3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

Thread Tools
Old 10-02-2009, 04:44 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 40

Default Anyone else with this problem?

Ok, there is no way to sugar coat so here it goes.....my husband won't have sex with me because of my weight. Yeah, I do have just over 100 I need to lose and I am going to do it because and only because I want to do it for me. He's never been really sexual and I have a much much stronger desire for sex than he does. In all honesty it has been a turbulous marriage at times, just not getting along in general and I do know that these difficulties have certainly played a part in my weight. So that is how he feels, oh well. Anyone else with this problem? Thx!!
lovemylabs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2009, 05:16 PM   #2
Half Marathoner!!!
EveLHaelf's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: MHAFB, Idaho
Posts: 884

S/C/G: A bunch/ticker/140

Height: 5'5''


Has your hubby actually came out and said that to you? Or are you just speculating?

I'm not asking this to be mean or anything, I'm just curious because it might be in your head. I too, have a higher desire for sex than my husband and at times I get paranoid thinking that he just can't bare to look at me because of my weight. He has never said anything of the sort to me, and when I ask him he just says he is not in the mood. With all my friends, I'm the only one who has a husband who wants it less than I do. I feel like an outcast

But I just keep telling myself that it's all in my head and I keep plugging forward with my workouts.

I dunno if my reply was any help, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

Made it to ONEDERLAND (the first time) 16/nov/2009!!!
Gained some back, but will be back in ONEDERLAND soon!
Couch 2 5k Graduate
EveLHaelf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2009, 08:54 PM   #3
Senior Member
wendyland's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 512


That's a rotten feeling. My husband didn't like dtd when I was in the last few months of pregnancy. It was so hard to go months feeling like that. It's better now, but I know that he would prefer if I lost a little. He actually prefers women with a little weight on.

I'm sorry that your husband feels that way. That would be the kind of problem that I would go to counseling over. It could be that there are other reasons that he doesn't want to do it. He could be depressed or have medical issues that you don't know about.
wendyland is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2009, 10:11 PM   #4
DiverGal's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 30

S/C/G: 282/218/150

Height: 5'7"


I also would want to know if he's said this outright, because that might be a different problem than if you are picking up on signals. I only say this because I have some personal experience with a critical husband (he's now an ex) and he would say things about my weight to distance himself for reasons of his own. It's definitely something you need to talk about if he hasn't said anything, and if he has, it's still important to clear the air a bit about what he really means.

For what it's worth, a man having a problem with a woman's weight, sexually, doesn't necessarily mean he has a problem with you. My husband now has always been very supportive and loving, even when I was at my heaviest. Now that I've lost nearly 70 lbs, though, he's fessed up that sex is better now, for a few mechanical reasons. After all, that was 70 more pounds, almost a whole 'nother adult, on top of him sometimes, or getting between us.

Maybe your husband is just a communicative sort, and let it slip?

Last edited by DiverGal; 10-02-2009 at 10:13 PM. Reason: tweaking a thought
DiverGal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2009, 09:28 AM   #5
Former Quitter
GirlyGirlSebas's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 5,500

S/C/G: 310/310/180

Height: 5'7


I've been feeling the exact same way lately.
- Rhonda

"Live the life you've always imagined." Henry David Thoreau

GirlyGirlSebas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2009, 10:53 AM   #6
Loving life!!
TJFitnessDiva's Avatar
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ponchatoula, LA
Posts: 2,349

S/C/G: 360/159/145

Height: 5' 8"


Did he come out and say that or is that the reason you think he won't have sex with you? Esp since you have said he's never really been sexual.

I have a feeling it's more of your self esteem and I have lots to say on the subject but I'll hold off to not overwhelm you

"The most exciting, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."

My fan page on facebook! www.facebook.com/taneeisfitforlife
TJFitnessDiva is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:05 AM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2