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Old 09-05-2009, 06:41 PM   #1
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As most of you know, I do not work due to the fact that my bf does not want to have to take me back and forth and yadda yadda yadda.

Anyway, I got a little tiny 15 dollar check today from a survey place. He just called here from work on break and I asked him if Monday when he is off, can he run me to cash it and to Wal Mart to buy me some new foundation. Now, seriously, I have been here almost a year and a half and have been out of the house maybe 10 tens so I rarely go anywhere or ask to go anywhere. His answer to me was "We'll see. I have been going somewhere every week and I may not want to this week." What the ****? I have been crying ever since and I am just so...hurt.
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Old 09-05-2009, 06:49 PM   #2
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I'm sorry to hear you're feelings were hurt. I don't like to hear that it made you cry, because I know how that feels.

I care, and if I were near I would drive you in a heartbeat.
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Old 09-05-2009, 06:54 PM   #3
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I'm sorry to hear that! I'd be upset too. A woman needs makeup! Or maybe just this woman does... I can't live without foundation. I'm not too familiar with your situation, but is there any way you can get there yourself? Public transportation? I hope he changes his mind and takes you!

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Old 09-05-2009, 06:59 PM   #4
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I don't know you except for your postings on 3FC, this is what I understand, you have been with your BF quite awhile , a year or so., I guess, he has never introduced you to his parents , who I believe live nearby, you have been out of the house ten times in the last year, you can't get a job because he doesn't want to take you to work.. He doesn't want to take you to run a short errand because he has been going somewhere every week.
What is wrong with this picture ?.
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:20 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bargoo View Post
I don't know you except for your postings on 3FC, this is what I understand, you have been with your BF quite awhile , a year or so., I guess, he has never introduced you to his parents , who I believe live nearby, you have been out of the house ten times in the last year, you can't get a job because he doesn't want to take you to work.. He doesn't want to take you to run a short errand because he has been going somewhere every week.
What is wrong with this picture ?.
I have been wondering this too, Michelle. I am concerned for you. Perhaps we are getting the wrong impression from your posts and if so, I hope you will clarify but this doesn't sound like a good situation and I am beginning to become quite concerned. Alarm bells went off when I read an earlier post where you said that he wouldn't even buy you a $5 Subway sandwich. I'm getting an impression of a beautiful, friendly, bubbly girl who is being isolated and controlled at least financially, if not in other ways. I did not realize you have only left the house 10 times since you've been there; that seems worrisome to me.

I am worried that you have a bigger problem than not being able to cash your check and get to WalMart. Is there anything we can do to help you?
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:28 PM   #6
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I'm sorry you're so sad! I don't have a license to drive - but I'm starting driving school soon *for the second time* to hopefully get over my driving phobia so I don't have to rely on my guy to take me places all the time, too. Regardless, his behavior is entirely inappropriate. You're such a supportive person with such a beautiful heart, and you support everyone here with warmth and kindness, and you deserve at the very least someone who could support YOU as much as you support others Your boyfriend makes my heart sad, for you.

Hopefully there's some kind of good headed your way very soon
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:48 PM   #7
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I know you feel obligated to your bf because he took you away from a bad situation, and even though he was not aware you were heavy until he met you. You went with him even though it was the first time you had met in person. I know that during your time with him you have been able to concentrate on becoming fit and healthy. I know you believe he may have saved your life. But, in actuality, you saved yourself. You may owe him your gratitude, but you do not owe him your freedom.

The isolation he is imposing on you is a huge red flag. The fact you are not working (and would like to) is certainly a control issue for him as you could probably afford your own car in a short time and contribute to the household income, so the driving is just an excuse.

You are as much an independent person as he is. You need to develop and grow in the world, not just in the house. You are a smart woman, and you need to figure out how to make this happen. Hugs.
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:49 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Windchime View Post
I am worried that you have a bigger problem than not being able to cash your check and get to WalMart. Is there anything we can do to help you?
I have to say I agree. Leaving the house 10 times in 18 months is a bad sign, you are being isolated. Consider if this is how you want to live your life, seriously.
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:51 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bargoo View Post
I don't know you except for your postings on 3FC, this is what I understand, you have been with your BF quite awhile , a year or so., I guess, he has never introduced you to his parents , who I believe live nearby, you have been out of the house ten times in the last year, you can't get a job because he doesn't want to take you to work.. He doesn't want to take you to run a short errand because he has been going somewhere every week.
What is wrong with this picture ?.
My thoughts exactly. Michelle I only know you through here and Sp too, but I really like you and think you are a sweet, smart, funny and VERY supportive girl, but I have to say this has been on my mind as well and I just never said anything because well, it's none of my business. On one hand I think he's a stand up guy for coming and getting you from TN even after he found out you were heavier than he thought. I thought that was pretty cool of him, but when you said he's never once told you that you're pretty, and Now I hear all this too? I do wonder if you are in the right place. If I lost 140 pounds and my man wasn't fawning all over my person and telling me how fabulous I am and look I'd be pissed off and find someone who would. LOL! But that's me.

I'm so sorry he's hurt your feelers like this and I sure hope y'all can talk it out, that and these other issues too and come to some sort of resolution. Love ya sweetie! if I were there, we'd sooooo go do a girly girly shopping day!
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:54 PM   #10
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Oh Michelle, I don't know your situation very well either but I must agree that this just does not sound good. Just remember that you are a good, strong, loving, supportive woman and you deserve the very best from a relationship. Surely there must be some way you can have some independence?

Love & hugs coming your way, all the way from Canada. Please don't cry.
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:55 PM   #11
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Is there anyone else you can call to drive you?
I think perhaps if he saw you were not completely dependant on him...he may act differently next time.
Maybe, when Monday comes and goes and you have made it there and back...he will see it was no big deal and feel guilty for acting selfish.
also, prby he has no idea what foundation is, and why you need it!!
Are you sure you are completely content in this relationship?

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Old 09-05-2009, 08:16 PM   #12
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awwwww Michelle *hugs*. You deserve so much better. You are a wonderful person. We're here for you.
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:38 PM   #13
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Michelle, it's obvious by the replies that you have received that you are very much cared for on this board. You are one of us, we feel protective towards you, and we feel frustrated because we see that perhaps you need help with your current situation. I know all about living a life of being subjected to another's financial control and it sucks. We are here for you if nothing else than to listen and try to offer a solution that will work for you.
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:38 PM   #14
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Mich - I hope you will read the posts above as coming from your 3FC friends that are very concerned about you. I feel the same way as many others. HUGE red flags are being waved here. Your isolation is very concerning - his control over your life is not normal - nor healthy.

I know that you love him and that you are happier now, but having read your posts over the last several months, more and more warning bells are going off and we are getting a better picture of what is going on in your life.

Please take our concerns in the spirit they are intended - we love you and care about you and are seriously concerned about your situation.

This isn't one little incident - it is one of many, many overly-controling incidents you have written about.

Your post here shows that you KNOW that something isn't right. Please, please reach out to someone you can trust and explore your concerns and feelings.

You are in my prayers!

Laurie
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:50 PM   #15
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Mich-Life is short...think about this.You are very bright and articulate.What advice would you give someone else in this situation?...there are pleanty of fish in the sea.
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