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Trying yet again

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Old 09-14-2009, 01:16 AM   #1
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Default Trying yet again

I'm 66 now, where do the years go? I've been on so many diets and once when I was 34 I lost 130lbs with OA. The problem is that even though I've been successfull many times losing weight I have always gained it back. My last big weight loss was 90lb about 3 years ago. But now I'm on my way back up to my heaviest, which was 332obs. Dealing with this addiction has almost done me in. I am now pre-diabetic, and have high blood pressure. My son's live far away and I have to drive 3,000 milles to visit them because I can't fit into the plane seats. I did go to see my son in Germany last winter but I was 21lbs lighter, just enough to be able to fit into the seat. This would be hysterical if it wasn't so horrible: while I was there I went to Poland to get some dental work done but Ihave to go back to have it finished and I've gained 21lbs and so I can't fly. Talk about a nightmare! Last saturday I weighed 305lbs and today, a week later I weight 311.5lbs. I have never, ever gained weight that fast. I did start taking vitamins but that's the only thing I can think of that's different. At 66 you don't have to pig out to gain. On all my past diets I wrote down my food, made menus ahead of time and developed grocery lists from those so I didn't buy anything aside from what was on my menu plan. I am a quasi-vegetarian. I do eat poultry sometimes. I don't usually eat sugar. It's not my thing. My things is volume. I fix turkey stew with three legs and carrots and kale and bulgar and eat the entire large pot in one day. I also eat too many nuts. They are one of my addictions. The time when I stick to the low calories but don't lose for two weeks are the hardest. Since I have always gained it back it's hard to once again get up the motivation to diet yeat another time. Something has to change. Sometimes I think it's not worth it and that life is too miserable, but my children would suffer so I don't go there too often. So, tomorrow I'm going to give it another shot. Wish me luck.
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Old 09-14-2009, 03:13 AM   #2
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Luck.


Seriously, welcome back. I know how bad it feels, to be doing it all YET AGAIN but truly, you're in the best place for help.

I'm on my 3rd major weightloss drive, having been successful twice before but not yet learned to keep it off.

I think logging what you eat is essential but not just on paper, I use Sparkpeople.com (free) and DietPower (1 off $49 years ago). With DP, the biggest shock (on journey #2) was how way short of vits and mins I was on a calorie controlled diet. With SP (new for journey #3) the biggest shock was a programme that just wouldn't let me record anything if I tried to log in a calorie budget that was too low or a time scale that was too fast. Don't goo too low!

Can you bulk cook and then freeze asap? When I make a big pot of something, if I get it in containers immediately, leave it to cook while I'm eating 1 serving, I can usually get the others into the freezer ok. If I wait until after I've eaten before portioning it up, it's still somehow one portion in the pan, and I'll come at it again and again until it's gone.

Good luck!
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Old 09-14-2009, 04:03 AM   #3
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I really think this is your time to do this. The good news is that you've done this before, you know it is possible and it's something you're capable of. Now the thing is to try to identify what made you backslide in the past and come up with strategies and/or look for support in advance so you don't slip back into your old lose-and-gain back cycle. There's so much support and help and advice here. It's definitely worth it. It's worth it for your own happiness, for your health and life, and for your children. You can definitely do this!!!

I totally sympathise with the overeating. There's nothing I love more than a big meal. I like to eat till I'm super full almost to the point of discomfort especially if its something that I find really tasty. I used to cook in bulk for the week, but I can't do this anymore, because I will eat the whole pot within a day or two because each time I'm peckish I'll zone in on that or if I'm bored I'm seduced by the food just because it's there in the fridge. This means that now I have to deal with the inconvenience of preparing every single meal I eat. I never have left overs in my fridge. I cook only for that meal and only a single portion and drink lots of water to replicate that super full feeling I like. I find that the meal planning in advance and writing everything I eat down is really helpful too and since that has worked for you in the past, you can start with that again. It's tough, but I had to come to the realization that my relationship with food is such that I'll never be able to have a pot of stew or leftovers or cooked food in my fridge and not be obsessed with the idea of bingeing on it. I believe in setting oneself up for success and that's what I try to do.

About the nuts, don't just eat them from the big bag. In advance, separate them into individual servings (i.e. by the cup or the ounce depending) in small sandwich bags, that way you don't binge on a whole bag mindlessly. Don't seduce your mind with the prospect of a big bag of nuts if that's your addiction. With smaller portions, you get what you want but you also have an opportunity to think about it. Also another thing that helps is that note down how many calories are in each serving, sometimes seeing the number of calories makes you pause and think and decide whether you actually want that extra portion.

It's never nice when you discipline yourself to stick to a specific caloric intake and you don't get the weight loss reward. This has also been a huge reason for backsliding for me in the past. Since I re-started my journey, I've had a couple of weeks when I've barely lost anything and honestly its quite discouraging. But I tell myself that whether or not I've lost that week, I've been good to myself and my body; I've done something good for myself; I'm taking care of this one body I have, and if the scale is not cooperating, as long as I continue doing right by my body, it'll shift, and it has.

Anyway I just wanted to encourage you and tell you that I was rooting for you and really believe that you can do it this time. It will be SO worth it!
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:25 AM   #4
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I'm so glad you're here. This is a great site for support, advice and encouragement.

The good thing is, is that you can lose any amount of weight at any age, under any circumstances. Any obstacle you've got, there IS a solution. You've got to be brutally honest. Don't allow yourself to make any excuses.

If nuts do you in, get rid of them. Can't overeat them if you never start eating them in the first place. OR measure them out and place them in baggies, making them one portion serving sizes.

But for me, it was just easier and made more sense to have some DEFINITE NO's. I was done being fat and didn't want to take any chances what so ever. I did eliminate and greatly reduce lots of foods, but I ADDED in LOTS more.

I'm a volume eater also. Which is why veggies work SO well for me. I eat my lunch salads out of a BIG serving bowl. Dinner is also loaded with large amounts of usually roasted veggies. Snacks - different types of salads also.

It sounds like you've had lots of success taking off the weight. So you do know how to lose! Now to keep it off. You've got to find something thing that you are WILLING to continue on - forever. This has got to be a lifestyle change. For me it was a lifestyle OVERHAUL. I accepted the fact that I could never go back to the old ways. The ways that got me to be super morbidly obese. So, I had to create a brand new me. A brand new "normal". I had to incorporate new and healthy eating habits and behaviors into my daily life. I had to find coping techniques and strategies to keep me healthy, fit and trim - forever. These new and healthy habits HAVE become my new normal and they are automatic to me. I love my life now and would not go back to that old, miserable, non-traveling, unenergetic, unhealthy, unhappy life for anything in the world.

I think food journaling is a great place to start. Plan out your food schedule ahead of time. Stick to it like glue. Get rid of the junk. Add in healthy foods. But mostly, DECIDE to do this. Make that decision to do this once and for all and permanently. Don't waste another second of your precious life hoping and dreaming and longing to be thin and settling for a poor quality of life when an excellent one is yours for the taking. Make that commitment to do whatever it takes. Don't dread this. Get excited about the transformation you are about to undertake. A whole new world is about to open up for you. Embrace it. Celebrate it. Enjoy and revel in the journey.
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Old 09-14-2009, 12:06 PM   #5
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I'm just amazed that you all took the time to reply to me with your own stories. Okay. Today is he first day and maybe somewhere along the way I can find my life again. Now, all I have to do is figure out how to use the blog!
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Old 09-14-2009, 12:26 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suezeeque View Post
I'm just amazed that you all took the time to reply to me with your own stories. Okay. Today is he first day and maybe somewhere along the way I can find my life again. Now, all I have to do is figure out how to use the blog!
Don't worry about the blog right now. Concentrate and FOCUS on setting yourself up for success. Make a vow, a pledge, an IRONCLAD COMMITMENT "to do this". No matter what. Form your strategies. Decide how you want to tackle this. Make a plan. A logical, sensible plan, being open to change it if need be. Make yourself some rules, set some boundaries. Get rid of the garbage. Add in healthy delicious, tasty foods. Scout out new recipes. Be creative. Experiment. Check out the dailyplate.com or one of the many other calorie sites. Track your food intake. Become accountable. Educate yourself on nutrition. Find out what works best for you. And what doesn't.

Get busy. You've got a lot of work to do!!! Enjoy every precious minute of it and hold on to your hat. You're in for the ride of your life!!!
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Old 09-14-2009, 01:23 PM   #7
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I am SO GLAD that you are here and ready to tackle this!!!! We will help you every single step of the way
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Old 09-14-2009, 02:23 PM   #8
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Welocome!

As you've already discovered this is an amazing place for support and encouragement. I feel blessed to have found it and be a part of it!

I just wanted to let you know that my Mom is 64--and she lost a lot of weight last year. I'm not enitely sure how she did it, but that's irrelevant as you already know how to do that! I think Rockin' Robin is right, though. This isn't a diet to lose weight--this is a way (mostly) to eat for the rest of your life. You may have trouble with nuts: mine, I discovered this week, is crackers.

So, welcome. Look forward to hearing about your journey!
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Old 09-14-2009, 09:35 PM   #9
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Welcome!!

The ladies and gents here are FULL of wonderful advice and love and compasion! I love this place and know you will too.

Oh... I know you have gotten lots of advice already just here in this thread... here is my advice on making this work for you forever... you need to not think diet, you need to think lifestyle. This is a lifetime change, not a temporary fix. (I know others have already told you basically the same thing, but it's important).
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Old 09-14-2009, 09:58 PM   #10
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Hugs - it is a hard reality you're faced with (all of us here are to some degree). You can do it, & this forum is a great source of info & encouragement - don't give up - you can do it!!!
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Old 09-15-2009, 01:56 AM   #11
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Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments. Today I went swimming. Last night I made the menu for today and the grocery list and wrote down my food for the day when I got home. I wanted to eat so bad so I went upstairs and got on the computer and read all the nice posts. Since I've lost weight before I see this addiction as not a problem of losing the weight (which is difficult enough) but abut 90% of keeping it off. So, this time something has to be different; what, I'm not sure. I have spent every single day of my life from probably age 9 thinking about what I'm eating, feeling guilty about it, counting calories, carbs, fat etc. My entire adult life has been about the idea of food in all it's permutations. To the point that sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. The best thing, the ideal thing would be able to not think about food in any way for one day. I don't know what that is like. Even when I was raising three children and working full time. I was always on a diet, going to go on a diet, gaining weight or losing weight (never stayed the same). I think the fact that I'm in the process of regaining the weight I lost last year finally spurred me to try again. Plus the fact that I have three implants with abutments that have to be finished in Poland and if I can't get on the plane to go over there, well I can't really think about it. I'm in denial for now on that one.

Last edited by Suezeeque : 09-15-2009 at 02:00 AM. Reason: add more info
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Old 09-15-2009, 05:41 AM   #12
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All that thinking about food - let's put it to good use. Seek out healthy recipes. Plan out your meals. Your good healthy ones. Map out your food schedule ahead of time so that you KNOW what you will be eating. So your thinking is done AHEAD of time. This way when the time comes to eat, you won't have to decide and ponder. The thinking's been done for you. Eventually, after you get into this for a while, you will know "what to eat" and how much. It will get easier and more natural.

I do spend time now thinking about food - somewhat. I do lots of shopping, cooking, preparing, meal planning, keeping to a calorie budget - but it is time VERY well spent. Things that matter, things that are the utmost of importance DO require thought,energy and time. But it is time that is essential to providing a fit, healthy and happy me. It is a labor of love as I can now spend quality of time with my family.

I think what may have to be different for you this time is that you must realize and come to grips with the fact that you can no longer "diet". You can't start this only to STOP it. You've got to CONTINUE on. You've got to create a new you. One with new eating habits and behaviors. You have to make a lifetime commitment.

I also think it's important to think of your long term satisfaction instead of your immediate gratification. I no longer settle for foods that ONLY taste good. They have to taste good AND be good for me, long after I'm done chewing. I require more from myself now.

That's why I urge you to find foods that you love. To stop looking at passing up on high calorie/high quantity foods as deprivation. EATING those foods is depriving yourself of the best you that you can be. To stop thinking of staying within a calorie budget as a burden, but something that will increase the quality and hopefully the length of your life. Part of your daily health routine. Like showering and brushing your teeth. A necessary thing that is ESSENTIAL to your future and your well being.

Remember just because you want something doesn't mean you HAVE to have it. You're an adult and it's okay to tell yourself no. The first few weeks ARE difficult as you begin to break old habits and start establishing new and healthy ones. Get through them any way that you can. The computer, journaling, reading, knitting, self- talk, cleaning, a hot cup of tea, a hot bath, a brisk walk. JUST GET THROUGH IT ANY WHICH WAY THAT YOU CAN. And rest assured - you CAN. Give yourself that gift of really, really sticking to it. Give yourself a chance for your old habits to die down. For your wants and desires for "those foods" to die down. It WILL happen. And it WILL get easier.

Also keep in mind that eating "that way" doesn't provide you with happiness. Just the opposite. Remember what it is you want the MOST. Don't settle for any less.
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:02 AM   #13
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What Robin said.
What Robin said.
And,
What Robin said.

You can totally do this!!!!
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Old 09-15-2009, 10:52 AM   #14
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Smile It's good that you plan your meals ahead.

I do that, too, and it has freed me up and helped with part of the obsession. I plan my meals and snacks for the whole family for a month at a time, and I buy groceries every two weeks, (when my husband gets paid.) It is so much easier to know what I am going to eat and when, that I don't seem to have food on my mind as much the last few days have been much better. I need to put the scale away and only weigh once a week. I have a battle with leaving the darn thing put away. I want to only weigh once a month, but once a week should be easier right now since I am kind of addicted to weighing every day.
I completely understand what you mean about losing and gaining back....so this time I am looking forward to actually keeping it off...and I will do that the same way I am losing it....by planning my meals and snacks and walking or doing some kind of exercise each day.
I'm trying more to look at my menu's as a budgeting strategy and not just a food plan...cuz really I need to be on a budget, but if I look at it that way, then I don't feel deprived, just sacrificing wants but not needs for our family...and we are all eating the same way and all sacrificing some of the wants.
I will incorporate dessert once a week and we will have pizza (Kashi pizza) after Church on Wednesday nights, and we will have popcorn once a week, then everyone gets their favorite candy... one bag has to last two weeks...so everyone takes their bag of candy and divides it up into daily servings...
My daughter gets little hershey choc bar mixes, my husband gets Jelly Belly Jelly Beans, My youngest son, who is four, gets "raisins"... he loves raisins!!! And I get some dark chocolate and put mine in the freezer. Hard to eat more than one or two pieces when they are frozen. They take longer to melt and by the time they do melt in your mouth, you're pretty much sick of it.
I can't tell you how many times I have lost and gained and lost and gained and lost and gained...til you are fatter than if you had never "dieted" at all. This time I am not dieting, I changed what we eat and how much we eat to eat healthier. I, too have some health issues that I need to watch what I eat...saturated fats, salt and sugar... so I understand.
I hope that you do well and I sure am rooting for you, cuz we are in the same boat....Just get it off and KEEP IT OFF! We can do it!
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Old 09-15-2009, 11:04 AM   #15
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I was poking around the maintainer's forum and came across an old thread discussing some scientific findings about the metabolism of the formerly obese.

Apparently, once you have lost the weight and are a "thin" person again, you truly do not burn as many calories as 1) people who are thin and have never been fat and 2) your own self when you were fat. Even exercising, you burn fewer calories.

What can off-set that, help with it, apparently, is some weight lifting--or anything that will significantly increase lean body mass. So, if you start swimming--just keep swimming! (I love swimming, I have to figure out how to do more of it!)

Anyway, I'll link the discussion of the talk for you. I hope it helps.

Some Answers About Genes, Environment, Obesity and Maintenance
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