 239 but it seems like it is never going to happen. Just needed to vent/ let it out with maybe some people who would understand. All my friends are super skinny and have maybe 5lbs to lose. But when you have over 100 to lose it just seems so daunting. Would love any advice that anyone could offer. I am sorry to start my intro post as such a blubbering baby. Thanks for listening.
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Old 10-18-2009, 09:35 AM   #2
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Hi Mary Anne, welcome to 3fc! It's good to have you here.

First of all, you need to hold on to that part of you that says, "I don't want to give up," like your life depended on it - because it does. Being miserable, merely existing from day to day, stuffing our mouths with whatever - that's not life, that's drudgery. So listen to that voice that doesn't want to give up, and if you can't hear it, say it yourself! It'll come back, and eventually you won't hear anything else

Secondly - holy woah, lady, you're down 28lbs! This deserves a because it's a great achievement no matter how you cut it. Two more pounds and you'll have lost 30lbs, which is just fantastic. Don't underestimate what you've already done!

Thirdly, I think lots of people here would tell you that no, you can't lost more than 100lbs - it's too much for us to handle, conceptually. Someone has a really cool sig quote, "I can't lose 100lbs, but I can lose 5lbs twenty times." Maybe this will help you? Focus all your efforts on losing 5lbs; don't worry about the other 95lbs, you can deal with them later

Fourthly...yea, it'd be really really cool if we could schedule our weight loss to a nice round 2lbs (or more! ) a week. But it seems - I'm learning this myself the hard way right now! - that human bodies are pesky things and don't like doing things on neat schedules So sometimes it'll go down, then up a bit, etc, etc, etc.... So long as the overall trend is going down, you are a successful weight loser, no matter the daily or even weekly fluctuations. Yes, this means that you are already a success - see my second point

Fifthly: come to 3fc and chat with us often! This is the best place online, bar none, to get support from others. I'm not kidding. We're all here to cheer you on Don't suffer alone, it'll lead to discouragement. There's absolutely always someone here who'll have advice, experience, or simply a listening ear to share

Sorry this got so long I'm working on my long-windedness, honest!
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Old 10-18-2009, 09:56 AM   #3
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Losing weight isn't as simple as calories in, calories out, so as much as we want there to be a nice, clear schedule of "eat this, exercise this way and lose exactly 2 pounds each week," that's not always going to happen. There are plenty of other things that affect weight, including how much sodium you ate the day before, TOM or whether a hard workout the day before might be causing you to retain water in your muscles.

Another thought - 1200 calories per day is pretty low if you're topping that with 2-3 hours of exercise a day. If your body doesn't feel like it's getting enough energy to power its basic functions, it's going to hold on to each and every calorie it gets. Maybe try cycling your calories and include a few days a little higher?

Also, instead of weighing every day, maybe try weighing in once a week at the same time, in the same clothes, etc. Most people's weights fluctuate naturally within that time period, so as long as your overall trend is going down, cutting out weighing daily might help prevent some of those feelings of failure.

Good luck - you'll get there
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Old 10-18-2009, 09:59 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [B
salsa chip;2975385]Hi Mary Anne, welcome to 3fc! It's good to have you here.

First of all, you need to hold on to that part of you that says, "I don't want to give up," like your life depended on it - because it does. Being miserable, merely existing from day to day, stuffing our mouths with whatever - that's not life, that's drudgery. So listen to that voice that doesn't want to give up, and if you can't hear it, say it yourself! It'll come back, and eventually you won't hear anything else

Secondly - holy woah, lady, you're down 28lbs! This deserves a because it's a great achievement no matter how you cut it. Two more pounds and you'll have lost 30lbs, which is just fantastic. Don't underestimate what you've already done!

Thirdly, I think lots of people here would tell you that no, you can't lost more than 100lbs - it's too much for us to handle, conceptually. Someone has a really cool sig quote, "I can't lose 100lbs, but I can lose 5lbs twenty times." Maybe this will help you? Focus all your efforts on losing 5lbs; don't worry about the other 95lbs, you can deal with them later

Fourthly...yea, it'd be really really cool if we could schedule our weight loss to a nice round 2lbs (or more! ) a week. But it seems - I'm learning this myself the hard way right now! - that human bodies are pesky things and don't like doing things on neat schedules So sometimes it'll go down, then up a bit, etc, etc, etc.... So long as the overall trend is going down, you are a successful weight loser, no matter the daily or even weekly fluctuations. Yes, this means that you are already a success - see my second point

Fifthly: come to 3fc and chat with us often! This is the best place online, bar none, to get support from others. I'm not kidding. We're all here to cheer you on Don't suffer alone, it'll lead to discouragement. There's absolutely always someone here who'll have advice, experience, or simply a listening ear to share

Sorry this got so long I'm working on my long-windedness, honest!
[/b]
The only thing I am going to add is that you really need to hold on to your belief! Believe that you can succeed and that you can lose the weight!
With God all things are POSSIBLE! Get rid of that negativity! Somebody once said "I am not going to conquer all the weight I need to lose in ONE DAY, but EACH DAY, I certainly can make a dent in it!" Keep positive and say positive things even if you don't feel like it.
This is a good place for encouragement.
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Last edited by Ryanne : 10-18-2009 at 10:01 AM.
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Old 10-18-2009, 10:08 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryAnne View Post
I had been feeling so good and proud of myself and couldn't wait to see the numbers 239 but it seems like it is never going to happen. Just needed to vent/ let it out with maybe some people who would understand. All my friends are super skinny and have maybe 5lbs to lose. But when you have over 100 to lose it just seems so daunting. Would love any advice that anyone could offer. I am sorry to start my intro post as such a blubbering baby. Thanks for listening.
Hi MayAnne, welcome to 3FC. Okay, I'm going to kick you in the shorts, but it's only because I care, and I see that you do not at this moment.

You were feeling good and proud of yourself, and expected the scale to give you a number...it didn't cooperate so you ate 1/2 of your DAUGHTERS birthday cake? WTH is that all about? Why is it your daughters fault you didn't meet your goal? It's her cake, not yours.

If you can't handle the daily fluctuations of the scale, please, please. PLEASE stop weighing yourself so often. If you follow your plan, and decrease your weighing to once a week, (or less often) you will see a loss 99% of the time. This letting the scale dictate what you do, how you feel, what you eat is not healthy. Give up the scale, not your weight loss program. It's almost like you were looking for a reason to binge.
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Old 10-18-2009, 10:59 AM   #6
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I jest want to add in here that YOU CAN DO IT! It is a rough raod But as like I tell myself I didnt gain all this weight in a day and I sure wont loose it in a day. Stay tough and you can do it.
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Old 10-18-2009, 11:01 AM   #7
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You don't need to work out 2-3 hours/day unless you want to I know people who really love exercising and honestly when I started, I loved doing weights so it wasn't unusual for me to spend 2 hours at the gym. I also love hiking and biking and those are usually 2-3 hour adventures.

Have you been working with a personal trainer? I'd look into a time efficient exercise program to help you maximize your workout.

HIIT (High Intensity Interval training) is an excellent way to get a good cardio workout in a short amount of time. Also, the books "Body for Life" and "The New Rules of Lifting for Women" are good books to look at for workout plans.
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Old 10-18-2009, 11:05 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by MaryAnne View Post
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum my name is Mary Anne and I am really struggling right now. I have been living a healthy lifestyle for almost 3 months now, eating a diet of 1200 calories and working out 2-3 hours a day with one day off. 2 weeks ago, I should have hit a fabulous number of 239 with a starting weight of 272 but on the day of my weigh in I had gained 2lbs over night and the next day 3 more lbs. I sort of gave up that week in the sense I didn't work as hard but 5 days later was down the 5 plus 3 reaching 240lbs. Still amazing but not what I was hoping for. Then again the next tuesday (this past tuesday) up 2lbs plus I started that day. Chalked it up to TOM and worked just as hard knowing it would be back to normal then some. Well yesterday still up 2lbs and feeling awful I ate half my daughters birthday cake, I figured why not. Been working this hard and it wasn't working might as well eat something that tastes good for a change. So of course this morning 244. Up 2 more lbs. I didn't eat 7000 calories to gain 2lbs but either way I gained. So now I am back at 28lb loss and just feel like maybe I was not meant to be anything but a fat mom. Having a hard time pushing through today I am still just too fat to not be losing weight and have reached the same breaking point I reach every single time I diet I hit a wall and give up. I do not want to give up this time, but having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I had been feeling so good and proud of myself and couldn't wait to see the numbers 239 but it seems like it is never going to happen. Just needed to vent/ let it out with maybe some people who would understand. All my friends are super skinny and have maybe 5lbs to lose. But when you have over 100 to lose it just seems so daunting. Would love any advice that anyone could offer. I am sorry to start my intro post as such a blubbering baby. Thanks for listening.

Hi Mary Anne and welcome to 3FC,

If I had a nickel for every time in the last 18 years that I thought to myself "maybe I'm just meant to be a fat mom," I'd already be retired...

I weighed around 160-170 all through my 20s, but I put on a bunch of weight with my first kid... enough to tip me over into plus size clothes and to give me a number I needed to lose that seemed impossible... (fifty pounds).

So, in a way, I gave up. Sure, I tried to lose weight over the years... but I started with the mindset that it was impossible-- I had too much to lose, I would NEVER be able to meet the challenge.

Over the next 18 years I had three more babies and my weight crept steadily upward....

I never lasted more than a week or two on a diet, and I had a fully formed "fat mom" persona...

It wasn't until I got to almost 300 lbs and suddenly started to notice that I was really slowing down and seemed on the verge of developing major health problems, that I decided enough was enough.

Since then, I've lost 50+ pounds and I feel terrific-- less than half way to goal, but WAY WAY WAY cuter, thinner, happier, and more energetic.

And looking back, I realize that I could have done it all along. I has taken me about 4 months to lose 50 pounds. And it saddens me that I didn't have the courage to tackle the problem when it was only fifty pounds....

But here's the thing. Weight loss is highly doable. There are LOTS of people on this site to prove that it's true.

YOU need to believe it. And you also need to recognize that as much as you DIDN'T want to eat that cake, you also DID want to eat it.... believe me, I know. I've eaten a lot of birthday cake through the years...

But if you DECIDE that now is the time, you CAN pass up the birthday cake, and you CAN work past the plateaus.

There is no time like the present and YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!
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Old 10-18-2009, 11:58 AM   #9
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Don't work out more while losing weight than you are willing to do the rest of your life. Exercise is a big part of maintenance. 1200 calories is not enough at your present weight and level of exercise. Your body will hold on to every pound because it thinks a famine is beginning.

If you give up, where will you be 6 months from now? Gaining more weight? If you keep on, you will be down and closer to your goal.

Never, never, never set a goal to lose a certain number of pounds by a certain date. You have experienced the result of that - wanting to give up because you didn't reach it. The scale is on the bottom of the list of success. It's the permanent lifestyle changes that will get us to our healthy weight.

Keep coming and posting and we'll help each other.
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Old 10-18-2009, 12:00 PM   #10
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Maryanne- you have already lost some weight so you have proved you can do it! I just started and my first weigh in day is Wednesday. It is my TOM and I am worried about that scale and my emotional state if it doesn't go down some. Even down 1 lb would be better than nothing. Don't give up!!! Keep imagining yourself thin. Picture yourself in your dream outfit. That's what I am doing! I keep picturing myself in my favorite pair of jeans hanging in my closet and I keep imagining the compliments I will get and people saying, "Wow, how much? 100 pounds!?!?" It's how I keep going. I know I will have ups and downs, but like YOU, I will make it through. So, you had a small set back- it happens! Just keep going one foot in front of the other, one day at a time! YOU CAN DO IT!!! We newbies here need you to keep going! What you have lost already is an inspiration so keep on keeping on!!!
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Old 10-18-2009, 12:06 PM   #11
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yah, it sucks. That's the bottom line, calories in & calories out should be a simple formula but we've all learned what a joke that is. But, as much as it sucks, what's your alternative my dear? Maybe in 6 months you'll have lost another 30 lbs. Maybe that's not as much as you want - BUT you could also give up, and gain back all you've lost AND another 20 - it's all your choice where you want to be in 6 months and how to get there.

Like others have said, personally I think 1200 cals and 2-3 hours of exercise per day is wayyyyyy tooooo stressful on your body. I say if you love the exercise part, at least up the food a bit. I've lost 80+ pounds by NOT STARVING. I would have given up long long long ago if i were eating 1200 -- and given up even sooner without the 3FC sisters (and dudes) ! so keep coming back to visit us
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Old 10-18-2009, 12:11 PM   #12
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You have received some excellent advice so far. Just wanted to add .

Here on the 100 club we all know what it means to have 100+ pounds to lose. Honestly, you don't need to lose 100 pounds, just one pound. The next one.

Keep hanging out with us here, we get where you are coming from. Those friends that have 5 pounds to lose, they just don't get it.

And don't give up on yourself. You are not meant to be the fat Mom. None of us are!
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Old 10-18-2009, 12:12 PM   #13
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You have a good start going! Don't give up.

If I were facing this problem myself, I think I would:
1) increase calories to 1600-1800/day with that level of exercise. I stop losing if I don't eat enough.
2) stop weighing daily. Now, I DO weigh daily but it does not make me want to go eat cake when I gain. So if it affects a person that much, time to cut back on weighing.

Hang in there!
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Old 10-18-2009, 12:52 PM   #14
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I think everyone's advice is spot on. Too little calories, too much exercise. You've started off all gung-ho and your body is just overwhelmed. I know because I tried doing the same thing many years ago and hit a point where I wasn't losing any wt and finally gave up, thinking that if I'm doing all of this and it's not working --forget it. I just couldn't do any more. Anyway, my point is this. Pull back a little (unless you are really enjoying working out 2-3 hours a day). Up your calories a little.

Remember whatever you decide to do has to be something you can live with for the rest of your life.

You can do this. A 28# loss is MONUMENTAL! If someone offered to give you 28# of fat, you'd run screaming out the door so don't discount how much you've lost.

YOU CAN DO THIS! Keeping coming back here for support and help. It's how we all do it. We all slip, get discouraged and need help.

YOU CAN DO THIS!
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Old 10-18-2009, 12:53 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by salsa chip View Post
Hi Mary Anne, welcome to 3fc! It's good to have you here.

First of all, you need to hold on to that part of you that says, "I don't want to give up," like your life depended on it - because it does. Being miserable, merely existing from day to day, stuffing our mouths with whatever - that's not life, that's drudgery. So listen to that voice that doesn't want to give up, and if you can't hear it, say it yourself! It'll come back, and eventually you won't hear anything else

Secondly - holy woah, lady, you're down 28lbs! This deserves a because it's a great achievement no matter how you cut it. Two more pounds and you'll have lost 30lbs, which is just fantastic. Don't underestimate what you've already done!

Thirdly, I think lots of people here would tell you that no, you can't lost more than 100lbs - it's too much for us to handle, conceptually. Someone has a really cool sig quote, "I can't lose 100lbs, but I can lose 5lbs twenty times." Maybe this will help you? Focus all your efforts on losing 5lbs; don't worry about the other 95lbs, you can deal with them later

Fourthly...yea, it'd be really really cool if we could schedule our weight loss to a nice round 2lbs (or more! ) a week. But it seems - I'm learning this myself the hard way right now! - that human bodies are pesky things and don't like doing things on neat schedules So sometimes it'll go down, then up a bit, etc, etc, etc.... So long as the overall trend is going down, you are a successful weight loser, no matter the daily or even weekly fluctuations. Yes, this means that you are already a success - see my second point

Fifthly: come to 3fc and chat with us often! This is the best place online, bar none, to get support from others. I'm not kidding. We're all here to cheer you on Don't suffer alone, it'll lead to discouragement. There's absolutely always someone here who'll have advice, experience, or simply a listening ear to share

Sorry this got so long I'm working on my long-windedness, honest!
Yes!! Yes!! to everything

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyn2007 View Post
You have a good start going! Don't give up.

If I were facing this problem myself, I think I would:
1) increase calories to 1600-1800/day with that level of exercise. I stop losing if I don't eat enough.
2) stop weighing daily. Now, I DO weigh daily but it does not make me want to go eat cake when I gain. So if it affects a person that much, time to cut back on weighing.

Hang in there!
Been there, put that darn scale away, have you taken your measurements?? maybe your pants are a bit baggy, or you now like the way you feel, after a great workout, so many other ways to measure success

MaryAnne, repeat after me, I will not give up You are doing a wonderful thing, heck you are down 28lbs, you have just hit a bump in the road that's all. TOM is enough to throw our bodies off a bit, but don't let that stop you, and make you doubt, what you're doing, it's Super for your body. {and it will again get back on track, promise}

Great advice given from all the chickies above plus all of them in between.

Give yourself a break, your body is a bit confused right now, just give it some time to settle down, just stick to your healthy plan, maybe I could suggest, up your calories a bit, think of your body as a car, without the proper fuel it will not run, your body needs the proper amount of fuel, start small, like add some nuts or maybe some added protein, with all that exercise, increasing the protein, might just be what you need. Take a look at what you are eating, and how intense the workouts you're doing, and like one of the above mentioned it's not just about calories in/out, specially once you get going on your journey, your body needs you to surprise it once and a while. Just hang it there, and visit often, I can personally say I have been where you are, many,many times, but I can honestly say, visiting here, asking for help, will help you to stay the course.
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