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Old 10-13-2009, 10:41 AM   #1
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Default OT-Comments about body

I guess this is only kinda OT, since it is about bodies.

So I was at a party over the weekend. My friend's sister just had a baby, two months old right now, cute cute cute. I was holding her. The father (who I had just met that night, although really that shouldn't matter at all) said something about how she liked sleeping on big breasts. There was no doubt that he was talking specifically about my breasts.

I'm asking you ladies this because I figure that we in the 100lbs club are likely to have larger than average breasts, and I'm wondering if you've ever gotten comments like this. People seem to frequently talk about my chest, it is large even for my weight, but mostly it's women, and that I'm usually okay with (although sometimes it does make me uncomfortable). If a guy says something in a pervy way, I'll scold him, but this time, I didn't feel like I could say anything to chastise him. There were lots of people there, and I didn't want him to feel bad. (and now I'm kinda mad at myself for not saying anything, although I know if I did I would feel bad for making a big deal out of it.)

So this is an inappropriate thing to say, right? I mean, come on! Just because it's a baby who likes it doesn't make this comment acceptable. Also, I'm wondering to the men out there, would you ever say this to a woman?
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Old 10-13-2009, 11:00 AM   #2
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Inappropriate? Yes. Definitely. But . . . in his defense. When women go through pregnancy, delivery, breastfeeding, etc. you start having some pretty graphic discussions with your other female friends about these things, and husbands frequently participate. My husband lost a lot of his inhibitions on certain topics around that time. Of course, sleep deprivation could have contributed also. Anyway, I can really imagine my husband making a comment like that when Lance was a baby, meaning absolutely no offense at all. Thank goodness, he seems to have recovered his sense of appropriate comments!

Flip side, the guy could be just a jerk. . .
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Old 10-13-2009, 11:04 AM   #3
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So this is an inappropriate thing to say, right?
Oh, definitely. But new parents are sleep-deprived...I am 100% sure he didn't mean it in a pervy way, nor was it a put down. Maybe his mouth isn't attached to his brain, not to be down on guys but you know that happens a lot.

IMHO, big boobs are a plus. I wouldn't have agreed with this statement at 370 lbs, because mine were massive then. But now that I've lost almost 140 lbs, they are a lot more proportionate and they make my clothes fit GREAT. That said, I have one very good friend who is quite overweight and is pretty small up top, and I think she looks great too. She could leave the house without a bra anytime she wanted, that makes me kind of jealous. Personally, if I left the house without a bra, I think I'd be arrested for indecency! I ALWAYS have one on, unless I am in the shower. (38DD)
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Old 10-13-2009, 11:14 AM   #4
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I did think of that lowering inhibitions thing when it comes to men who go through a pregnancy with their partners. I guess that's why I'm asking.

I would never go out without a bra either! But I guess I'd be sad if I had that option!
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Old 10-13-2009, 11:17 AM   #5
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Holey Crap.. If I was that baby's mama, and my hubby made a comment like that out loud about another womans chest I would have knocked him into next year! That was so far out of line, I don't give a crap how "sleep deprived" a new parent may be, that is NO excuse to say anything like that! (And, yes, I do know what it's like to have a newborn.. I have had 4 of them! the youngest just hit 5 months old yesterday). I think if anything having these babies and my hubby seeing me nurse them has made him more respectful of women and more than anything very protective of me and my HUGE chest (which we joke is the reason he married me )

I dont think I would have said anything to him if he had said it to me, but had my hubby been in that same room and heard some guy make a comment about "his girls", he would have had something to say for sure.
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Old 10-13-2009, 11:20 AM   #6
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I'm also pretty sure that it would take a pretty immature man to have his "inhibitions lowered" over a pregnancy, you would think it would make him grow up, not act like an obnoxious teenager.
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Old 10-13-2009, 12:01 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findingfawn View Post
I'm also pretty sure that it would take a pretty immature man to have his "inhibitions lowered" over a pregnancy, you would think it would make him grow up, not act like an obnoxious teenager.
Actually it did - he really stepped up. Became much more financially responsible, in addition to helping a ton with a newborn in spite of the fact that I was stay at home at that time. Helped and was supportive of me through crazy behaviors, when neither of us realized I was going through severe post-partum until I got suicidal. So, no. You can't say he's immature. But when a man is surrounded by 4 or 5 women who have all just had babies and talk very openly around him, he begins to lose a sense of what other women may consider appropriate.
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Old 10-13-2009, 12:17 PM   #8
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I think I need to explain why this guys comment bothers me so much... I know how rude it was to Paris, but I see it as very very offensive to his partner. I think it's very very wrong for a man to openly.. what's the word I want here... kind of like oggle, but that's not it... grrrrr anyway... I just think it's very disrespectful to a person he is supposedly so commited to that they created/had a child together for him to be openly noticing another womans body so much so that he blurts it out publicly.

By the way, my hubby is a breast man, always has been, always will be. I know for a fact he checks them out on a regular basis, yes this bothers me to a point, but I know for a fact I have pretty much all of them beat and mine are 100% real. I deal with his looking and know it's just looking... but if he were to start making comments about other womens breasts I would most definately have a problem with it.
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Old 10-13-2009, 12:20 PM   #9
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Yes, inappropriate.

I would say he likes what ya got!

I would also say that getting caught up in the excitement of the baby, maybe the baby daddy lost his good sense momentarily.

My hubby wouldn't say anything like that but if he did, POW right to the Moon!
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Old 10-13-2009, 01:01 PM   #10
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I got to call "inappropriate" on the comment the guy made to you. I know women who are okay with their husbands joking around or whatever like that, but if it made you uncomfortable, then that's all there is to it. I've had to have a chat with my bff about her husband saying things like that to a mutual friend of ours, because the girl is very strait-laced and he made her genuinely fearful that he was going to put moves on her.
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Old 10-13-2009, 01:31 PM   #11
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I dunno--it just doesn't strike me as highly inappropriate. It doesn't sound like he was saying it in a leering way or anything like that. And why wouldn't a baby like to sleep on larger breasts? Sounds nice, actually.

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Old 10-13-2009, 01:34 PM   #12
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I feel bad for his wife. Her husband is out making comments to people about her breasts. That's a pretty darn big hole in his filter.
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Old 10-13-2009, 02:53 PM   #13
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Is the baby breastfed? I ask this because as a breastfeeding counselor and being around tons of babies AND their daddy's... daddy's often forget that breasts and talk about breasts can be sexual when their wives are using them to feed their children. It just becomes another body part to them for that time... so if there is a lot of boob action going on at home? That's probably part of it.

And I used to have HUGE breasts... 48 G!!!! Breastfeeding for 12 years cumulatively did NOTHING for them lol! Now that they are a 40DD I feel much better about them
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Old 10-13-2009, 03:13 PM   #14
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Just curious. What was his reaction after he said this? Did he leer at you or give you a wink? Was he embarrassed?
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Old 10-13-2009, 04:09 PM   #15
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I come from a big family and am an air force wife (lots of baby makin goin on in the air force). I've been around a lot of babies and a lot of new daddies. I have heard that comment many many times, directed at me and at others. They generally don't mean anything bad by it. I have only found myself offended once - when it was followed with one of those looks and "I can't blame him". For that one I very softly (baby sleeping afterall) explained to him that if he spoke to me that way again he would most surely regret it.
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