3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

OT: emotional stress

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-03-2009, 06:21 PM   #1
Shrinkin' Salsa :P
 
salsa chip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 872

S/C/G: 127/122/72 (kg)

Height: 5'9"

Unhappy OT: emotional stress

Yesterday (or early today) my uncle died. He'd been in hospital, having tests for cancer, then he needed an operation but because he didn't have insurance the hospital demanded an obscene amount of money from his family up front...which my family couldn't afford.

I really want to go to his funeral but it's in another country and I would be a burden to my relatives there (they've got Big Flooding Problems) and to have an overseas cousin around who'd need looking after...it's not such a good idea. I'm planning to make a trip over there in a few months' time when (hopefully) things are less hectic and I won't be in the way so much.

My aunt, well, I don't know how she's doing, but they were always just so into each other that I can't imagine she's anything other than devastated (whilst holding it together because that's what society expects). They have two teenage boys, not much money at all, and making ends meet is always so tough. I feel guilty because I live in a relatively affluent country and have seemingly wittered away some of my earning years on travel and endless studying when people over there can't get a degree because they have to work. And even now I can't spare any funds for my family because my bills and living costs swallow up everything. I feel helpless and I hate it.

As for the weight loss...I have no idea. I haven't eaten much today, but much of what I have eaten wasn't particularly healthy. The scary thing is that whilst I don't binge - I've never had those urges to eat out the entire kitchen - I just don't care right now. I'm not eating the whole pack of chocolate mint biscuits (I normally let myself have one a day if I want it), but today I had three, just like that. I've planned what I'm eating tomorrow only because someone's coming round for dinner (sms: "I need to cook for someone, so if you want to eat here this weekend, that would be good."). It's not that I'm losing control, more like I'm tossing the reins away. Gah.

I know life does this to you. I know life is an unfair b*tch. I know it doesn't just happen to people who are trying to control their weight. But ffs...why my uncle? He's one of the hardest working people out there, for little pay, and now he's gone his family is in uncertain circumstances. He's one of the kindest men I've ever met. He adores my aunt, they're such a fantastic couple. I just don't get it. Bleh.

Ok, thanks for letting me moan/rant/emotionally dump here
__________________
Restarting!

salsa chip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2009, 06:21 PM   #2
Resident Pixie
 
Onederchic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 14,658

S/C/G: Pant Size - 28/12/8

Height: 5'2"

Default

Oh honey I am so so so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers
__________________
Stopped smoking October 21, 2008
Made it to Onederland July 16, 2009


Transformation in Pictures

My Facebook


Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

Disclaimer: I am not a registered dietitian, nutritionist, any kind of health professional or fitness expert...I'm just a woman who's lost 161.5 pounds so far with a lot of hard work.

Last edited by Onederchic : 10-03-2009 at 06:21 PM.
Onederchic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2009, 06:30 PM   #3
Starting over
 
Alana in Canada's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 922

S/C/G: 257.8/242.4/135

Height: 5' 5"

Default

I am so sorry for your loss.

Why would you be a burden to your aunt if you went? I'm sure you would be helpful and supportive.

I remember when my Father died, my step mother's sister came down just to be with my stepmother. She looked after the kids, made sure my step mother had something to eat, made sure she was where she needed to be when she needed to be and protected her privacy. I don't know why I typed all that, it's probably irrelevant. But I do know your pain. My Dad was 42 when he passed away...suddenly, too....from a cancer they could do nothing about.

About your eating: Don't let go of the reins. Don't worry about today. But stick to your plan tomorrow. You Uncle sounds like the last person who would want to derail you.

__________________
**************
my weight loss blog: http://mypsychemysoma.blogspot.com/



"Your best weight is whatever weight you reach, when you're living the healthiest life you actually enjoy." Yoni Freedhoff
Alana in Canada is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2009, 07:10 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
S.A.S.H's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Shelbyville, Kentucky - Near Louisville
Posts: 439

S/C/G: 268/ticker/140

Height: 5'6

Default

Death is always hard to understand. I am very sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in our thoughts.
__________________

*1 per 5lbs GONE!*
* M.G. #1 - 07/2010 *249!*
S.A.S.H is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2009, 08:46 PM   #5
Finding my wings...
 
starfishkitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Crown Point, Indiana
Posts: 1,075

S/C/G: 256/see ticker/156

Height: 5'2 and a freakin' HALF!

Default

This made made me want to cry and hold my loved ones even closer.... *sigh*
__________________
"Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway." - John Wayne


Overall Weight Goal (Started Spring 2006)



My Newest Goal: Lose 2011's Gained Stress Weight & Get Back to my Lowest Weight in Time for my Dec' 11 Vacation!!
starfishkitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2009, 09:09 PM   #6
Senior Member
 
CanadianCutie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: London, ON
Posts: 1,631

S/C/G: 331/292.2/250(for now)

Height: 5'3"

Default

I'm so sorry. In times like these it's just as important to take care of yourself as it is others. (it's always important to take care of yourself, of course).
__________________


www.goodreads.com/Saela

Doing this one day at a time.

Reboot 296.4/Week 1 292.2/
CanadianCutie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2009, 10:58 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
momof5k's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 562

S/C/G: 270.6/161.0/150

Height: 5'8"

Default

So sorry for your loss
__________________


Takin' it one step at a time!

Couch 2 5K Graduate

Made it to Onederland!!! September 30th

Santa Shuflle 5K (Dec 5): 37:15
Resolution Run 5K (Jan 1): 39:40 (-45 degrees!)
1/4 Marathon: 1:13:25
Mother's Day Run for Mom 10K: 1:05:10
momof5k is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2009, 07:16 PM   #8
Shrinkin' Salsa :P
 
salsa chip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 872

S/C/G: 127/122/72 (kg)

Height: 5'9"

Default

Thank you everyone for your condolences. My aunt has lots of people helping her with the practicalities (I'm not au fait with how things work over there). Looking after a white relative would be yet more trouble; they're cleaning up after typhoons and arranging a funeral.

At the moment I swing between weeping and being really, really mad. I'm not used to dealing with grief like this, just by having to deal with it: normally I jump into Action Mode and do stuff. But this time I can't, and it's so hard.
__________________
Restarting!

salsa chip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2009, 12:08 AM   #9
Starting over
 
Alana in Canada's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 922

S/C/G: 257.8/242.4/135

Height: 5' 5"

Default

I'm sorry you can't be with them. That's hard.

Hit the gym. Run around the block--do whatever you need to do to burn off the extra energy if that's how you're feeling.
__________________
**************
my weight loss blog: http://mypsychemysoma.blogspot.com/



"Your best weight is whatever weight you reach, when you're living the healthiest life you actually enjoy." Yoni Freedhoff
Alana in Canada is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2009, 12:23 AM   #10
Featherweight
 
AR4life's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 555

S/C/G: 135/130/125

Height: 5'3.5"

Default

Awe hun, I'm sorry to hear about your uncle passing. I know what you mean about doing things, keeping busy, helping out. You are being supportive without going to help out. Don't derail yourself, keep on your schedule and try and do what Alana said.
Take care
__________________

AR4life is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2009, 01:28 AM   #11
NEVER EVER going back
 
cfmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 3,747

S/C/G: 377/240's/150

Height: 5 feet 5 inches

Default

oh sweetie... you need a big hug *hugs*

Taking care of YOU right now is important too... you can't control what is going on with your aunt and your uncles death... but you can control what you put in your mouth. And through careful planning that is one less thing that you have to think about.

*more hugs*
__________________
On my own personal journey I started on September 27, 2008
Starting weight 377, Weight in spring of 2010 198, Weight in August 2011? In the 240's.
Still plugging along on this weight loss highway!
cfmama is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:40 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2