It really is.
Warning: long rambling musings ahead!
Last week, if you recall, I was hovering on the line between staying calm and stressing out because for the first time in eight weeks the scale was going up instead of down. Leaving aside the little fact that at eight weeks in I'm still a rookie compared to some experts here...today my scale (my PT and I have come to a kind of unspoken agreement: he won't tell me off so much if I weigh myself, and I'll wean myself off the emotional attachment to the number) told me I'm back to my all-time low of 223 and that I'm no longer lying with my ticker and stats here.
(I detest lying, but evidently the shame at the number going up outranks that. Will be working on that....)
I've learnt here that weight loss isn't linear. I've learnt that you can't tie "What I did on Monday" to "How much I weigh on Tuesday morning." Whilst I guess we know much more about how our bodies work now than we did in the past, to me it still seems like a black box: I'm told what to put in, and everything somehow gets better.
As a control freak (allegedly
) I can see this being a potential problem. I'm the patient who, at the opticians, wants to know exactly
how long her eyeball is and why that makes her short-sighted. I asked my doctor why he had prescribed this particular
anti-d instead of the host of other SSRIs out there. Yes, I also googled what SSRIs were.
So present me with a situation where I can't identify, analyse and understand (at least to some extent) every aspect of the process, and the rest of me watches in vague amusement as the control freak within me has a mild meltdown.
But you know what? The fact that there is more
to me than just that control freak is rather liberating. The rest of me is happy that the logic of good food + exercise == health + weight loss has prevailed. I don't need all the details, I guess. My body can do its thing so long as I treat it well. It's not a baby that needs me looking over its shoulder.
Hurray for the human body! Now to have lunch and crack on with this paper I'm supposed to be writing. Thanks for reading all the way down here