I have always been a very "princess-y" girl. Up until a little over a year ago, I would never go out without straightening my hair, putting on makeup, a nice coordinated outfit, jewelry, lipstick, etc. But since I have gotten to be such a high weight, I just don't care anymore. I go for jeans and big bulky sweaters. I rarely bother with makeup (because who cares? All anyone notices is how fat I am anyway), most of the time I pull my still-wet hair back into a nasty little bun (my hair is only chin length, so I do this with the top of my hair). It is a very very rare occasion when I will put any thought into what I wear or any effort.
Is this because I am getting older, or is it because of the weight gain? I feel down on myself, and I feel like no matter what I wear, I still won't feel good. I used to be a shopaholic, but now I don't even care about that anymore. I still like spending money, but I will spend it on treats for my dogs, or books, or knitting yarn, but don't care anymore about shopping for anything wearable.
Anyone else relate?
__________________ Current goal: No longer morbidly obese
I am in the same boat with you 100%! Even on what we spend our money on now! Everything you said in your post I can relate to 100%! It's horrible..I even avoid going to my hometown because I don't want people to see what I've become..I used to be the tiny girl with awesome style..now I'm the chubby girl in the out of style clothes with her wet hair hangin' in her face..ew! I don't even feel like myself anymore..but, I want her back..I'm too young to feel this frumpy!!! These are supposed to be the hot years..and they will be!!!
I'll repeat something you've heard in some form or another a dozen times - confidence is the most attractive thing about a person.
I used to go out with one of my friends all the time (early 20's). I weighed 190, she weighed 280. We both put ourselves together well, knew we looked good, and I don't remember ever having to buy a drink or breakfast. And I spent most of the night on the dance floor. A lot of "thin chicks" were standing on the sidelines wondering what we had.
Oh - and my friend? The one who outweighed me by almost 100 pounds? She always got 10 times the attention / compliments I did! She is the most confident person I know. And really scary now that she's lost 120 lbs . . .
__________________ 30 Day Shred - Get back to being able to do it!! Mini Goal 1 - 189 - No longer "Obese"
Mini Goal 2 - 172 - Start looking OK
Mini Goal 3 - 156 - No longer "Overweight", also low weight in the last 12 years
Mini Goal 4 - 145 - Because I NEEED little goals
Mini Goal 5 - 132 - 1988 Weight
FINAL GOAL - 126
It's funny, but when I finally decided to lose weight, it was a few months after I decided I couldn't stand to be so frumpy and sloppy anymore. I got some new clothes, I got my hair cut, started wearing some makeup. For me at least, taking a little pride in my appearance came before weight loss, not after.
Started 4/14/08 LINK TO PROGRESS PICS 1/1/2009
"It is impossible to live pleasurably without living wisely, well, and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely, well, and justly without living pleasurably" Epicurus
Taking pride in my appearance came QUICKLY after deciding to lose weight... and I'm not sure if it's an age thing (I'm 33!!!) but more of a confidence thing. I am LOVING living right now and I want my OUTSIDE to express my confidence and joy as well!
On my own personal journey I started on September 27, 2008
Starting weight 377, Weight in spring of 2010 198, Weight in August 2011? In the 240's.
Still plugging along on this weight loss highway!
At my highest weight (and lowest point self-esteem-wise), I was much like you. I would wear the same jeans every day with a t-shirt and a zip up sweatshirt. I stopped wearing makeup and barely did anything to my hair. For me, I felt like if I made an effort it was just putting lipstick on a pig (I hate that phrase, but that's how it felt). Once the weight started coming off, I finally started to feel pretty again and making the effort to dress better and put on makeup didn't feel so pointless anymore.
For me it was definitely the weight, not the age. I loved clothes when I was young, but as I gained weight I found myself living in sweats. I always did my hair and makeup if I was leaving the house, but if I was at home it didn't matter. As soon as I started losing the weight I fell in love with shopping again. I had forgotten about the girl who loved to look pretty. I'm 45 and I'm having so much fun with clothes now. I even get compliments from young friends in their 20's on my style. I get such a kick out of that, they don't realize that I've lost so much weight in the last couple of years. I wish that I had cared enough about myself to take better care of my body and mind sooner. For me the way I looked on the outside reflected how I felt on the inside.
In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins... Not through strength, but through Persistence.
I realized a few days ago, when I needed to do some yardwork...I don't OWN any sweatpants that fit. None. When I was super morbidly obese, all I EVER wore, summer or winter, were sweatpants. Now I don't own any. I used to pull my hair back in a ponytail, t-shirt (hot weather) or sweatshirt (cold weather), ratty sweatpants, tennis shoes. Every day, day in, day out. Now I look pulled together all the time...I had forgotten what it was like to be a clothes horse but now that I can fit back into virtually all my old stuff, I am a 100% clothes horse. It's good.
I never left the house without my hair and make-up done even when I was morbidly obese. My solution? Never leave the house. It was bad, I'd go days without getting in the car. DAYS. It bothers me to think about how I let myself go. It's sad when we don't care anymore.
The great news is, you can turn it all around if you want. The other day we were at a HS football game and a friend said to me, "Why do you always fix up so nice for football games?" I said, "Because I WANT to!" Ever hear that expression, "don't outshine the Bride"? I say to **** with that. I'll outshine the sun if I can!
And Alana, yes, I have always had problems with depression and low self-esteem. In fact, it was medication for depression that started this whole weight gain thing. I am on Effexor (and have been for about 7 years!) but I don't really feel like it works. I am going to see the psychiatrist at school tomorrow morning!
It scares me how much I just don't care anymore. I actually did my hair and makeup the other day when I went to church, and people kept going on and on about how good I looked. It made me sad, because I used to look like that every day.
I think it's that feeling of having given up. I catch glimpses of myself lately and I feel sick.
I hope I will gain back some self-esteem with my lifestyle changes.
__________________ Current goal: No longer morbidly obese
I hear you. I just turned 21 and for the past two years I swear nothing but pj pants, sweat pants, and crappy t-shirts. No make up, don't do my hair. Nothing. I feel so blah. I am married, and I feel bad for my DH. I am sure I cannot be that attractive like this. I think its from my depression. I am hoping that loosing weight will make me want to look nice again, but for now..I just don't care.